about me

    Emily Malone

    culinary arts grad. nutrition facts lover. vegetarian chef. marathon runner. country music maniac. failed dog trainer. barre fanatic. loving mama.

    Contact Emily

    EmilyBMalone@gmail.com

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    What’s Cooking?

    Personal Bests

    5K - 23:28

    10K - 52:35

    15K - 1:38:14

    1/2 Marathon - 1:57:39

    Marathon - 3:50:58

    A Look Back.



Coming Home.

On Thursday afternoon, I was hit by a car.  Life changed in an instant.  I spent the rest of that night, and really most of the next day in a fog.  I boarded a plane to Ohio because I didn’t know what else to do.  Even just minutes after the accident, I was sobbing and worrying about strangely trivial things – “call the dogsitter, call the airline, I need dry sweatpants!”  I kept telling everyone I was fine, and simply lucky to be alive.  Now days later, I realize I was simply still in shock.

I arrived in Ohio still in a haze, and suddenly plunged into being surrounded by everyone that I love most.  I was distracted from the pain and fear by wedding schedules and celebratory events.  For those few days, I tried to smile and enjoy the moments, but I just didn’t quite feel like me.

I arrived home early Monday morning, and have been in this spot on the couch ever since.

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It’s certainly not a bad setup.  The dogs are thrilled to have someone encouraging extra laziness, and they have each declared which side of me they will each snuggle on.

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I have a nice view of the street from my window, and it helps me feel connected to the world outside.  Before the accident, I spent a lot of time outside.  Casey and I walked to coffee shops and worked during the day, I took the dogs for lots of walks, I went for long runs and bike rides that made me feel alive.  I am so SLOW to get anywhere now, so my outdoor world is mainly limited to my window.

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You have all been so wonderful and left me inspiring and emotional comments, tweets, and emails.  You have told me that I have handled this so well and that I’ve been unbelievable graceful.  I’m afraid that perhaps my gracefulness is wavering…

A few people emailed and warned me that the mental effects of accidents can be equal to or more damaging than the physical effects sometimes.  I feel like as I laid there on the side of the road being pelted by rain, something crawled inside of me and stole my spirit.  I just don’t feel like me anymore.

One of the things I pride myself on is honesty, so I’m not going to sugar coat my struggles.  I am having a really hard time.  As soon as I entered my front door yesterday and landed back in my world, the reality of my situation set in.  I spent most of yesterday alternating between sobbing and sleeping, and I struggled to maintain as much as a normal conversation or meal.

Last week I was training for a marathon and ran 20 miles.  Today, showering and going to the bathroom are events in my day.  My beautiful home that I love so much is suddenly an obstacle course with three staircases.  My clean and shiny kitchen is a teasing reminder that I have eaten mostly cereal and sandwiches since I have returned.  I told myself that if I put on mascara it would help me to stop crying, but instead I just have black streaks down my cheeks.

Please understand, I am SO grateful for the health that I do have.  I realize how much more severe my injuries could be, and I know that I am so crazy fortunate to even be alive given the circumstances.  But you know what?  I’m also really pissed off.  And I’m intensely depressed.  And I’m allowed to be.  At least for a little while.

I am doing my best to find the joy in the little things.  I got a package today from my BF Lindsey – a big see through umbrella with yellow polka dots, so that no car can ever claim to not see me again.  It brought a much needed smile to my face.  :)

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And when the smiles have faded and the sadness sets in, it is nice to have such warm and furry reassurance right next to me.

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I feel like a piece of me has changed, and I wonder I will feel like myself again.  I am petrified riding in cars, and hyper-aware of my surroundings.  I keep waking up sweating at night, and have visions of the front of the Tahoe coming towards me.  I stared at my Marine Corps Marathon deferment page for 20 minutes today before closing the window.  I just simply couldn’t do it.

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I know that this will pass.  Eventually my leg will (hopefully) be normal again.  And while I’m telling you about the sad parts, there are other things I can focus on and celebrate.  As if I didn’t already love Casey enough, he has been an unwavering source of support.  On top of working full time, he is bringing me coffee and snacks, changing my bandages, listening to my tears, and letting me work through this as slowly as I need to.  Hopefully it won’t take too much longer.

In the meantime, I am trying to find silver linings and find new outlets to explore with my limited mobility.  I truly cannot thank you all enough for the way you’ve supported me through both the ups and the downs.  While one stranger robbed me of a lot, thousands of other “strangers” have brought me smiles, advice, and so much love.  I hope someday to be able to return the favor to each of you.

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232 Comments so far
Leave a comment

sarah     at 7:41 pm

I love you. So there. Hey: want some Reiki? I can send you some, long distance.

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Renee     at 7:43 pm

*hugs*

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Runeatrepeat     at 7:43 pm

I am sending you a ton of love and prayers. I would be a complete mess if that happened to me.

You will be okay and you will return to your old self :) But, it’s okay to be right here for now. Don’t feel the need to speed up your mental recovery any more than you can speed up your physical recovery. Take care of yourself.

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Elizabeth     at 7:45 pm

Sending you healing thoughts from Massachusetts. Be gentle with yourself.

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shauna     at 7:46 pm

Hey Emily,

What your feeling is normal. Thanks for being so open and honest and saying how you are really feeling. I knew that had to hurt girl and that you were putting on a brave face and I was saying “oh my god, how is she smiling.” I’m glad that you are so loved and supported in real life and online. You inspire us a lot. Take care of yourself and rest (((HUG)))

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Erin Hack     at 7:51 pm

Emily, I know that I don’t even know you, but I religiously follow your blog and it breaks my heart that you are feeling so bad. Please know that this will pass and that you have so many friends (personal and blog-readers) that care about you and want you to get better. Take care of yourself and before you know it this will be a distant memory. Take this time for yourself and let your body & mind heal. :)

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tina     at 7:52 pm

each time you’ve posted since the accident, i have gained more and more respect for you.

i know i’ve only been reading your blog for a few months, but i feel so much for you- even telling my husband and friends about your accident and how well you are handling it- and even through your struggles, i think you are handling it amazingly…

don’t lose who you are.. and let yourself go through all those feelings! what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!!!

get yourself (or have casey get you) a season of a good show (friends, SATC, or a full series of lost or something) – that will keep you entertained and insterested!

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Michelle     at 7:53 pm

(((Emily))) you are amazing and strong. And you will run that marathon next year. Keep healing and letting your adorable pups and husband nurse you back to health.

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Cynthia (It All Changes)     at 7:53 pm

I have been praying for you Emily and the struggles you are going through. They are all valid and I’m glad Casey and your dogs can be there to support you.

Perhaps talking to someone about it would help too. Injury and loss even in this sense is good to talk and cry out.

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emily     at 7:55 pm

You are STILL handling this with grace. It’s OK to be pissed off. Like really, really pissed off. I broke my leg last year and it was 100% my fault (I ran a half marathon, without training, on a bad stress fracture) and I still cried every day.

If you can, try to find the fun in being couchbound. Do you have Netflix? Because there is some shockingly good tv available on instant watch. My advice – Buffy the Vampire Slayer!

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Krystina (Organically Me)     at 7:57 pm

You’re a beautiful, strong woman, I can’t say that enough. Take as much time as you need to relax, recover and feel like yourself again. It might be a long road, but you can do it, I know you can. I’ll be sending positive yogic thoughts your way. :D

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Amy     at 8:01 pm

Emily,

Your friends are right; this is normal. I suffered a miscarriage last month and for the first few days, I held it together pretty well. I was too busy dealing with the medical and physical issues to be very concerned about my emotional state.

I fell apart after about three days and like you, I wondered if I would ever feel like myself again. I have good news: it does get better. Take it one day at a time. Breathe deep. Be kind to yourself, whatever that looks like. Just try to have hope. It will get better.

I’ll be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.

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A Better Me     at 8:02 pm

XOXO

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Cristen     at 8:03 pm

Even though you feel like you might be in one of your darkest moments, you are continuing to show such magnificent strength!! You are definitely entitled to the feelings that you are experiencing right now.

Just think of it in terms of running, even though you think you won’t be able to finish those last miles, you push through and come out stronger on the other side!

Healing thoughts and hugs coming your way…

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Katie KS     at 8:03 pm

So – maybe this is rude, but when can you start physical therapy? Even though this injury is from a car mowing you down rather than say from twisting your knee playing soccer or something, I imagine that you will still get therapy. And, in my opinion, that will probably help not only your knee but also your spirits. Because I see you as a very focused and dedicated person and you seem like you’ve lost that piece of you (rightfully so). So my thought is if you have something to focus on making you better, then you will probably feel more like yourself… Good luck with your recovery … and again, hope this doesn’t sound rude or anything. I think I’d spend a few days sobbing first as well :)

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Sara     at 8:05 pm

I feel like I am just repeating what so many people have said but I can’t help myself. I am also an avid reader of your blog and I have an enormous amount of respect for how you handled an already emotionally charged weekend after the trauma of last week.
I would love to think I’d be able to handle something like this with the grace you have shown but I know I would be an emotional train wreck. You are more than allowed a few days (weeks?) to cry it out, be sad, depressed, angry….and then you will come back stronger than you were before. I also do not know you but since I read about this last week I have been thinking about you and wondering how you were doing. (I hope I’m not creepy sounding!) Eat protein (to heal!), sleep a lot and watch as much bad tv and movies as you can…someday you will be out for a run and think to yourself “ugh, i just want to sit on the couch.” :)

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Lisa     at 8:06 pm

Hang in there, Emily. It sounds like you’re handling it the best you can (and probably better than most would) and no one can criticize you for that. Take your time and work through it. Sending positive thoughts your way!

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Jo     at 8:06 pm

Emily,

I read your blog often (Love your recipes), but have never commented until today. I wish you a speedy recovery and all the best.

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MA*     at 8:07 pm

I mean, I don’t want to overshadow how amazing YOU are, but Boots was RIGHT ON TARGET with that gift. I can’t think of anything more appropriate :) xoxoxo

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Grace     at 8:08 pm

Oh Emily, I am so so sorry. :( It’s heartbreaking and unfair that this happened to you at all. If I can bring you some food or tea or cupcakes or help out in any way at all, I’d love to do so! I truly hope that your recovery will be quick and that you’ll feel like yourself in no time. In the meantime, we’re all supporting you.

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Amanda     at 8:09 pm

Praying for you to have a safe recovery! You are soo strong and I look up to someone that is strong and brave like you have been through this tough time!

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Marta     at 8:10 pm

Hi Emily! I’m ill equipped to give you advice on the trauma you’ve been through, but I don’t think it would be overkill to seek out some form of therapy to deal with the flashbacks you’re having. Try to be patient with yourself, I know it’s hard for someone who loves to keep busy. Don’t overdo it! The blog world can wait until you’re good and ready to wow us with inspiring recipes and entertain us with dog chasing stories. And don’t worry, you will feel better physically and emotionally, it’ll just take some time :)

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Kathi     at 8:12 pm

Emily,

I have follow your blog for a few months and when I heard of your accident my heart went out to you. Although I was not hit by a car I had a severe leg injury where I feel and slipped on ice and broke my patella (knee cap). I had never broken a bone in my body before. I figure your bone heals and then your get on with your life. That is not what happened in my journey. It look me almost three years to recover and I had many very dark days like the moment you are feeling. But my accident made me even stronger than I ever thought I was. I thought I would never run again but I happy to report that I have been running the last few weeks and it has felt incredible.
I know your journey will bring more strength to you too!
I am hear for you if you need a shoulder to lean on.

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Elsa     at 8:12 pm

Hey girl, you have been on my mind so much since your accident. I hope that doesn’t sound too creepy, seeing how I don’t know you in real life, but I read your blog everyday (and LOVE it, btw) and well, I just want you to know that there is one more ‘stranger’ out here rooting for you. Hope you feel better soon, inside and out.

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KVH     at 8:12 pm

Emily, like I tweeted to you yesterday, you are still amazing and inspiring! You have every right to feel depressed, as I know I definitely would if I were in your situation. I have thought about your accident constantly for the past week. I was already afraid of being hit by a car while running (my city is very NOT walking friendly), but your situation has made me think about it so much more. My husband was hit by a car while running about 10 years ago, and was lucky enough to come out with only a fractured wrist (he was able to jump up on the hood of the car, luckily). He is still dealing with some ramifications from nerve damage in his wrist and shoulder. And honestly, I think I am still more scared of getting hit by a car than he is!

You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers! Thank God your weren’t more seriously injured! You will get through this, and you are so lucky to have the support of a wonderful husband and an awesome blogging community! If I knew you better and lived anywhere near VA, I would definitely be giving you hugs! You are strong and amazing!

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Anna @ Doing Good & Living Well     at 8:14 pm

Your grace is ridiculously amazing. I would have been a sobbing, cranky, fussy, pissed off mess from the get go. Your strength is amazing. Also, props to Casey and the pooches for their love and support — so key.

Seriously, please let me know if you need anything. I have more books than I know what to do with, a ton of different tv shows on dvd, and a willingness to ferry you treats of any sort.

While things may be low right now, I’m sure that you’ll be back on top soon. You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers.

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Lori H     at 8:16 pm

It’s not a surprise that you are feeling sad and mad and different. I think you are wise to give yourself time to feel all these things, and still realize that you need to celebrate the good things in your life. Things WILL get back to normal, just give it time. I admire you so much and look forward to when you are back with your yummy cooking posts, and your running posts too. Take care, sending hugs and prayers!

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sarahMTSBB     at 8:16 pm

awww, you’re going to be ok! as soon as you are healed, you’ll feel like yourself again. the only lasting damage will be extreme caution in the street i bet (i’m still this way 10 yrs later). i remember limping sadly, barely making it across the long crosswalks of ohio state for a good month afterwards since my calf was a massive contusion that i couldn’t even fully extend…but i was so stubborn that i refused to use disability services. rest up! maybe watch some sort of uplifting dvds or work on something crafty (like organizing pictures? starting christmas cards?). feel better soon!

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Tina     at 8:18 pm

Oh Em, I had a feeling this might happen when you got home. It’s okay to feel like you feel. You’ve been physically and mentally assaulted by a huge vehicle. What it boils down to is that you are learning the GRAND lesson we all get reminded of from time to time. We are not in control. We can prepare, plan, get organized and do all sorts of things but all that can be taken away from us in a hearbeat. It’s such a hard lesson – and a painful one sometimes. Everyone presented with this lesson hates it. Turn it over to God, and when you take it back, turn it over again. Try to figure out what he wants you to learn. He has surely slowed you down, so take time to look around, take in the sights, scents, and sounds and you will get what you need. Take time to read. Take time to think. Take time for Emily. Take time to pray. You know you are so deeply loved. All of us are here for you. So is God. He is right by your side. He never left you – even when you were laying on the pavement being pelted by the rain. You have never been or will ever be alone. Take great comfort in that.

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Tricia     at 8:18 pm

Just wanted you to know that I’m thinking good thots for you in Minnesota! Yes, this is rough, but you WILL get thru it. You have such strength – you just arent able to see it as clearly at the moment. You are allowed to feel sad right now but in time I know that you will be just fine! Hang in there!!!!!

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Lauren @ laurenINlawrence     at 8:18 pm

feel better! my heart goes out to you. i know you will get back on your feet soon. glad you have the pups and an amazing husband there with you.

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Maren     at 8:20 pm

I know exactly how you feel. I had re-constructive ankle surgery in August and I lived on the sofa for over a month. Everything feels so hard. Don’t worry things will get easier, eventually getting up wont hurt as much and going to the bathroom won’t be the highlight of your day simply because you were in another room of the house. Hope you feel better. Will you have to do PT to get back to fully functional?

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Beth     at 8:22 pm

Emily…Hello from Australia! The best part of my morning is getting into work and checking your blog :) You have so inspired me to eat better, run more and treat my body the way it deserves. You are such an amazing woman and I am so sorry that this has happened to you…pain (and fear) can be so debilitating (both physically and mentally)and I can only imagine how scared you are that you will never be able to run again or function like you used to. You have every right to be angry, depressed and every feeling in-between! Take your other readers advice, but at the same time set yourself a time limit. Allow yourself to be depressed and angry for 1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks, but then put all your energy into finding how to be yourself again, otherwise your feelings can spiral out of control. I hope everyday you begin to feel better – set yourself little goals, small victories to make you feel better. And I agree with Emily’s comment – go for Buffy the Vampire Slayer: perfect “healing” television. I am praying for you

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Sandra     at 8:22 pm

Emily, you continue to show a remarkable spirit. Strength isn’t just about smiling through tears, it’s about allowing yourself to go through the process and to feel. I know it’s scary to give in to those feelings, but I believe you’ll be better off for it. I continue to send you positive thoughts and I’m sure you’ll experience a full recovery – physical, spiritual and emotional. Much love.

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Shannon     at 8:24 pm

Hi Emily,

I’m a sorta new reader (about 6 months) and I’m sorry about the rough time you’re having. I can’t imagine what it’s like and I have no idea what you’re going through but I hope you feel better soon. Did your MD at the ER prescribe you physical therapy at all? They could apply some modalities to help with speeding up the healing of your wounds and to help with pain. I’m sure this has been mentioned but something worth looking into. If the ER doc didn’t prescribe it, maybe call your general practitioner and ask him if he thinks it is something he would write orders for. I don’t know your insurance situation, but it may be worth it. Esp. since you’re an athlete you want to maintain your strength and ROM.

I’m an occupational therapist and work with about 5 PTs so I’d be happy to answer any questions if you have them about therapy.

Shan

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Michelle (The Runner's Plate)     at 8:25 pm

Thank you for being so open and honest!

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Marci     at 8:26 pm

Hoping that each day is better than the last, and I hope this opens up a new opportunity to spend more time writing or using your brain to teach us new things until you can get back in the kitchen.
I think I would be more mad than sad, and you are handling it just as you’re supposed to with the stages of grief!

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Heidi     at 8:30 pm

Hi Emily, I’m so sorry to read about your accident and hope your recovery comes along quickly. Although hopefully you won’t have to go, physical therapy is an amazing help with the healing process. I love your blog and have found it to be very insperational and am sending you positive get-well-soon thoughts from Chicago!

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Lauren     at 8:30 pm

You have every right to feel this way! Truly, you do. Don’t for one second feel bad about being pissed. Gosh, I would be furious!!! But do remember that there was a reason. I know it’s impossible to rationalize this now, but the only silver lining anyone can salvage from such an unfortunate thing is to have faith that there is purpose in pain.

Hang in there sweet heart!!! And always remember how amazing you truly are. :)

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Bess @ Bess Be Fit     at 8:31 pm

You have every right in the world to be upset! And it won’t make you feel any better to bottle it up. Let it out and let it pass, because it will!! Its completely understandable you feel sad and angry and you shouldn’t feel bad that you feel that way. Just know that there must have been a really good reason out there for this to happen, something you may not even realize yet!! Stay strong, this too shall pass.

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Melanie     at 8:31 pm

Emily, I am so sorry to hear about your accident. I think you are very wise to allow yourself to FEEL…whatever that may be at the moment. If you need to cry, cry. Sleep, do that too. Whine, go right ahead. Blog about it, type away. You WILL get through this. You WILL heal. God bless you!

Gentle hugs,
Melanie

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christina cadden     at 8:33 pm

Hang in there. Praying for quick healing and comfort. Plus, you have every right to be mad, sad, angry, depressed and pissed. Do not forget to go to the doctor for a check up either. Also, remember what the Lord says: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

He has a plan and this is all part of it. Only in time will you understand. Praying for you.

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Lisa (bakebikeblog)     at 8:35 pm

Sending you lots and lots and lots of hugs ))))))

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Jessica @ How Sweet     at 8:36 pm

Hang in there girl! You are so strong and you WILL get through this. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, and there is a reason you strongly survived this and are put in this situation. It sucks, but there has to be some good coming out of it!

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KatieF     at 8:37 pm

Emily–this sounds cheesy to say, but I can’t think of another way to say it, so I will: your strength and grace throughout this have been nothing short of inspirational. You are allowed to feel depressed, and in fact, that is normal. You are awesome–best wishes for quick healing!

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mo     at 8:39 pm

emily -
i love reading your blog and have learned so many tips/ideas/recipes from it – you are incredibly talented and i so enjoy reading about all the things you do.
you take just as long as you need to heal. at the risk of bringing up a painful subject, i think getting better is a marathon, too. You’ve been at mile 23 before and stared it right back in the face – this is no different. the fans are still cheering you on and believe in you – we’ll yell extra loud from cyberspace.
all best.

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MichelleC     at 8:40 pm

You are doing well, your posts bring tears to my eyes. I can relate, the last day of March this year, my husband, dog and I were on a night walk to enjoy a milder evening. My dog was attacked by another dog and I was bit in the face by the process as well. So my husband took my dog to the emergency vet and I went to the emergency room where I had to wait for a plastic surgeon to fix my face. I was worried sick about my dog of course.

For days I was at home because I was in shock, I didn’t want anyone to see me, etc. I also did alot of crying and was depressed and wasn’t sure I would ever be normal again.

But in time things pass. If you were to see me you wouldn’t know I was bit in the face and while I have some scars (both external and internal) I am stronger for it.

Hang in there, it gets better!!

Oh and my dog (Maggie) is fine too.

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Ginna     at 8:42 pm

Emily – I can totally relate to how you are feeling. And you are definitely entitled to feel scared and not yourself! Time heals all wounds. When we found out my FIL had brain cancer just a month ago it was like the whole world stopped, it was so surreal. I can’t even imagine what he is going through just like what you are going through being hit! Each day will get better. Sounds like you are grieving for your old self and your life before you got hit and that is very normal! Everyone grieves at their own rate too. I hope you feel like your old self soon!

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Tori     at 8:44 pm

Emily,
I really feel for you and the hardship you are going through. You are very brave to be so honest. Keep talking about everything, it will help in the long run! Hang in there! You can do it :)!

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Katie @ Life... Discombobulated     at 8:51 pm

I’m so sorry you’re having a rough time right now! But, you’re totally right – you are allowed to feel every feeling that comes to you. My unsolicited advice is to let yourself be just as down, angry, sad as you want, but remind yourself a million times how lucky you are – just so you don’t forget! ;) And I think you’ll start to feel back to yourself in no time. You’re tough. You’re strong. You’ve made it through MARATHONS, for goodness sake! :) And you’ll make it through more. My mom has always told me (even tough she’s not particularly religious!) that God wouldn’t put an obstacle in front of you if he weren’t sure you could overcome it!

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lani     at 8:54 pm

did you break a leg?

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Grace     at 8:58 pm

You may feel like your gracefulness is wavering, but from the outside, you seem to be handling this just as gracefully as ever. You have every right to be depressed and angry, and you are so wise to let yourself experience those emotions. Know how strong you are, and know that this too shall pass! You’re an absolute inspiration!

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Karen     at 8:58 pm

Big hugs Emily… I am so sorry. It will get better one day at a time and probably does help on some level to be open about your feelings and fears. Hang in there Em. You will be back in no time :)

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Sarah     at 9:00 pm

Hang in there! I’ve been reading you for awhile now and I know you’re a strong woman. Take your time healing both mentally and physically. Try to look around and count your blessings daily. Be patient, don’t stress, and this too shall pass!

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Anne     at 9:02 pm

Sending you lots of love!!!! Keep your chin up and take as long as you need to work through what’s going on in your head. You’ve been through a LOT in the last few days.

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Stacey     at 9:04 pm

This post brought tears to my eyes. You are very much loved Emily and we are all here for you. Thanks for bring so honest about how your feeling. Know that this will pass and you are a very brave woman. I was hit my a car when I was nine and I don’t remember much of it, but I mom says it took me weeks to act like my normal self again…just know that we are here for u :) feel better and keep your furry loves close!

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Megan     at 9:06 pm

Emily,

While I was in high school my brother was hit by a car while he was riding his bike. As a double whammy, the drivers were friends of my parents. All of it was a freak accident. I remember the fears, worry, and pain my brother experienced. They were very similar to what you expressed in your blog today. It took my brother a little while to get back to being himself, but he got it back. Girl, you will too! You have every right to be upset, sad, mad, you name it. Feel those emotions. Acknowledging them, crying over them, and yelling them out are all ways of healing. The amazing part of the human body is its ability to heal. As you let go of the negative feelings, simultaneously, your body begins to mends itself. Know there are many people out there rooting for you and your recovery!!!

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Christine     at 9:06 pm

Hi Emily,
I have been reading your blog for a month or so but haven’t commented before (although I love your recipes and joy for health and fitness and probably should have piped in earlier just to say so!). I wanted to tell you how much I admire your honesty in this post There’s a lot of emphasis in the healthy living community (and our culture in general) on the power of positive thinking and keeping your head up and all that but really there’s no way around it–what happened to you completely SUCKS!! I am so sorry about this accident and the pain you are going through–no one should have such a sudden change inflicted upon them due to no fault of their own. And I think it’s more than okay and totally totally normal for you to feel sad and shocked and have a whole bunch of negative feelings right now. So sit on the couch, snuggle with your pups and your man, and cry for awhile! Your readers will miss your smile and your positive energy, but we’ll know that you’ll be back soon–more radiant than ever. :) Best wishes for a full and quick recovery.

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kelly     at 9:07 pm

Awww… hugs from New Jersey!

This too shall pass…

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Emilee     at 9:07 pm

When I was a kid, I broke my legs.I struggled with what I was capable of doing and what I wanted to do. After I healed, I ended up being much more flexible than before and quite a good gymnast. It’s usually a blessing in disguise that you won’t realize until years later. You’ll be back and better before you know it. Down time can be a great time to reflect and plan. Good luck, and best wishes.

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Amy C.     at 9:08 pm

Emily, I’ve been following your blog and feel like you’re my friend even though we’ve never met. Peace and healing thoughts from a faithful reader in San Antonio…

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Kim H     at 9:10 pm

Hang in there…you are such a trooper! It has to be hard not to be able to do everyday tasks that we all take for granted. Hopefully you’ll be able to get some well deserved rest now that you’re home. Sending prayers and well wishes from the Hoosier state!

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emilyr     at 9:13 pm

i don’t know how you do it! i keep crying when i read these posts :( As my friends and I say, “In with the out” as in breaths and keep feeling your feelings… nothing you feel is wrong! Also, you can do it! You ROCK!!

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Jessica     at 9:14 pm

If you weren’t pissed off, something wouldn’t be right! I don’t even know you and the first thing I thought was how could this happen to such a wonderful and talented person? While I truly do believe there is a reason for everything, until that reason is known it’s very difficult to see the good in the situation. Yeah, it could have been worse, but when getting up and going to the bathroom is hard, it’s a serious situation that requires more mental strength than most of us have at the ready. You will get through this, and it will get easier, but it will be tough and that’s ok. Your “real” self is probably just on the back burner (lol) so your stronger, more ferocious “I will heal this body” self can do its magic :) We love you <3

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Sally     at 9:15 pm

Your strength and honesty are so inspiring and your post is so poignant that I am sitting here wiping my snotty nose and blotting the tears from my eyes. You were hit be a freakin car, so yes, be mad, sad, frustrated. Rant and rave and do whatever you need to do. We’re all rooting for you :)

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Aimee     at 9:15 pm

PLEASE don’t feel guilty or mopey about taking the time to properly heal and mourn the gravity of the event. You got hit by a truck. Literally.
Perspective-wise, just as an outside observer: you flew twice, participated in a wedding (in heels!) and crammed in a bunch of family time– each of those would be stressful and draining in and of themselves, but to experience them mere hours (truly, not more than 48 hours passed between the accident and the start of wedding day beautifying, right?) post-accident??? Amazing that you’re holding up as well as you are, even.
Cry. Yell. Pray. Hug your husband and those big, boistrous pups. Take your medicine. Follow your PT schedule and do the at-home exercises dilligently… soon enough, you’ll be back in action. Just give it time–it’s only been a few days!
You got this, girl. :)

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Heather     at 9:18 pm

I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. I don’t blame you a bit though, you are def. allowed to be upset, sad depressed, and angry. You were hit by a freaking car!!!! I hope one day soon you will wake up feeling like yourself again. You are brave, you are strong, you can do this!

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Kristin     at 9:28 pm

Em,

an accident, illness or any event can change anyone’s life in an instant. I know the immense, intense depression that can follow such an event. It will pass but don’t rush through or short change your feelings. It is perfectly normal to be in shock and then sad.

You are a strong, amazing women!! I am honored to personally know you and be your friend. You will get through this pain and the fear will subside in time. You are lucky to be surrounded by a loving husband, family and friends all over.

XOXO

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Marty     at 9:29 pm

Rant, rage, scream and cry! You are entitled. There are no rules saying you must be strong or rational or that you must be grateful for being “less injured” than you might be. Mourn for the marathon, for the loss of mobility and for the changes. Once you let all of that out, there will be room for the positive to creep back in. I am already seeing it, the dogs, Casey, the smile under the umbrella. You are awesome and have handled this with uncommon grace and we are all proud of your fortitude!

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Cynthia     at 9:34 pm

I am so sorry that this happened to you. You have every right to feel depressed and angry. Vent to Casey all you want because that’s what he’s there for. And I have a dog so I know how healing they can be. They have a wonderful tendency to put a smile on your face, no matter what. Love the umbrella! Feel better soon.

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Christy     at 9:35 pm

Hi Emily! I have been following your blog for a few months and I drool each time I look at your recipes! However, I think this blog is more than just recipes. It’s about you sharing your life, your journey through the ups and downs of cooking, and just life! I think you’re amazing and have a wonderful attitude towards life. what happened sucked. but your attitude towards what happened makes you shine even more! So keep smiling and icing, I bet you will be walking/running in no time. and actually you and us all will all have a increased appreciation for the little things in life we take for granted! Thank you for sharing and your honesty!

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Kate     at 9:36 pm

Don’t beat yourself up. Obviously the freaking truck already did that. ;p

It is OK to need time. Let things out, and do your best to move on. It’s OK to be frustrated.

Getting a vulnerability reality check is a terrifying experience. Remember it is OK to be vulnerable. It’s upsetting and not at all ideal, but it is OK. It is natural, we’re flesh and blood and bone and spirit and that’s it. We just don’t like to be reminded of that. Don’t try to overcompensate for how you feel or do too much too soon.

You’ve run like a zillion marathons. You’ve done 20 milers all by yourself. Normal circumstances Emily is fantastically strong. You’re like, what, 25/26? You have loads of time to get back there again.

Keep snuggling those dogs.

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kelly     at 9:39 pm

*BIG HUGS* to you!!

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Kamaile     at 9:41 pm

Thinking of you.

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Julie @SavvyEats     at 9:47 pm

You are so, so strong and you will get through this. Thinking of you! xoxo

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Gree     at 9:47 pm

Hang in there, the psychological effects of something like this are really rough. Just take care of yourself, take time to embrace all the emotions you’re feeling..it will get better.

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Kelli     at 9:48 pm

Emily, you absolutely have the right to be mad, sad, confused, frightened. You went through something so traumatic – it’s going to take awhile. I’m so sad and mad for you about the marathon, well, about everything. But you are strong. You will be able to get through this. It will take some time. I’m sure you’ll be frustrated a lot. Vent here, you’ve got a lot of people thinking of you. Big hugs.

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Lee     at 9:50 pm

Oh Emily, I’m so sorry that you are having a hard time. Hang in there, girl.

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kellyO     at 9:51 pm

Obviously I don’t “know” you but I’ve been reading your blog for quite sometime. The one thing I want to encourage you is…give yourself time. There is no schedule for an event like this. Take all the time you need. “You” will be back.

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chelsey @ clean eating chelsey     at 9:54 pm

You are strong – and you are brave – and you are a trooper. No matter what you think right now. you’re entitled to it. Be sad, be depressed, cry until snot runs down your face – you are totally allowed to do that after being struck by a car for goodness sake!

Thank you for your honesty Emily – it is always appreciated! Sending hugs your way!

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nadia jaber     at 9:54 pm

Having worked as a medic for many years, I can tell you that things like these serve as reminders of how little control people truly have over their lives. That can be an earth shattering realization. And soon, you’ll come to accept that and see that it was in fact your lucky day- you had a brush with death in some ways, that changes you- but you are here to live another day…

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lindsay     at 10:00 pm

Continuing to send positive thoughts your way, Emily! Love the new umbrella :)

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Helen     at 10:01 pm

Take your time! One must go through all the stages of grievance, which includes anger, frustration, depression, etc. Embrace your emotions, you have a right to feel that way, and a right to voice your feelings. I for one can not blame you at all. I will continute to pray for you and your husband. Lean on each other! Your are blessed and loved. We will all listen and be here for you through it all!

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Jordan @ Live a Little Better     at 10:02 pm

Sending positive thoughts your way. I was so upset on Friday afternoon about getting a speeding ticket…and then I found out you got hit by a car (a day late)! OMG. Really puts things in perspective, huh? You’re so strong, and I’ll know you’ll get through this. Don’t feel ashamed about crying or wallowing in what happened.

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Caitlin     at 10:02 pm

I cannot even imagine how you are feeling. I think the only time I’ve been in shock was when I was robbed, and I can totally relate to the dreams and fear. I can just tell you that it will get better with time, and that you have such a great community of supporters (even those like me who have never met you but continue to be inspired by you every day!)My thoughts are with you every day.

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Alexis @ Mission: Ambition     at 10:05 pm

I can’t imagine how hard that must be. Let yourself be sad, if there’s any situation that it’s merited, yours is it for sure. But, also know that you will get better and you will feel like yourself again.

I heard this song today and it made me think of you and what you’re going through with your accident…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OT10h5vqmZs

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Faith     at 10:09 pm

My senior year of college my best friend and roommate was in an accident where a drunk driver hit her family’s car. Her back was broken as a result of the crash, and she spent many days lying on her back and then in a back brace, frustrated that she had to depend on everyone else because of someone else’s mistake.

Your anger is definitely warranted, and you probably will not be the same Emily you were before the accident, but I’m sure you will emerge from this situation as a stronger individual.

My friend has made a full recovery (with a metal pole in her back!) and is on to completing her second degree to be a teacher.

Your future is still so bright!

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Monica     at 10:12 pm

Emily I am so sorry about what you are going though. I have never been in this situation and have no helpful words of wisdom to provide.

You have every right to cry and be angry and I am happy that you have such strong support to help you through this. You will be in my thoughts and prayers as you heal.

Hang in there and know that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, and strength comes from struggle.

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Jae     at 10:13 pm

Emily, I’m so glad that you’re venting to us. It’s healthy :)
I’m so glad that you have that piece of the outside world with you through your window.
I’m so glad that you’re generally a healthy woman.
I’m so glad that you have your husband.
And I’m so glad that you have us, your bloggies :)Even though I dont personally know you (I wouldnt mind though, since I highly admire your lifestyle and from the looks of it, you’re a very nice person!), I’m going to tell you that you’re going to get through it.
My dad went through a car accident where he flipped 180degrees and had to stay in the hospital for about a week. He had some concussions and he had some depressive issues, but he’s the father I know and love to day.
So chin up, youll get through this. I promise.

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kATH     at 10:15 pm

Love you <3

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Nicole     at 10:19 pm

You have every right to feel all of that and MORE! You literally just had a trauma happen to you. Your body has been violated. It would worry a psychiatrist more if you weren’t feeling this way!! Cry it out, be mopey, eat your favorite foods, sleep like crazy, watch trashy tv, love your husband and the puppies. Remember you have a lifetime of health ahead of you–your body has done SO MUCH it can certainly handle this. Find somehing to focus on– schedule PT, read a book, learn to knit–just do something to keep your mind busy. Also know there is no shame in seeing a therapist if you just can’t see a way out. I promise you a good number of the people you know have been helped In a similar way. But above all be happy and feel better :)

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Em     at 10:21 pm

oh emily. im so sorry. this will get better. sending good vibes your way.

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Kristen @ Kristen, Sweetly     at 10:26 pm

I’d say the puppies must know something big is wrong, but you know they’d be right there with you no matter what! I am so sorry it feels like that right now, but it has not been a long time since the accident. You will be upset and down for as long as you need to be, but you’re still a fighter, and eventually, that part’s going to creep back in, and take back over…

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Alayna @ Thyme Bombe     at 10:26 pm

This might sound like crazy advice but, try to enjoy yourself! As soon as you can allow yourself to get over the guilt of not training for a marathon, blogging on a schedule, cooking fabulous meals, or whatever else you’d normally be focused on, maybe you can find the joy in this admittedly crummy situation. There’s joy to be found in any situation if you open yourself up to it.

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Eva     at 10:30 pm

aww take care Emily — you’ve got everyone’s support behind you!

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Sarah K. @ The Pajama Chef     at 10:30 pm

thanks for your honesty! praying for you to find peace & healing now.

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Amber     at 10:37 pm

I have been following your blog for awhile and this is just a little dose of reality for me. Seeing it happen to somebody even if you just follow there blog can put things into perspective. Life does happen. I am so sorry that you are probably going to miss your marathon. I can only imagine how devastating that must feel being a marathon runner myself. I wish you the speediest of recoveries and hope that this doesn’t permanently damage your legs or your sense of pride. Best of luck!

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Beth     at 10:39 pm

Girl, what you described (waking up sweaty, hyperawareness, etc) is textbook Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder [PTSD], and it’s a-ok to be feeling the way you’re feeling. As the name implies, you went through some severe trauma, and are still physically and emotionally recovering. Seeing a therapist who is experienced in treating PTSD can really help you work through emotions and hard times. I wish you all the best and take care. This too shall pass.

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Kathleen     at 10:40 pm

You have been through so much. Your honesty I’m sure has touched many, me included. I was in an accident when I was 25. I ended up having a spinal fusion where they took bone from my hip to fuse two levels. I experienced a lot of your same feelings. Nightmares, anxiety, anger, depression…even though I was grateful to be o.k., I wanted my life back pre-accident. It’s still raw and so new for you, time does help. You are an athlete in amazing shape and that is going to speed up the healing. We are all pulling for you. Take care Emily.

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Kathi A     at 10:41 pm

Emily, I’m so sorry that this happened. Isn’t it crazy how your life was going one way, and suddenly it takes such a sharp turn to now go a completely different direction? To be thrown into such upheaval is infuriating at best! Know that so many love you here on your amazing blog. I am praying for you!

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Lucy     at 10:47 pm

There will be lots of ups and downs, and good days where you think you are past it, and then bad ones again. The hyper-vigilance might last for a while – I was robbed by someone on a bicycle once and for years afterwards I would still jump at someone on the side walk behind me, and need to step out of the way and watch them pass.

You were robbed in a sense, too. And that reaction to cars might last a bit.

Take good care of yourself and heal well.

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Maggie     at 10:51 pm

You will be ok. You will get back to doing the things you used to do. And you might not ever go back to being the person you were before, but you’ll grow and evolve with this situation and your life will be just as great or better as it was before.

I know I don’t know you, but I’ve been a longtime reader (lurker) on your blog and I love your stories and recipes. I think you’re incredibly inspiring and I have no doubt this accident will lead to something inspiring in the future. Although your strength in getting throwing it so far, struggles and all, is pretty inspiring to begin with.

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Pure2raw twins     at 10:58 pm

Thank you for being honest! I have been in two car accidents in my life, and I somewhat understand (I still cannot imagine being hit my a car) about something changing in inside you. Although I did make it through those rough times, and you will too! You do have a great attitude about the situation and you have a great support system!!! I know you will be back and running soon. Let your body heal, take it slow, sending you lots of hugs!!!
xoxo

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Stephanie     at 11:07 pm

Emily,

Your honest words are greatly appreciated, and your honesty in and of itself is such an inspiration. I too have dealt with health problems that have caused lower mobility, and I have wondered in the past if I’d ever feel like myself again. In the end, I did feel like “me” again; it just took time and patience. Why these things happen is a mystery, but I’m sure that you’ll recover from the situation a stronger, if slightly changed person. I’m sending thoughts and prayers to you, and Casey. Your blog is such a wonderful thing, and I’m so happy you’re still here!

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Cati @ crave and create     at 11:38 pm

Emily, reading about your accident has been one more thing in a long string of events, lately, that has me thinking spontaneously, at random times throughout the day, “Thank you, thank you, thank you, for life, for health.”

I cannot imagine how this must be rocking your world right now, and I know it probably doesn’t help, but everything you’re feeling is completely normal, and you have every right to feel the way you do. Your own strength and your wonderful support system will carry you through this, eventually–for now, hang in there, and take your time.

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Amber K     at 11:47 pm

It’s funny, because I am having some similar feelings in regards to my diagnosis of celiac. It was just a week and a half ago, but I definitely feel changed. I simply can’t be the person I was before.

And yeah, I’m angry, upset, and have felt somewhat lost and afraid being outside of my comfort zone in regards to food.

Half the time I feel like a whining loser for still complaining about it, and the other half feeling like I have every right to feel however I do!

I really didn’t mean to make this comment all about me, but I find it funny how we can all have different life experiences and yet recognize similar emotions in others.

May God bless you during this time with comfort and peace!

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Mama Pea     at 11:53 pm

I’m praying for you Em. I know how hard this must be (I was in a similar scenario when I had my back surgery) but I just had to keep reminding myself of all I had to be thankful for, and how so many people live in chronic pain and with permanent disabilities. I’m not taking away from you at all…you have every right to feel like you are, but a little perspective always made me feel better.

Lots of love!
MP

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Dorry     at 11:58 pm

Thinking about you everyday! This post left tears down my cheeks. Your honesty is so appreciated – this is your space to share your life and I think you are just amazing! Truly. As you said, you have every right to feel the emotions and go through this healing process as slowly as need be. We’ll all be here to support you. xo

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Lissa     at 12:04 am

Please remember what a terrific cook you are!!!! I love all your original cooking ideas and if you focus on food, it might help. Be gentle with yourself and allow the body a little time to heal. Our bodies are amazing and with a little help, it will heal. You will be a stronger person when you come out the other side. You have been dealt a nasty blow, it just isn’t fair.

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Sarah     at 12:05 am

Emily, this is a beautifully written post. You have such a kind heart and a lovely spirit. I’m so, so sorry this happened to you. As always, please let me know if you need anything… cookies, a movie buddy, a pup walker if Casey’s busy… even someone just to chat with. Oh, and I know you’ll get your spirit back… it’s just resting so your body can use all the energy you possibly have to heal. Sending a hug.

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Chloe     at 12:14 am

Emily, you are such an inspiration to me and I don’t even know you. Your blog helps gives me that extra nudge that I need sometimes to make healthy choices, and take the time to make my own meals. I hope you heal physicallly and mentally from this experience, and know YOU ARE AWESOME and such an inspiration to so many people who read your blog! sending you healing thoughts : )

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Lauren     at 12:18 am

Your sincere honesty is one of the main reasons why I enjoy reading your blog so much. Hang in there, Emily! You are certainly a fighter, and I am confident that you will get through this and your glistening spirit will return once again.

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Mary     at 12:24 am

Your honesty is appreciated! I can’t begin to imagine what you are feeling–but don’t be hard on yourself. I am sure it is completely overwhelming and devastating.

Earlier this summer, someone tried to break into my house while my husband and I were sleeping. This was over 3 months ago, and I still wake up in the middle of the night and check the door, still wake up in a panic because I think I hear someone.

I feel a loss of safety, a loss of control. I can only imagine that is what you are feeling now–times ten. Give yourself time, and be good to yourself.

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Jayna @ Healthy Living Bites     at 12:30 am

I’m being lazy, and totally not reading through all the comments to see if this has been suggested or not, but definitely talk to a doctor about the nightmares and depression. It is entirely probable that you will have a post traumatic stress type reaction to this, and that needs to be treated just as much as your physical injuries!

As far as finding a silver lining- like you said, before this you were always on the go, always outside, maybe a silver lining is getting to know yourself WITHOUT all the activity. Getting to know who you are on a very base level, not as an athlete, a dog owner, a walker/biker/runner, chef extraordinaire (though that one is easier to get back to) etc, etc. Am I making sense? Am I saying anything or just grasping at straws here?

Injury is hard to deal with mentally. A traumatic experience is hard to deal with mentally. Both combined is like climbing a mountain in flip flops! You are strong though, so even if you can’t yet SEE the mountain’s top (let alone think about getting there) I know you will! Just keep putting one proverbial foot in front of the other!

HUGS!

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Meagan     at 12:36 am

After my car accident I was super jumpy. It does wear off.
I really appreciate your honesty, Em. You’ve had such a good attitude. Keep it up :)

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Lacey Q     at 12:36 am

Hi Emily,

I’m sort of a new reader, and don’t think I have commented before. I love your blog, and your honesty in this post really spoke to me. That’s one of the reasons I love your blog. I wish I had great words of wisdom, but I don’t. I’m thinking about you a lot, and sending good vibes your way. I know you’ll come out of this a stronger person :)

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stepf @dailyspark     at 12:42 am

Emily,
You’ll get there. As I told you the other day, I was in a car accident this summer. I was also in a car accident three years ago. A trailer came unhitched from a truck and rolled backwards down Columbia Parkway. The police had barricaded traffic, and I was the unlucky person to crest the hill with no time to be warned. Actually, the person in front of me had time to back up and out of the way. The police made me put my car in park and just sit there, waiting for it to hit me.
It was a small trailer, and I wasn’t injured too badly (just whiplash), but I had panic attacks for weeks and couldn’t leave home for days.
It was hard, and my boyfriend, Fred, was a rock during that time. I remember that for hours after the accident, I couldn’t stop shaking. He just held me as I cried.
When I returned to work, I still couldn’t drive, and my boss nagged me every day about it. I rushed back, and I had a horrible panic attack while driving in the rain a couple of weeks later. I felt I had to suppress my feelings to be professional, but I ended up harming myself more in the long run.
Take care of yourself, and please cope and process your emotions as needed. There is no timeline. Do what’s necessary to take care of yourself. You’re not being selfish or needy; you’re helping yourself heal. After my accidents, I felt like I was grieving, and I felt all of those emotions. Don’t judge them or sugarcoat them on our behalf. Do what you need to do. Hope this helps.

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Jess @ NZ Girl Runs     at 1:15 am

I’m sorry you are feeling this way! But I think it is normal given what has just happened to you and I think it is good that you have outlets for your feelings (blog, hubby, dogs).

When I broke my ankle and couldn’t walk for 6 weeks it was really tough. I had to rely on people for the simplest things. Couldn’t cook, couldn’t clean, drive, couldn’t even get myself in and out of the bath! Once I started walking again everything fell back into place and I was me again! Hopefully it will be the same for you!

But remember, depression isn’t nice and you don’t have to go through it alone. There are people you can talk to if you need to. Use these people, they are there to help!

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Erin @ Shortcut to Bliss     at 1:31 am

I think sometimes we just need to put those feelings of anger and disappointment out there. What happened to you sucks and it isn’t fair, and it is ok to be pissed. You are a symbol of strength and positivity to all, but not perfection. =) That is my favorite thing about you! You are open to your flaws. None of us is leading a perfect life with no pain or heart ache. It would be silly to pretend we are and down right shameful.

I am amazed at the grace you have presented during this whole situation. Here is hoping things look brighter in the morning!

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Ida     at 1:52 am

I appreciate your honesty. It will get better. the injury will heal, and your nerves will calm. All you can do right now is honor your feelings, and talk about what you’re going through.

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Hillary [Nutrition Nut on the Run]     at 2:13 am

Aww, Em. I’m glad you were able to get this out on ‘paper’. Though life may seem grim at the moment, it WILL get sunny again for you. You WILL run & you WILL be back cooking up a storm very soon. I had a minor accident myself today – had to visit Urgent Care – but when I heard a girl in my major was struck by a drunk driver this weekend and is in the ICU, it really put my situation into perspective. We have a lot to be thankful for. You’re strong. You are :) Take care.

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Melissa     at 2:21 am

Dearest Emily,

Go open your window! I sent you some warm, sunny Aloha from the pacific! I wonder if it has arrived yet….?

While I am not an expert, I do believe with all of my heart that to everything there is a season; and that this too shall pass.

The old Emily isn’t lost… she’s just being refined.. stretched.. worked on a little. And she WILL come back stronger, a little more knowing, and spunkier than ever. It’s just going to take a little time.

Remember: No rain. No rainbows.

Hang in there!

m xx

PS – Am I the only one who wants to find that Tahoe driver and give her a piece of my mind?

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Anna @ Doing Good & Living Well Reply:

No! I’ve been giving Tahoe drivers all over the city an evil eye. I’d love to find her and let her know what’s up… :)

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~Jessica~     at 5:50 am

Your symptoms (panic attacks, flashbacks, constant anxiety) sound very much like PTSD, which can be very debilitating ~ if they continue perhaps you might like to look into seeing a counsellor about it? Just a thought anyway ~ with all that you’ve been through you don’t have to struggle through alone, even though you have the support of your family and friends too.

Thinking of you

~Jess~

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Little Bookworm     at 6:03 am

Thinking of you!

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Wendy Heath     at 6:04 am

My dear- it sounds like you’re having an acute stress reaction… this is not uncommon after some sort of traumatic event. I wouldn’t class it as PTSD yet, as this is just the immediate reaction (PTSD is a condition that lasts for a lengthy period of time).

I would wholeheartedly advocate seeing a counselor to help you process this. Don’t think you have to “tough it out” or that it’s “taking too long” to process this; your mind will heal at its own pace, and denying what you’re feeling and thinking will only hinder the healing process. It’s not a sign of weakness to seek professional help. You are quite right, more than just your knee was hurt- your psyche, your soul, your dreams… all messed to heck right now.

Lots of love to you! I wish I could reach through the ‘netz and fix it all for you! *BIG HUG*

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Kristy     at 7:54 am

Youre right! Not a bad set up at all, mostly b/c of the huge bright window :-)

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Karen     at 7:56 am

I can’t even imagine what a horrible experience this must be for you. I’m so glad you’re ok.

I can totally relate to the depression and frustration of not being able to do what you want to do. I recently sprained my knee and it was so frustrating for me to not be able to do all those things I do on a normal basis… even walking at a normal pace! Don’t worry, you’ll be better before you know it, especially since you’ve taken such good care of your body. Enjoy the extra attention and doting while you can! :D

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Christie - Honoring Health     at 8:01 am

What a beautiful expression of how you are feeling and what you are going through. Being depressed and sad sucks but the only way through it is through it. Good for you for honoring that process and allowing yourself to heal in mind, body and spirit.

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Therese     at 8:04 am

You got hit by a car woman! Take all the time you need! :)

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Kareen     at 8:04 am

Hi Emily,
What a crazy situation! I just admire your strength and honesty through all this. I hope you recover quickly and I am sure you will feel like yourself again soon… you will certainly have been changed by the accident, but life will eventually go back to “normal”!
Hang in there. :)

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Tina @ Faith Fitness Fun     at 8:29 am

Totally normal! And you have every right to feel that way. Accidents do have a way of shaking us to the core. I felt the same way when I was hit by a car 10+ years ago. I felt robbed because I lost any chance of college sports scholarships thanks to the accident. I hated the gloom I felt. Things do turn around, and there are always blessings to see even in the dark, but it still should not shadow allowing yourself to feel. Let out all those emotions. And I hope the days continue to get better for you.

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Sarah @ EatRunGarden     at 8:30 am

Hi Emily. You are amazing!
You went through a really scary situation, I can’t imagine getting hit by a car. I also know how you feel about the marathon, you worked so hard but there will be other races and you will get better.
Just remember when you are feeling sad, that is it okay to cry but also remember that you are strong, you are someone who can run 20 miles with a smile on her face! I am glad you feel you can be honest with your readers I am pretty sure we are all cheering for you. :-)

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eliza     at 8:48 am

all you need is time girl

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Canadian     at 8:52 am

Everything that happens to us changes us. In the long run, hopefully for the better.

There is no shame in seeking a good counsellor/therapist to talk things over with. Maybe it would help you get through it sooner.

Hang in there Emily.

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Hope     at 8:55 am

I hope you feel better soon! :) The emotional after effects of an accident are more intense then the actual accident. I was in a bad car accident almost two years ago. Now it wasn’t my fault or anything but I still get extremely scared driving behind the wheel of a car. I still get flashbacks but it gets easier as time goes by. You can pull yourself through this. It does get easier. It just takes time. Good luck in your recovery. :)

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carole     at 8:55 am

Hey Emily,
Everyone copes in their own way…for you to write down your feelings on your blog is probably some great “therapy”…your feelings are totally normal and try to just BE OK with foregoing the recipes for awhile…your readers still read because we can tell you are a neat person who cares deeply about life…you will be fine. Don’t be afraid to lean on your family, your wonderful husband and NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF PET THERAPY!! Keeping you in my prayers. Carole

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Marcie     at 8:59 am

Hi Emily- I read your blog all the time and I’m so sad that you have to go through this. I went through a big trauma about a year ago and am still dealing with the aftermath. I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and it has been blogs like yours that have helped me get back to feeling “alive” again. I hope you have a swifter recovery than me. You are an inspiration to so many.

Kindest regards from one of your DC neighbors!

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Haley C     at 9:01 am

Hoping that you’ll be better very soon. Keep smiling!! ;)

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Gabrielle @ Weightless     at 9:01 am

Just catching up with your blog, OMG! So sorry to hear about your accident. I wanted to offer my well wishes for your recovery and let you know that I think it’s amazingly brave that you are writing about your feelings this way. Just being honest and getting it all out will help you so much emotionally, I think. Looks like you have lots of love, support and a cozy recovery unit there. Stay strong and keep smiling!

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Erin     at 9:04 am

Hoping for a speedy recovery for you but so thankful that you are able to take all the time you need to get yourself “right” again. I can’t even begin to imagine the thoughts going through your mind so I will just say that I know I am one of MANY people who are thinking of you and wishing you only the best.

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Whitney     at 9:06 am

Prayer is a powerful thing. I will be praying for your recovery! God never gives us more than we can handle!! :)

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Anne     at 9:12 am

Hi Emily,

This is also my first time commenting, but I check your blog every day and you are such an inspiration! Your passion & energy are contagious and your recipes are always bookmarked :).

Although it’s not your style, a change of pace to get lost in a book, find interesting new podcasts or blogs & sleep plenty can be so good for the soul & body! You can even do some fun spa treatments like cucumber/facial masks while you read, or soak your feet in warming yummy smelling oils while you blog- only since it seems like you’d love to be productive even while sofa-bound :).

Wishing you a healthy speedy recovery, and sending you lots of love!

Anne

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Heather     at 9:13 am

Emily,

Unfortunately in life, it is our struggles that make us stronger and appreciate all the wonderful times in our lives. I have no doubt that you will make it through all of this. I know that seems so far away at the moment, but each day you are getting one day closer to moving on from all of this. You are a very strong woman, who works hard and is extremely talented. Just remember that every situation in life changes us, but it is how we deal with it that makes us who we are. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope for a speedy recovery!! We are all routing for you!!

Heather :)

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amanda     at 9:22 am

I posted after your accident and told you that I too had been hit by an SUV several years ago … and because of this I can tell you that you will feel like yourself again. For me, there are some things that did change long-term … for instance, I ALWAYS cross with the lights now (I never j-walk, even when I can clearly see in both directions) and I am an almost too-cautious driver. But I don’t think these are bad things. You have been doing all of the right things – things that, in hindsight, I wish I had done. I’ve been reading your blogs for months and months, though I have only recently begun to comment and I have no doubt that it must be incredibly frustrating for you to have to slow down and not be so active … but it’s important that you give your body and your soul this time to heal. Running isn’t over. Biking isn’t over. Long walks with your husband aren’t over. And if you allow yourself this time to rest and heal I can all but guarantee you that all of these things will be even better when you get back to them. Like you said, you have the right to be pissed off and depressed for a while – so do it. There’s no shame in it. When the time is right to pick yourself up and dust yourself off, you’ll know it and you’ll do it. Until then, just know that HOWEVER you need to deal with this is more than ok, and however long it takes you.

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Jennifer P     at 9:26 am

Wow, you remind me a lot of myself last summer when I was recovering from jaw surgery. You will get back to your ‘old’ self, though you’ll be a new, stronger, you when you get there :) It’s ok to take your time – cry when you want to cry, smile when you want to smile, and just take it one day at a time. Adding some extra B vitamins to your diet, or taking a B complex vitamin, might help lift your spirits a bit, plus it might help speed up the physical healing. Hang in there :)

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Paula     at 9:28 am

Awww, Emily. You are entitled to all those feelings. Embrace them and then you will be able to move on, when you’re ready. And however long that takes, it takes. I hope every day is a little better, until they’re much better. ((hugs))

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Amber@momsgottheruns     at 9:32 am

Hi! I just want to encourage you that things WILL get better. Back in Dec.09 I was pregnant with my first baby and seized at home, was found underwater by my husband, and ended up in the icu on a ventilator for 8 days. quite the traumatic event. like you, i wondered if i would ever be myself again. i was depressed, overwhelmed, and super anxious. my doctor’s told me that i had post traumatic stress, which obviously can go hand in hand with a traumatic event!

10 months later, life is very different. I am forever changed from what happened, but I am back to my normal self (and it didn’t take 10 months)! Give yourself time to grieve. you lost something that is very precious to you! don’t feel weak or ungracious for actually allowing yourself to feel. in fact, i believe it is one of the most important aspects in allowing yourself to heal mentally and emotionally from what happened. you will feel angry and sad, and that’s okay.

i hope this can encourage you at least a little bit. you will be okay!

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Wanda Jacobson     at 9:38 am

Dear Emily,

You really have to give yourself a little credit. You are stronger than you know and being down-and-out is really not a bad thing. If you are going to do something, might as well delve into it 100% and know that you will come out of it again. You will. Promise :)So cry, scream, beat your pillow until you are exhausted from your frustration.

Accidents are sometimes reminders to slow down and let those who love you take care of you a bit. It’s good for all parties, really. You don’t always have to be so strong you know. Besides, with all that you do, the accident may be a reminder to enjoy the most basic things in life. Your breath, your movement, learning how to regain your peace of mind. It’s a different challenge you may have to face so take it in stride and left your head up high! You can do it!!!

Wishing you strength and courage to rise above, after you beat that pillow til the feathers come out!

Wanda Jacobson

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Colleen     at 9:47 am

I’m sorry you’re feeling down, Emily. I hope today is a cheerful day :) It will take a little while but you’ll get back to feeling like yourself again. Give yourself a little time.

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Heidi - Apples Under My Bed     at 9:56 am

I have only just caught up with this awful event, Emily! How horrible! You are totally allowed to feel this way. Feel it. Its ok, it will get better. I can totally relate. Sending you lots of get well vibes. Drink lots of tea – the best medicine :)
Heidi xo

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Chrissy (The New Me)     at 9:58 am

It’s totally okay to cry and feel depressed. No one blames you, and if you don’t let it all out now it will just fester later. Trust me on this! So wallow all you want, and know that even if you aren’t the “same” ever again, the new person who comes out of the accident will be a better, stronger, braver version of that old self. I promise.

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Sarena (The Non Dairy Queen)     at 10:00 am

Emily, I feel so bad for you right now. I know how physically frustrating things like this can be and how overwhelming it can be to be knocked down so low. Please know that I am thinking about you and I know you can pull through this. You are a strong woman and you have to stay positive. Trust me on this. I have been knocked down pretty low myself before (a couple of times) and when you have a great support system (like you do) it is possible to get back up again. Keep your chin up sweetie!

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Deirdre     at 10:06 am

You are such a strong person. I know these days aren’t good but it can only get better. You are so lucky to have Casey. They say you don’t really know how strong a partner you have until you are really down and obviously you’ve seen what a great guy you have. You have every right be upset and angry. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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Melissa     at 10:16 am

Emily, I think you get credit for even considering whether or not you’re handling this gracefully. There is no guidebook on how to recover after having your life completely uprooted in a split second. Sometimes, all you get is just a little courage and a little resilience, and you’ve got both — no matter how bad it feels now, or how shaky you are. You’ll make it through this.

I had to drop out of a marathon once due to an injury. Nothing like yours, but nevertheless, I couldn’t do the race. It definitely 100% sucks. But, it only makes returning to running that much sweeter. You’ll get there!

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Paige     at 10:16 am

Don’t feel bad for feeling this way! You are probably super traumatized from all that has happened and you weren’t able to deal with it over the weekend. Just give it some time and you’ll be feeling better. Think of this as some time off for you to rest and do the things that you’re usually too busy to do! As for being paranoid and a little skittish around cars, just think – you made it how many years without this happening? You’ll have at least that many more years before it could happen again. :) Hope you feel better soon!

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Beth @ DiningAndDishing     at 10:18 am

You are so right – for a time, you are 100% allowed to feel exactly how you need to feel about the accident. There’s no need to feel bad for feeling bad. Anyone would! Hang in there, rest up and take all the time you need to recover physically and emotionally :).

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Natalia - a side of simple     at 10:32 am

I’m praying for you, Emily. This will only make you stronger, I know it. Have faith :)

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Molly     at 10:33 am

I think you are allowed to take a few days/weeks/whatever to relax. You went through a really traumatic experience, to say the least.

As far as the marathon goes – you spent months training, so a few days in mourning are only appropriate! Take a few days to rest, cry, whatever you need to do and then when you feel ready get back up and put your life right back where it used to be!
Feel better soon!

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Laura Coste     at 10:35 am

I’ve been a lurker for a while. When I saw this I thought some of the inspiration would help… (Motivational quotes for injured athletes blog post): http://amyreinink.com/2010/03/10/motivational-quotes-for-injured-athletes/

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Beverly     at 10:36 am

Emily,

I was thinking about you saying you don’t understand what you are suppose to learn from this but ultimately I think this will take you so far. The understanding you will learn from this experience will help you connect to a wider audience. Adapting your lifestyle to those who have obstacles, etc…
I hate this for you but you are such a role model and I know you will find the biggest and best silver lining. You do deserve to be depressed and knowing that you are is half the battle. Thanks for sharing and your honesty. You are in my thoughts.

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Diana     at 11:01 am

Wow, the comments on this post are so great!

Hello from Orlando :)

Believe me, it’s totally understandable what you are going through. I was in a car accident last august and my right foot had tendons torn and a bunch of fractured bones. I couldn’t put any weight on it for 4 months and was stuck in my room, in my bed. Not to mention I live in the country outside of Orlando so trying to go out and do things was so frustrating. My friends had to drive 30 minutes here and 30 minutes back or they had to wait for me to get a ride from my parents (which was awful, I felt 12.)

Nothing was as bad, though, as just sitting there at home. It’s so frustrating. I had been in the very, very beginning stages of training for a marathon and this happened. And I still can’t run. And I’m still not walking correctly. It’s unbelievably frustrating. The entire right side of my body is messed up because of it.

It does get easier, I will tell you that. Just take advantage of the fact that you are able to sit and rest and give yourself what your body needs. You’re so inspiring and wonderful and your spirit will come back to you. Sometimes you just have to let your heart break (and cry and wallow ;) ) before it can. :)

<3

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Sarah     at 11:08 am

a very close friend of mine got hit by a car a year and a half ago and was in a coma for about 3 days and the hospital for a month. this happened in in the beinging of april and by the end of may she was back at work. it is truely amazing what the body can do and i am sure you are going to recover and be back you! it sounds like you are surrounded by love and people who care for you which will help so much! i know it is hard to see how everything will be ok…being injured is so frustrating. i hope you start to feel like yourself again soon!!

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Carrie     at 11:15 am

I can totally relate to that feeling of losing yourself after a traumatic event…please know that you WILL come back from this a newer, stronger you. We will all be cheering you on towards a speedy recovery!! xoxo.

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Orla     at 11:22 am

Sending you good wishes in your recovery.
You need to work through the pain (physical and otherwise) day by day – and as YOU can – no one else can tell you how to do this. And there is no textbook to say that once the physical pain is gone, everything else will be fine.
I had a car accident a number of years ago and still I am seriously cautious about driving and certain situations. And it will be tough. But you know what? It does get easier. One morning you will wake up and when the physical pain is gone, you will not think about the accident first thing.

And it will get easier each day.
I am so sorry this happened you.
:)
PS – You looked stunning at the wedding – bandage and all!!! :)

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reader     at 11:23 am

wow, how many more entries are you going to write whining about this? do you even have any real injuries besides abrasions and cuts? did you break any bones? tear any ligaments? did you get a head injury of any kind? no. definitely going to have to stop reading your blog if this is all we can expect for the next few weeks. we don’t need a play by play of your accident and pictures of you on crutches every day.

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JLH Reply:

i’m sorry you are such an unhappy person.

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Meghan Reply:

Seriously! I pity the person who can look at someone in pain and be cruel to them. Pretty sad.

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stepf Reply:

If you don’t like it, reader, then STOP READING. Be nice.

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Snood Reply:

Oh hey, reader. I am sure Em does not condone my behavior, but I am going to hunt you down and give you some abraisons and cuts of your own. But don’t worry, you won’t have any “real injuries”. Other than your debilitating a-hole-ishness.

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Anna @ Doing Good & Living Well Reply:

Dear “reader” – If this is how you feel and think you need to voice it, maybe you shouldn’t read anymore. Kindly leave Emily alone.

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Mom Reply:

Reader,
I don’t know what your problem is but as Emily’s mother I can tell you she is anything BUT a whiner or complainer! In fact, all I wanted her to do last weekend after she was hit was lie down and rest but she rallied and put on her best smile and was there completely for Kirt & Katie at their wedding-including walking down the aisle without her crutches so she wouldn’t ruin the wedding pictures! If you have been actually been reading Emily’s blog for a while, you will know that she is an extremely upbeat & positive person.
Personally, I think you need to keep your negative and nasty comments to yourself!

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Lindsay @ The Ketchup Diaries Reply:

I would just like to say that as much as I love Emily, I think I love “Mom” even more. You’re awesome!! :)

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April @ Crazy Fabulous Life Reply:

You rock, Mom!

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jessica Reply:

reader – you’re pathetic. I would never wish you to get hit by a car but I’d imagine you wouldn’t get over it the next day, week, or month.

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Wanda Reply:

take it easy…you might pull a nerve..

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Meghan     at 11:29 am

Hi Emily
From your blog I can tell how resilient you have been your whole life as you faced various challenges. Remember how resilient you are! You will come out from this and be happy again! Thanks for sharing your feelings!

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Jessica     at 11:30 am

I have only been reading your blog for a few weeks Emily, but I wanted you to know that I am thinking about you on your road to recovery. I was in a car accident a few years ago and broke my ankle; and while the physical pain was unbearable the emotional scaring took some real time to deal with and move on from. Take this time to heal and take care of yourself. Hang in there.
Btw, I live in Alexandria as well, let me know if you need anything:)

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Katie @ The Boston Marathoner     at 11:42 am

Hang in there, Emily! You are doing an amazing job. Arrested Development is always a great show for being cheered up..

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Jodi     at 11:46 am

awe, Emily… I’m so sorry this happened to you. I think everything you’re feeling is very normal and will most certainly pass. Just let yourself cry when you need to and get it all out. eventually, what you’re feeling will evolve into action again. now is not that time. remember that everything happens for a reason. nothing crawled into you and stole your soul. your soul simply found a roadblock and now needs time to re-route a bit. great changes and great epiphanies can come out of tragedies. simply cry, sit back, rest, take care of yourself, and wait for your soul to catch up! it most certainly will. and who knows what may come of all this. Stay strong! sending lots of love and healing your way….

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CathyK     at 11:56 am

hi emily! i know you’ve received a ton of emails/tweets/comments in support of your rough situation…well, one more can’t hurt, right?! i just wanted to say i’m thinking of you and to hang in there. what happened to you IS unfair, so allow yourself to go through a grieving process. even though it doesn’t seem like it now, this, too, shall pass. xoxo cathy

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Corey - The Runner's Cookie     at 11:57 am

Sending lots of positive thoughts of strength and healing your way <3

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Julie @ Peanut Butter Fingers     at 11:58 am

my heart hurts for you! i know this accident has really flipped your life upside down. you will get through this! at least you have some adorable furry friends to keep you company. :) much love your way…

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sara     at 11:58 am

Sorry, have to laugh/comment here although I comment about twice a year on blogs :)

“Reader”, I wish you the best of luck seeking (negative) attention elsewhere. If you don’t want to read her blog, don’t read it. I am confused as to why she wouldn’t have the right to be devastated and traumatized regardless (hi, quick recap, she was hit by an SUV…), but this was even further compounded by the fact that she has poured hours and weeks into training for a marathon. I am currently training for a marathon and I literally have been looking 100 times before crossing the street in NYC because of Emily’s terrible misfortune. I couldn’t imagine after weeks and weeks of training to be sidelined for the marathon. It’s KIND OF A BIG DEAL.

So finally, get a grip and find a new sunshine and roses blog to read. Since Emily tends to post pictures of herself, it might be hard for her to post pictures of her not on crutches, since she IS? Moreover, I hope nothing bad ever happens in your life “reader”, because surely no one would want to listen to anyone talk about anything difficult in their life unless they broke a bone or tore a ligament, right?
Sara

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Annie@stronghealthyfit     at 12:02 pm

Thank you so much for being honest about this experience, Emily. So many bloggers appear to live in a perfect world, and we all know that no one does, so thanks for showing us the real struggles you are going through. I’ll be thinking about you and hoping you heal quickly.

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Carly     at 12:07 pm

Hi Emily,
I haven’t ever commented on your blog but wanted to send extra positive energy your way. Please know that your posts about your accident have made me SO much more cautious when out running (and walking). I definitely used to just walk when I had the walk signal but now I’m double and triple checking for cars zipping around turns. I’m actually in the Arlington/Alexandria area too :)
Get well soon!!

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HJU     at 12:18 pm

Emily- hang in there!! ‘Reader’ (who of course is leaves a rude comment but not a real name-lol) obviously feels pretty down about herself, to need to lash out at someone like you who is obviously hurting!! And shockingly lacks insight regarding trauma and recovery, which is kind of scary to read. You’d think most people would be able to sympathize, if not empathize. So i’d chalk it up to a very insecure person, dragging (anonymously, nonetheless) someone else down to feel better. Sad.

Those of us who love your blog and have gotten to ‘know’ you are happy to see your progress, and hear your reality. I can only speak for myself, but I am glad you have shared honestly with your loyal readers who DO care. Also, many of us are ‘outdoors people’ who definitely benefit from the reality check that things like you have experienced really happen.

Finally, how lucky you are to have Casey! Wonderful that he is supporting you through the processing! Do what ever you need to work through it, be it writing, resting, even therapy- all good stuff. Your experience is not a small thing. Despite not incurring life threatening injuries you were in a life threatening situation which is certainly trauma.

Hollie

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Wanda Reply:

Hear hear!

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Laura     at 12:20 pm

Hi Emily,
I only just discovered and started reading your blog a couple of weeks ago – literally just before this accident. I just want you to know that I’ve been thinking of you and I’m touched by your honesty in your posts about the accident.

While I live in a very small WI town, it is a college town and we have had a few students over the last couple of years be hit by cars. One student, a student in a wheelchair, was killed. I am always vigilant as I’m out walking or running, but I almost got hit yesterday morning by a car making a left-hand turn that they didn’t even bother to stop for. I immediately thought about you and your situation – it was very scary.

I am so glad that you made it through the accident and are on the road to recovery. I will continue to send good thoughts your way and to read your journey through this.

Get well soon!

P.S. I am a little jealous that you get to spend your days with your dogs by your side. I have two that I would LOVE to spend my days with. They will help get you through this :)

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Sarah     at 12:21 pm

Hi Emily -
Has the driver who hit you been charged? Sorry for overstepping, but I think it might be an important part of your healing. We all need closure so we can move past it.

I have nothing but the greatest respect and empathy for what you are experiencing. Sounds like you have a fantastic support system and great friends to help you through this.

And you WILL run that marathon next year!!! oxoxo

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Jaime     at 12:32 pm

Like you said, and so many people have said, it’s really important to let yourself feel this for now. There will come a time to push yourself, but that time hasn’t come yet.

I’ve had seizures and other health episodes the past eight years, and from my personal experience with that, I can tell you that it’s easy to get “stuck” feeling like you’re incapable, weak, depressed, hopeless, and so on.

You may never be the same as before, but you may become an even stronger, more compassionate, more appreciative, more self-aware, and more determined person. The lessons are what you can focus on, when you’re ready for that. It takes time.

For now – keep on doing what you’re doing. You’ve handled this with more dignity (and honesty) than anyone else I’ve known to endure something like this.

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Jen     at 12:38 pm

I agree with some comments above. Maybe this is an opportunity to do different things. (crafty stuff, watch movies or tv – True Blood, Weeds, Big Love are some of my favorites!)

You will decide how long it takes you and it will be something that will always be a part of you now. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t pull out of it later having learned something new. Also, the situation does just plain old SUCK. But you seem like a strong enough person. I believe you will physically heal and be able to come out of this stronger.

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Rachel @ FitFunandFabulous     at 12:45 pm

I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I don’t remember if my hit and run accident left such emotional damage to me because I was so young and maybe didn’t understand what it all meant. But to this day I still have a fear of walking in parking lots where a driver will reverse out of their space and not see me. And my accident happened 12 years ago.

But it sounds like you are doing the best you can and have a lot of emotional support from furry friends, family and human friends. I hope you feel better and more like “you” soon.

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Jenn from Much to My Delight     at 12:53 pm

Between the two of us, my boyfriend and I have had three surgeries on our feet/ankles in the last two years. I can totally identify with feeling depressed while laid up, especially since you’re such an active person. Take comfort in the fact that you have a loving partner who is there to help you through the recovery process. It makes a huge difference!

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Jillian@ Reshape Your Life     at 12:54 pm

Oh Emily!!! I am so sorry you are feeling down. But know that it is normal and it too shall pass. You will get back to being “you” again, but you need to let yourself grieve and heal. You went through a HUGE trauma, not just physically but emotionally. I can’t even believe you have held up that way you have, you are truly an inspiration!

I am sending positive thoughts your way. And hope you have a quick recovery (physically AND emotionally!)

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KellyC     at 12:55 pm

We love you! You are not alone. Many prayers are going up on your behalf.

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Nicole @ yuppie yogini     at 1:01 pm

Oh Emily. I know others have said you are describing symptoms of PTSD and I agree. I’m a therapist and have had many client’s coming to cope with traumatic events. On one hand, it may pass on its own especially since you do have great support. On the other hand, the longer you wait the harder it might get to cope. It’s possible that you can have therapy covered by the ladies insurance…..not sure. Hope you heal fast. :)

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Renee     at 1:06 pm

Gosh Emily…it’s not even been a week…give yourself a break, it’s okay to feel bad.

To put it in perspective, I had knee surgery a few years ago…I wasn’t even hit by an SUV and I felt like I was 90 years old for a week. I can remember just getting up to go to the bathroom was a major chore!

Also, flying and all the wedding activity probably made the swelling and pain worse.

Hang in there, you’ll get better. :=)

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Janetha G - meals & moves     at 1:39 pm

I don’t know about you, but my favorite thing about being sick or injured (as if there is a favorite thing about that? Oxymoron…) is the way my dogs treat me. They KNOW you are feeling bad and are just extra sweet and cuddley! Second favorite thing has to be all the ice cream I manage to eat ;)

I am really sorry you are having to deal with this! Accidents and injuries are definitely hard mentally. I was laid up on a couch for 6 weeks and it really messed with my head. I think your honesty and ability to talk about your feelings will really help you get through it. Here’s to a speedy recovery! xo

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marie     at 1:42 pm

((hugs))

I am so, so sorry to hear that you are having such an (understandably!) rough time, but it strikes me as normal. Honestly, it would seem rather odd if you didn’t have this time of reflection/readjustment/blues. However, I’m certain that the knowledge that what you’re going through is typical doesn’t make it any easier to bear. I wish I could offer some words of wisdom to make it all go away, but I can’t. I’m afraid that your current feelings are simply one more part of the (painful!) healing process.

What I can do is assure you that I am sending prayers and positive karma from down here in Louisiana. I would like to also take this chance to thank you so much for taking the time to put together such a stellar blog. I love your recipes, and you introduced me to the joy that is the rice cooker. You are also one of the bloggers who inspired me to start the couch to 5k program a couple of weeks ago. It strikes me as just so unfair that this would happen to someone who has given so much to so many!!

If you were closer to me, I’d offer to bring you a meal (I’m southern, so my first thought when people are having rough times is to offer food!), but I’m afraid that’s not an option. All I can offer is my continued good wishes. So, in closing, please know that you do strike me as handling this whole thing with more grace and good humor than most would and that I am confident that you will come through it with a smile on your face (see umbrella pic above!!) and, eventually, a spring in your step. :-)

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Chase     at 1:57 pm

If you need a sous chef to help prep stuff for a post, you let me know and I’ll hop on over to Alexandria. I can’t promise my knife skills are up to your standard, but I’m here for ya =) In the meantime, take as much time as you need to process everything. Feel free to wallow as long as you like.

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Dani @ Dani Does It     at 2:14 pm

I realize I’m a little late but… OMG! I’m so sorry this happened to you and I hope you feel better soon!! Driving in the rain is so dangerous and people don’t realize it. The other day I saw a car enter the expressway in the rain at rush hour and swerve across three lanes and turn his car 3/4 of the way around and nobody hit him! I was right behind and was JUST able to stop. He was so lucky!!

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Irina     at 2:14 pm

Emily, hang in there, it will be better!!! Give yourself some time (you will know when you are back) to grieve and process what happened and then you will be able to let it go. I promise you that you will heal!!!

In the interim, catch up on all the movies you were too busy to watch, and this time without any guilt :) Another good occupational therapy is going through your old receipts, files, etc and throwing things out… nothing makes a girl feel better like throwing out old credit card statements (just kidding)…

My mother was in a head on collision with a trailer once and it took her a little while to recover, but our minds are resilient and given a chance to process they do bounce back, and now she will fight you for the front seat because she wants to see EVERYTHING… it can be quite annoying, really :)

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Lindsay @ The Ketchup Diaries     at 2:17 pm

I love you and that’s all I will say. Sometimes, the simplest of words are best :smile: Still praying for you…

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Sarah-Mae @ Eat, Run, Knit     at 2:32 pm

Ditto all that you wrote.
Last weekend I ran the Goodlife Fitness Victoria Marathon in 3:25:34, only to suffer incredibly pain in my right hip immediately after crossing the finish line.

I have been on crutches for the past two week and unable to bear ANY weight on my right leg. Physio three times a week and a doctors appointment once a week (thanks military). So frustrating.

One day you’re running a marathon, the next day you are trying to figure out how to step into the shower without pain shooting through your body. I can’t say I’m dealing with it very well either, I want to walk, to hike, to bike, and most of all… to run. I want my life back.

Bright side? My boyfriend is returning from his deployment on SATURDAY (he’s been gone since June, straight through all my training, the marathon, and the past week and half of my injury) and I cannot wait to have him physically back in my life to provide as much support as Casey clearly has for you.

<3 Emily, I hope you smile today! It's most important I find, to remind yourself that this is temporary, it may suck horribly, but there will be more finish lines to cross and hopefully the pain will be a distant memory.

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Stacy     at 2:38 pm

I know I’m not saying anything that hasn’t been said before, but I’ll say it anyway :)
Let yourself run the gamut of emotions and don’t feel bad about it. Try to relax your mind and body and focus on healing both. Sounds like you are supported by a great family, friends, husband, dogs, and of course, the people who read your blog every day. You’ll get through this, and it’s ok to feel the way you feel!

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dan     at 2:51 pm

OMG. i cant believe this. i am so sorry to hear. is everything ok now? i hope so and i wish you to a speedy recovery. i think i had a taste of your medicine uh about 11 weeks ago and i know how hard it is to sit in the chair all day long. miss you and good luck. im praying for you!

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erica     at 3:17 pm

i’ve been lurking for a bit, but i just have to say i think you are a very strong person to have gone through all of that AND go through w/all that wedding stuff–including walking down the aisle w/out crutches or help. i don’t know if i could’ve done that. i’m a wimp when it comes to pain!

sending you my prayers and positive vibes!

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natalie (the sweets life)     at 3:39 pm

and to think last night I was in tears because I’m not recovering quickly enough from the Chicago Marathon…thank you for putting that in perspective! I feel horrible for you and you are absolutely allowed to be upset about it–yay for fabulous husbands right? I do hope you’re feeling better soon–physically and emotionally, and I give you credit for sharing your true feelings with your readers! Makes you all the more likable! :)

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Lauren     at 3:54 pm

Aww, I’m so sorry! It sounds like you are suffering a little from maybe a mild case of post-traumatic disorder. Have you thought about going to see a therapist? They might help. It can feel a little weird and first, but I know they would be able to help, especially if you find one that specializes in PTSD. Thinking of you :) Maybe try to watch happy/funny shows like ‘The Office’ or ‘Glee’ to cheer you up a little/distract you. :)

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Anne P     at 4:06 pm

Thinking of you, my dear. Happy thoughts for a speedy recovery and quick return to running :) xoxox

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Ingunn     at 4:14 pm

I think you are dealing with this amazingly well. All your feelings are perfectly natural and justified. The good news is that a healthy, athletic body like yours heals so fast. You’ll be back out there in no time.

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shorty     at 4:15 pm

When my Grandmother died in June I felt so different too. I was soooo sure I would never be the same again. I know how hard emotions can be but hang in there. It might take awhile but at least you are allowing yourself to just be. I will continue to pray for you:) You are a wonderfully beautiful lady who will only be better on the other side:) To the other side we go!!!
Sarah

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Erica Dickson     at 4:17 pm

Getting hit by a car while walking/running someplace is seriously one of my biggest fears. I can’t believe this happened to you! I’m so sorry! You’re definitely in my thoughts and prayers.

And you absolutely have a right to be pissed off. I know I would be, especially while training for the marine corp marathon. You’ve worked so hard and you’re amazing.

Wallow all you want for as long as you need to. Just remember that it does get better and you will get to run that marathon one day.

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Ashley     at 9:06 pm

<3 you girlie!! xo

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jessica     at 9:17 pm

Emotions can definitely be just as hard, or harder, to deal with than the physical aspects of an accident. I wish you the speediest recovery. Keep your head up!

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Dee     at 11:30 pm

{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}

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Amykinz (Foodie4Healing)     at 12:35 am

You are amazingly strong. I admire you. You ARE allowed to feel sad and angry and depressed. Your whole world just changed. Thank you for being real. Hugs!

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Madelyn     at 10:58 am

I’m just now getting caught up on reading… I think that you are simply amazing. You are still trying to find the positive and the silver lining, and still searching every day for the good coming out of this, and that’s not an easy thing. Not a lot of people have the same drive and determination you do. It will take time, but hopefully you’ll feel back to a new and better normal. And we’re all here supporting you. Would you care for a visitor this weekend? I’d love to stop by and say hello if you’re feeling up to it. HUGE HUGS!!!

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Jenny     at 11:01 am

I am praying for you! I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. looks like your pup is good company though : )

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Rachel     at 2:42 pm

I’m so sorry about what happened to you. Getting hit by a car is truly horrifying. I hope you heel fast and that the depression passes. I have a friend that was hit by a car, in the cross walk, I think maybe 2 years ago? Much worse though, she was ok, but had to live in the hospital for a while and then was in physical therapy for a long time after that….and then my other friend was hit by the light rail train. She was luckily ok too. Again both could have been worse, but still I know its a horrible thing to have happen to you. I hope you heal fast and start to feel more yourself soon.

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Karen     at 11:34 am

Thank you so much for your honesty. The mental challenges are really so daunting, and just because they’re not visible doesn’t diminish the size of the wounds.

You have been so generous in your support of others, and it’s our turn to support you now. Take good care of yourself and remember that lasting recovery takes time. You are an inspiration – take whatever time and space you need for You. Warmest wishes, Karen of Canada

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Emily @ The Front Burner Blog Reply:

Thanks Karen! :)

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Aggie     at 1:48 pm

:( I hope you are doing ok.

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Gabrielle     at 8:34 am

This post is so sad, but so totally understandable, and I get angry reading it, that this woman took something from you, your newfound joy of being able to walk everywhere. This may not be the time for it, but have you confronted her for some sort of compensation? I hope at the very least her insurance is paying for all your medical bills and the Percocet you can’t take because it makes you sick. Lawsuits are ugly, but I feel like at the very least you need to be compensated monetarily for this suffering you are now experiencing. There was a person at fault for all of this, and it is not you.

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Emily @ The Front Burner Blog Reply:

Thanks Gabrielle! I am frustrated too. We’re definitely exploring all of our options.

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crystal     at 10:48 pm

your strength is unbelieve!!!! Stay strong! You’ll be good as new in no time

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Cindy Robinson     at 2:14 pm

Awe, I wish I could give you a big hug. I’ve been thinking about you alot and wanted to let you know that you have helped me become a healthier person. I’m even considering quitting drinking. I’m making better food choices, and started running. Although I’ve never been physically hurt like you, I’ve been struggling mentally for about a year or so now. So, big hugs, and get well wishes from the Sunshine State :)

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Emily @ The Front Burner Blog Reply:

Thanks Cindy – that means a lot. :)

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Kelly     at 5:42 pm

I have worked in the mental health field for many years and it sounds as though you are experiencing the effects of trauma. I strongly encourage you to go talk to a professional, even if just for a short time. You will be amazed at how they can help.

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2010: A Year In Review | Daily Garnish     at 10:56 am

[...] I was hit by a car while crossing the street, which left me with a really banged up knee, and some pretty fragile emotions.  Even so, I headed to Ohio to be a bridesmaid for my new sister in law just two days after [...]

Run For Your Life. | Daily Garnish     at 4:36 pm

[...] Friday marked exactly three months since I was hit by a car.  In the weeks that came after that, I struggled a lot with depression and the emotional damage caused by the accident.  In a [...]

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