about me

    Emily Malone

    culinary arts grad. nutrition facts lover. vegetarian chef. marathon runner. country music maniac. failed dog trainer. barre fanatic. loving mama.

    Contact Emily

    For general inquires, contact: EmilyBMalone@gmail.com.

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    Looking forward to chatting with you!


    What’s Cooking?

    Personal Bests

    5K - 23:28

    10K - 52:35

    15K - 1:38:14

    1/2 Marathon - 1:57:39

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    A Look Back.

Dog Days.

Last week’s post about my chewed up Vitamix prompted a lot of comments about various things our dogs (and other pets) have destroyed.  It got me thinking about all of the many, MANY things that have ended up in the bellies of these two (thankfully invincible) dogs.

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No matter what they do, they always come back with looks of sincere apology, that somehow ends in temporary memory loss of whatever damage has occurred.

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Where do I even begin…?

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In younger puppy days, they have BOTH individually eaten two different couches.  Yes, entire couches – destroyed.

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When Huey was still a pup, he managed to rip up and eat a stairwell of Berber carpet which then kinked itself around all of his internal organs.  Thousands and thousands of dollars and two surgeries later (see the scar?), he miraculously came back from a 10% chance of survival.

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Last year they got new beds on Christmas day.  Less than 12 hours later I discovered a room full of fluff, and scraps of lambs wool bedding.  The days are numbered on their current beds…

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Sooooooo many countless shoes, and only a few remain to actually photograph.  The rest are long gone in a landfill.

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Some things have not been so easy to replace…

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And other things have been very expensive…

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(For the record he has actually eaten TWO cameras!)

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And then there are the things that should be worn through use and love, but not doggie chew marks.

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I bought this rug last week.  Sometimes I think that they are actually laughing at me.

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But other times have not been so funny.  Like the time that Huey ate an entire tub of cocoa powder and had to spend the night at the emergency vet.

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Or last fall when both dogs nearly died of simultaneous salmonella poisoning from the turtles in our backyard.

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And it’s times like those that always remind me that despite the chewed up shoes and cameras, and the fact that they are probably the world’s most expensive dogs…

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Our home would feel so empty without them.

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What are your craziest pet stories?

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199 Comments so far
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Juli D.     at 11:32 am

Thank goodness for crating otherwise my list would be even more massive. The best stories: eating our 30 gig iPod right before we left to go watch the movie “Marley and Me” and eating a bag of powdered sugar – my husband came downstairs to a white living room and white dog with a peice of plastic in the corner of his mouth – but Toby of course gave him the I’m-innocent-and-didn’t-do-anything-look-how-big-and-sweet-my-eyes-are look.


Kristy     at 12:49 pm

Oh I feel your pain with all things chewed! They are so cute, though!! :)


Claire     at 1:07 pm

I have a two year old cat and in those two years he has:
*opened the fridge and eaten his way through the contents of the fridge

*he eats chewing gum with the packets

*has destroyed 5 pairs of headphones including one very expensive Bose pair

*he has chewed more holes in sweaters and cardigans than I can count

*he shreds toilet paper and kitchen towel roll

*shreds tampons – he must think they’re mice!

*anything on the kitchen counter tops gets eaten – bags of peppercorns, a candle, pasta, cookies, bread etc.

He is a nightmare but he is also so damn cute!


Erika MC     at 1:11 pm

Oh dogs – what can ya say?! We have two 6-lb Chihuahuas. Together they have eaten many things – shoes, pillows, bedding, toys, etc. The worst was when one of them ate a $100 bill. We ended up pouring salt down his mouth so he would puke it up, which he did but it came up in small pieces. We were able to get the serial number though and took it to the bank and they replaced it. I will add that the $100 bill was sitting next to a pile of $1 bills and he didn’t touch those!


Lauren Reply:

this had me laughing me out loud at my desk – too too funny.


angie     at 2:02 pm

I thought it was only me that had “bad” dogs! I don’t feel so alone now! Between my two dogs and one cat… all plants that we ( me and my hubby) have bought have been destroyed. One dog ate threw a tin box to eat all the coco that was in it! The other dog ate two different couches! We use to have an old frig that one of the dogs when how to open and we would come home to find the frig door open and all the food on the bottom shelves eaten!


Lauren     at 2:33 pm

i think i read this whole post with my jaw dropped. our dog is a mini dach and she’s super well behaved (a blessing).

but when we had three ginormous dogs in california… they used to catch rattle snakes in the yard and bring them INTO THE HOUSE AND DROP THEM ON THE BED WHILE WE SLEPT. i kid you not. between the three of them, they killed about 10 of our neighbor’s homing pigeons, 20 rabbits, 100 lizards – and one ate a bag of hershey’s kisses hidden away on the top shelf of a six foot pantry. still to this day, no idea how he did it. and sometimes i’d come home in the middle of the day for lunch and catch them all swimming in the pool. big dogs are hilarious, always.


Jessica M     at 2:38 pm

Wow, I want a dog but we can’t do any damage to our house (we live in military housing).

What’s funny is my cat chewed up the cover of one of my NEW books the other day! I didn’t know cats liked to chew- mine chews anything plastic, clothes, blankets, tablecloths.


Mer     at 10:58 pm

Holy cow. (dog?) Where do you start with the stories? Our dog growing up ate everything. Two pairs of my glasses, trash ALL the time, an entire batch of brownies left cooling on the porch table while we were out, underwear was a favorite, (never homework, strangely,) an entire king-sized comforter – while she was locked in a crate, etc. She would steal and bury whole loaves of bread in potted house plants and under pillows in bed. But never toys. Current dog (their time ever-so-briefly overlapped) destroys toys of all types, and anything with stuffing, but thankfully has never touched a shoe or piece of furniture. We miss old dog, especially the overlap time when new dog would catch a ride on poor old dog’s tail, but new dog is much more hassle-free, and we hope to have him at least as long as her (17 years). Man, I’m getting a little teary.


Mer     at 11:01 pm

Oh, PS did I mention that old dog also caused a car accident with her constant tearing out of ANY cracked open door and roaming (after dog runs, electric fence, and walks) and still ate crazy things and got into trouble with 3 casted legs? (Beagle. Geez.) At least then we could hear her clomping around and catch her most of the time.


Meghan     at 2:13 pm

I am so glad to hear someone else loves their dogs as much as we do! Our one has cost over $10,000 for surgeries for eating things. He has the matching scar to your pup. We now have him trained for 1 toy (a blue kong) but we will find beer caps, plastic pieces and other random things chewed in his crate.


annie     at 3:08 pm

this has got to be one of the sweetest posts i have ever read.


Katherine     at 3:47 pm

My dog is a pug so he doesn’t have too much mouth to chew with, but on the flip side of that I have a rabbit with a taste for electrical cords. How he hasn’t gotten electrocuted yet I don’t know.


Orla     at 5:46 pm

I love the last picture – that is what my hound does every day when I come home from work – except he stands on top of the chair we have there, and I see it from the outside.
Thankfully, my dog hasn’t eaten anything belonging to me but did get hold of my boyfriends glasses and he destroyed them.
He only chews if he gets bored or too energetic. Thankfully he was pretty much out of his chewing puppy stage when we got him as a rescue dog.
We did name him after a national tv journalist though so maybe we are lucky he hasn’t chewed more!


Chelsie Varga     at 3:02 pm

I just found your blog today via foodbuzz and don’t have a pet story, but I happened to notice Alton Brown’s cookbook on your shelf. I just blogged about my love for him on my blog yesterday. This year I am embarking on becoming a health counselor through the Integrative Institute of Nutrition (check it out) and am quickly falling in love with your blog. It’s nice to see someone in the blogging community that is not married with children already. I’m sure there are more out there, but it’s nice to find someone my own age.


Natalia     at 9:39 pm

I love that your dogs look so innocent in all of the pictures!
My dog is not a very good boy. At all. He constantly jumps into our garden (we have a fence) and digs out everything planted in there, he is very fond of bitting through wires- christmas tree lights and stereo cords, luckily both times they weren’t plugged in. He also chewed up the brake handle bar on my bike, it still functions but what exactly was his intention?


Natalia Reply:

Oh and the best part? He once chewed his way through a “Gorilla Proof” dog crate.


Emily Malone Reply:

Indy has chewed his way out of a cage before too. :)


Elizabeth     at 4:32 pm

Thankfully our Frenchie doesn’t chew anything other than food/toys (so lucky!), but he does have a wee bit of a stealing/hoarding problem. He likes to sneak my stuff (and only myyyy stuff) and hide it in his crate– running watches, hair elastics, shoes, and best of all– undergarments. One day, I came home to find a hot pink bra in his crate. I’m sure our dog walker thinks we are complete freaks. Man, those pups are always good for a laugh!


Best Garnish of 2010. | Daily Garnish     at 8:40 pm

[…] Dog Days […]

Wendy     at 4:49 am

Hi Emily
I just ready your blog on the sparkpeople web site and ventured over to your site to check things out. Your dogs are so adorable! I wouldn’t be able to stay mad at them either. I have 4 dogs and each has their unique personalities. 2 of them stay in the house most of the time. When they are alone, everything is fine. When all 4 dogs are in the house alone, all heck breaks loose. I can always tell they’ve gotten into something before I even walk in the door because the 2 older dogs make a beeline out the door so they won’t get yelled at. The youngest is Van Gogh (yes, he only has one ear like his namesake. He doesn’t chew things up but he hoards them. I’m waiting for TLC to do a buried alive show on him.


Nikki T     at 5:20 pm

I know this is an old post, but I MUST comment! I just found your blog yesterday (thanks to KathEats) and I had to look back on some of the dog posts as I have a chocolate fur-baby named Bella.
We’ve been lucky as she hasn’t chewed anything (that) major like the couch, carpet, railings, etc…however she’s had her moments…
I wasn’t super impressed when she decided my Garmin 305 was hers to snack on! And I don’t think my Husband was happy when, just the other day, she took his wallet off the counter, into her crate and nicely helped us not to spend any $$ by eating his visa, debit card, etc!!

“No matter what they do, they always come back with looks of sincere apology, that somehow ends in temporary memory loss of whatever damage has occurred.”….SO TRUE!!

Love your blog so far!

Nikki (and Bella!) ;)


Emily Malone Reply:

So glad you found the blog! Can’t live with em, can’t live without em, right? :)


Nikki T Reply:

SO right!


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* Skin redness (erythema), especially on the bridge of the nose,
face and lips. On the other hand in online shopping the product is handed over safely at your door step.
The dog must search for treats by moving blocks on the board that are on a serpentine track with just one opening.


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