Admitting to Failure.
This morning is very bittersweet. Right now I should be running the Nike Women’s Marathon in San Francisco, but I’m not. I have tried to blog about it several times, and never knew quite what to say.
There are actually a number of reasons why this marathon didn’t happen. The first one? Finding time for training. When I signed up to run 26.2 in October, I was living a completely different life in Cincinnati. I had no idea that come October I’d be a full-time student living in North Carolina – crazy. When I was working, I was able to devote 100% of my free time to running, working out, planning runs, etc. Now that I am in school, even when class is over, I am constantly going – homework, errands, cleaning, etc. – just trying to keep all the balls in the air. I’m doing my best to just find the time to blog! (Kath, Meghann, Caitlin – I don’t know how you guys do it!) Training went really well until we moved, and then pretty much took a nosedive.
Reason number two – running in Charlotte sucks. There, I said it. Casey and I are both really unhappy with where we live (and are considering moving again, ugh). Our house is nice, but the neighborhood is waaay out in the ‘burbs, and there are no sidewalks or good places to run. It’s very isolating, and I feel very…trapped. I want to run, but I just don’t know where to go. I know it sounds ridiculous, but seriously – I either run out of sidewalks and the street is too busy to run in, or I hit dead ends everywhere I turn. As a result, most of my runs are five miles or less – not exactly great for marathon training.
Number three – flights. I hit a huge wall trying to find a flight back from San Francisco on Sunday that would get me to Charlotte before my 7am class on Monday morning. There is a dead zone for flights on the west coast in the afternoon, since there is nowhere to land on the east coast in the middle of the night. I literally could not find a flight that would leave Sunday afternoon and get back Sunday night – they were all too early or too late, or too expensive. Speaking of expensive, the final nail in the marathon coffin was the dogs’ little emergency vet incident a few weeks ago, that ended with a $1,600 vet bill. Goodbye San Francisco…
Finally, and perhaps one of the bigger factors… When you move away from friends, family, home – your perspective on a lot of things changes. I don’t really want to travel anymore just to travel – I want to see people! It was hard for me to imagine spending $1,000 to travel to San Fran for a marathon, when I wouldn’t have had time to actually explore the city, and I wouldn’t have seen anyone I knew. For the same price, I could fly my entire family here for Christmas! Now that we live in NC, our time and travel money is limited, so I want to make sure it is well spent. And the best way to spend both time and money is with the people you love, right?
So that is my very long explanation for why I am not crossing the finish line for my Tiffany necklace right now. I wont lie – I’m really sad about it. And regardless of the circumstances, I’m still pretty disapp0inted in myself. I am a lot of things, but I am not a quitter. So for that reason, I will share my next endeavor…
THUNDER ROAD! The Charlotte Thunder Road Marathon is December 12th, right here in good ole’ Charlotte. I made my training schedule yesterday – I have eight weeks. Yes, eight weeks. I knooow marathon training is typically 18 weeks, but I’m still in good shape, and I’ve been running a lot recently, so I think I can do it. Will I beat my PR from the Flying Pig? Ummm maybe if pigs fly. But that doesn’t matter. This isn’t about pace or time, this is about me – re-learning how to be a part of the sport that I love, on sidewalks that feel very very far away from home.
I will run 26.2 miles in the city I am doing my best to learn, and I will have Casey cheering for me on the sidelines, and I will make myself proud by refocusing today’s failure, and turning it into December’s success.
Next weekend, we’re heading to Washington, DC where Casey will run the Marine Corps Marathon with Team LUNGevity. He’s sort of in the same boat as me – undertrained, unsure, and nervous. But he is in amazing shape, and we both know that he can do it. I know that watching him run side by side with the marines, through a city as inspiring as DC, will be the perfect motivation as I kick off my training. I promise to take lots and lots of pictures!
And one final marathon thought, a HUGE congratulations to my college cutie pie (sorority) grand-little Amelia, who ran her first marathon this morning in Columbus, Ohio! I just got the Twitter update that she finished in 4:39:56 – way to go Meems! I am so proud of you:) I promise to make you proud in December!