about me

    Emily Malone

    culinary arts grad. nutrition facts lover. vegetarian chef. marathon runner. country music maniac. failed dog trainer. barre fanatic. loving mama.

    Contact Emily

    EmilyBMalone@gmail.com

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    A Look Back.



Dealing With Pregnancy Anxiety.

Man, all this baby talk sure is fun!  :)  Sorry for the cliffhanger yesterday – I didn’t want to blab on for so long that I made you all fall asleep.  So I will just pick up right where I left off – where was I?  Ahh yes, peeing on a stick

The funny thing is, I had done so many pregnancy tests over the past year, that I didn’t even bother to look at the box and see what I was supposed to be looking for.  Most of the ones I had done in the past were supposed to be plus signs, so when I looked at the stick and saw two bold blue lines side by side, I didn’t think anything of it.  In fact, I thought it was negative.

As I went to toss it in the trash, I saw the box peeking out from the trash can, and pulled it out just to take a second look.  It was only then that my heart skipped a beat.  I looked at the box, I looked at the test, I looked back at the box.  And then I completely freaked out.

I stood in the bathroom for about 30 seconds, totally unsure what to do next.  I had no plan, and my mind was racing so quickly!  I ran back into the dark bedroom and stood next to the bed.  The conversation that followed when something like this…

Emily: Casey, wake up.
Casey: What’s wrong?
Emily: I think I’m pregnant.
Casey: Why do you think that?
Emily: Because I just took a pregnancy test.
Casey: Just now?  What did it say?
Emily: That I am PREGNANT! Go look at it!

My initial reaction upon seeing the test myself was such shock and panic that it initially outweighed any excitement.  When people ask, “were you surprised?” – I have to think, no matter how hard you try or plan, you will always be surprised to find out you are pregnant.

What followed our conversation is one of those moments that I know will be etched into my memory forever.  I will never ever forget the look of happiness and excitement on Casey’s face.  The minute I saw his smile, I crawled back into bed, stopped being scared, and started dreaming about the possibilities.  The two of us talked under the covers for at least an hour, until we finally went up to the office so I could immediately start researching.

The very first thing I did was Google an online due date calculator, and came up with this…

due date

OCTOBER?  I was shocked!  For some reason the calculations in my head led me to believe that I was going to have a Thanksgiving baby, but somehow I had already lost a full month!  October seemed so SOON.  I’m still not totally sure how all that works – apparently you are already 2 weeks pregnant at conception?  News to me!

Next I g-chatted a friend and asked her for a doctor recommendation (although I didn’t give a reason).  Being new to the area, I didn’t have one yet – setting off a whole other string of panic attacks and freak outs.  With a doctor name and practice recommended, I picked up the phone and dialed to make my appointment, wanting as much information as I could possibly get right away.

Nurse: Hello, how can we help you?
Emily: I need to make a new patient appointment with Dr. D.
Nurse: Okay, she can see you on March 10th (this was February 7th).
Emily: Oh I’ll need to get in sooner than that, I’m actually PREGNANT!  
Nurse: (not sounding impressed) Oh, okay then.  Well that actually works out perfectly, because we won’t see you until you are 8-10 weeks for your first prenatal visit.
Emily: (panicking) EIGHT weeks? Oh wow – I can’t possibly wait that long.
Nurse: Well that is standard practice.  We’ll see you on the 10th!  Congratulations!

An entire month of nothing but WAITING.  I don’t really talk about it much on here since it doesn’t affect my day to day life (Casey would argue this), but in the past I have suffered from very bad anxiety.  I worry and panic about everything.  It has gotten better in recent years, as I’ve made a conscious effort to recognize and manage the symptoms, but pregnancy has definitely brought back a lot of those old feelings and worries.

The minute I started researching pregnancy, I went from excited to TERRIFIED.  Every website I logged into said things like “Congratulations on your pregnancy!  Here’s what you should know about abdominal pain, risks of ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, placental abruption, etc.”  Suddenly I felt like I was drowning in a sea of everything that could (and in my mind WOULD) go wrong.

ectopic

I spent the first week feeling somewhat crampy and uncomfortable, and absolutely CONVINCED that I was having an ectopic pregnancy.  When I was 15, I had surgery to have an ovarian cyst removed, and since this was listed as a possible risk factor for ectopics, I just knew that I had one.  The thought of waiting four weeks for answers was literally crippling, and I found myself calling the doctor’s office in tears several times – literally begging them to see me.

Finally they agreed to let me come in for some blood work to see if my hormone levels were progressing as they should.  I practically jumped in the car right then and there, off to give my blood sample for day one.  Two days later, I went back for round two – and anxiously awaited a phone call to let me know the results.  The next day, a nurse nonchalantly called with the following, “Your test results are back.  Congratulations, you are pregnant!”

Um yes, I already knew that.

After several more questions and prompting, she located the second round of numbers and told me that everything looked great, hormone numbers had more than doubled, and I was off to a healthy start.  HUGE DEEP BREATH.

Once I had SOME (any!) sort of medical confirmation that things appeared healthy and normal, I was able to stop obsessing so much about what might go wrong.  As much as I wanted to educate myself on pregnancy, I found that the resources online (and the commenters!) all tended to focus heavily on risks, possibilities, and potential negatives.  While I realized it was important for me to know the whole picture, taking into account my personal struggles with anxiety – it was way too much for me.

Around the six week mark (and after two weeks of driving Casey insaaane with my obsession with miscarriage), I made it my personal mission to simply allow myself to be excited.  I knew that there was nothing I could do to cause or prevent any possibilities, so worrying about them was entirely pointless.

Which brings me to tomorrow – my first official prenatal appointment!  To say that I am nervous is an understatement, but I am hopeful and excited – hoping to hear a heartbeat.  While the idea of being pregnant already feels very real, I know that seeing and hearing this little miracle in person will take it to a whole new level.

I promise to update to you guys once I know something!  Please say a few extra prayers tonight for me, Casey, and the raspberry.

——————————————-

After what is hopefully a successful first appointment in the morning, we are heading to SEATTLE for the weekend to take care of some family business.  (If I have any Seattle readers interested in getting together Saturday morning, shoot me an email!)  See you soon from the West Coast!

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206 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Michelle C     at 6:43 pm

Yay! I’m loving reading these posts! I’m especially excited to hear about having a vegetarian pregnancy as everyone seems to assume someone will go back to eating meat during pregnancy. (I blame that friend’s episode where Phoebe eats meat.) Being veggie and hoping to have kids one day i’m excited to hear about you experiences!

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Erinn     at 6:43 pm

To say I am obsessed with your pregnancy posts, is an understatement. Congratulations again, you will love Seattle!

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Kristy @ KristyRuns     at 6:44 pm

Awesome! Thanks for sharing! Good luck tomorrow! :)

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StefanieK     at 6:44 pm

It’s such a looooong wait until that first appt, but not being seen right away is actually a good sign that things are going WELL. People who are seen right away are at greater risks. Regardless, glad you got the good news you wanted then, and lots of luck tomorrow! Our first appt, we didn’t get to hear the hb, but could see it flickering away on the ultrasound monitor. I bawled and bawled. Uncontrollably. It is the most amazing thing. Enjoy!!

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hippierunner     at 6:44 pm

Keeping you guys in my thoughts! Think Postive! :)

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Freya     at 6:44 pm

Awh, I love how you described Casey’s reaction!!
Gah, i would be exactly the same as you if I were pregnant – seeing all the things that COULD go wrong and freaking out; I’m an anxious panicker too :s
Good luck with the appointment anyway (though – through Twitter reading :p – was it today/did you get the wrong doctor? I think I saw you were upset, so if that IS the case, hope you’re ok now!)
Have a great weekend in Seattle :)

Oh – and all this baby talk is making ME broody – a 20yr old who firmly does NOT want children lol:P

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Emily Malone Reply:

It’s tomorrow – wrong doctor, but I am still going. I want some feedback!

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Kate     at 6:46 pm

Soooo excited for you both! Just don’t be too disappointed/anxious if you don’t get to hear a heartbeat, as it’s still really early and such a tiny heartbeat can be hard to find. Around 20 weeks is usually the BIG appointment where you have your first ultrasound and find out the sex, etc. Many exciting days to come!! :)

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kelli     at 6:46 pm

I love your pregnancy posts! You are so real and raw. Keep them coming!!!! Good Luck with your appointment :)

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Marci     at 6:47 pm

I just came back to your site to see your period app and found a new post. I’m looking forward to the stories each day more than before! Did you start taking a prenatal vitamin before you found out? Good luck tomorrow and have fun in Seattle. Long trip!

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Emily Malone Reply:

I was taking one, but not very regularly. Now I make sure to never miss a day!

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chelsey @ clean eating chelsey     at 6:47 pm

I need to forward this onto my sister. She is 13 weeks along, and this is the EXACT SAME thing she went through. She was absolutely terrified for the first 12 weeks, and even refused to give me her coffee until she hit the 12 week mark. She made an appointment early because she was so afraid of something being wrong. Often times we let our fears get in the way of enjoying something beautiful that is happening to us. I hope that being able to write about it now has helped you squash some of those fears!!

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Emily Malone Reply:

I kept trying but they wouldn’t let me come in! Glad it’s not just me. :)

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Laine     at 6:48 pm

Stop making me cry! Seriously, I’m so happy for you and Casey. But I have turned into a blubbery mess at each of these pregnancy posts. (No kids, and no desire for kids, but I get so excited and weepy when people who want kids get pregnant.)

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Kristina @ spabettie     at 6:49 pm

yeee – these posts are so exciting!! I love it – and hope your first appointment goes great!!

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Kristen     at 6:49 pm

I think quite possibly every pregnant woman goes through some sort of anxiety when pregnant. It is normal to be nervous and overthink EVERYTHING! Your first visit will be so exciting – and you will finally come to realize there is actually something growing inside you! It is a wonderful, surreal feeling!

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KaraHadley     at 6:49 pm

I love that you’re calling it a raspberry. And I wish you tons of luck tomorrow. You seem to take remarkably great care of yourself and appear quite healthy — all very important factors in a healthy pregnancy.

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Melissa S     at 6:49 pm

Good luck tomorrow! The first appointment is hard. Just be aware that at 8 weeks it can sometimes be hard to find the heartbeat – not unusual because the baby is so small and can hide. They had a tough time with my 2nd kid but by 10-12 weeks it gets easier to find.

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Emily Malone Reply:

Good to know – thank youuu!

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Melissa S Reply:

Didn’t want you panicking if they can’t find it. :)
Also ask when your office does the first US and how many they do during the pregnancy. My office I saw with kid#1 only did one at 20 weeks! The OB I am seeing now (37 wks!!) did one at 8wks, 20 wks and 35 wks. It is good to know what is normal at your practice.

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Alaina     at 6:50 pm

Are you going to do month by month pictures of your belly getting bigger? :-)

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Emily Malone Reply:

Of course! :) Nothing really to show yet, haha.

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Parita @ myinnershakti     at 6:51 pm

SO EXCITING! Your story brought tears to my eyes! You guys are going to make awesome parents!! YAY!

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Tami     at 6:53 pm

Be sure to know your families health info for the appointment- you will need to fill out all sorts of paperwork etc and it can be a little overhelming

I am really happy for you and Casey

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Sarena (The Non-Dairy Queen)     at 6:53 pm

It is definitely always a shock when you first found out. I remember being HORRIBLY constipated with my first pregnancy and had not started my period. I thought I had something wrong with me. I did not know I was pregnant, but I thought I was sick. I called the doctor and the first thing they asked me was if I had taken a pregnancy test. I told them no, I don’t think I’m pregnant, I think there is something wrong. They told me to go home and take a test. So, I did, knowing I was not pregnant. Well, I was pregnant! Pregnancy is such a strange thing. None of them are the same either. Enjoy every second of it Emily! You have my thoughts and prayers tomorrow for you and your family!

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Emily Malone Reply:

Yeah that is definitely happening over here. :)

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Sarena (The Non-Dairy Queen) Reply:

I know people hate getting advice from people with kids, but I just want to suggest that you keep a journal. I sadly did not and I so wish I had. These are moments you want to remember (even if they are horribly uncomfortable). I know you eat like I do, so hopefully the fiber will kick in soon. The little one is already taking all the good stuff and leaving you with all the…not so good stuff. Congratulations, again, to you and Casey!

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Emily Malone Reply:

I am all about advice right now! I want to know EVERYTHING! :) I considered buying a journal last weekend. That was also part of the reason I wanted to go public on the blog so early – I didn’t want to miss talking about all these “firsts”!

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Lisa     at 6:55 pm

I’d hate to tell you this but your doctor probably won’t let you hear a heart beat tomorrow. Currently I’m 24 weeks pregnant. My doctor didnt even look for a heart beat till 13 weeks. But, I had an ultrasound at 10 weeks.
I bought a Doppler on Craigslist for about $80. That way I was able to hear the heartbeat whenever. I first found it at about 9 weeks….

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Emily Malone Reply:

Good to know! Thank you! I know they are doing a sonogram, but I will try not to freak out if the baby decides to hide. :)

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SAL     at 6:55 pm

I recently tried Svaroopa yoga, which totally chilled me out (I’m a stress puppy!). I just looked up Svaroopa in Alexandria: http://www.radiance-yoga.net/svaroopaYoga.php. I think you and the baby would love, love, love it! Everything will be perfect–just remember to breathe!

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Emily Malone Reply:

I’ve been thinking about trying Radiance for a while now! Thanks for the tip – I’ve never tried that kind of yoga.

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shorty     at 6:57 pm

Again so excited for you!! I think you are right about not researching it on your own. With the information age we tend to know TOO much sometimes!! It is great that you know your weakness and deal with it, that is all you can do. We all have our issues and now that I am older it is SOO nice to be able to deal with it better than I was able years ago. I will pray often for you:) What an exciting time:) Glad I get to read all about it!hehe

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Jo @ Jo In the Kitchen     at 6:57 pm

Good luck at your appointment! I’ll definitely say some prayers for you guys :)

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Amanda     at 6:59 pm

I will definitely be thinking about you guys in the morning as I anxiously await news in my own family – my cousin (who is more like a sister) is having her baby in the morning – probably around the same time as your appointment :) Lots of baby = lots of smiles!

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Nicole @ Yuppie Yogini     at 6:59 pm

So cute!! I can’t imagine what a basket case I’ll be when I’m pregnant. Even though you will read all those horror stories on the internet, remember the healthy lifestyle you’ve been living. You’ve spent the past few years creating the best possible environment for a healthy baby to grow!

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Cait Reply:

“You’ve spent the past few years creating the best possible environment for a healthy baby to grow!”

I love this! So true!

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Jen     at 7:00 pm

I’m one of those people that has quietly been stalking your blog for at least a year…I finally had to post a response. I LOVE your blog…but then to hear your pregnant. Awesome! I am due with my first September 9th. I am so looking forward to the addition of baby talk on the blog, and being able to compare/relate with your experience. So EXCITING!

Even moreso, you reactino when you found out is SOOOOOOO how I reacted. As much as we were trying and really wanted this…when the test was possitive – I was immediately completely overwhelmed (throw some pure excitement in there)…and then the anxiety set in and stayed for weeks. Plus, I almost couldn’t believe it was actually true!

I had no idea when my last period was, so i had an early ultrasound done. Well..we thought it was early. Turns out I was further along then we realized and the baby that was dancing away on the screen was so clear and far more developed than I ever expected. I was shocked and overjoyed. Seeing, and watching it was all I needed. Most amazing experience ever. I have felt nothing but pure excitement and happiness since. :D

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

(Wow…that I just rambled on way longer than I meant to…ha!)

Jen

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Julie (A Case of the Runs)     at 7:00 pm

You are such a good writer… Since I started reading your blog, I’ve bee easily able to read through all your stories. This one is particularly exciting. I’m 25 (close to 26) and hope I get to see that look that Casey gave you from my future husband. I’m sure it’s the best.

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Kelly @ Kelly Be Well     at 7:02 pm

First off – congratulations!
Second – I’d be thrilled to read about how you deal with your anxiety through your pregnancy. I am an agorphobic and I’m terrified of pregnancy because of it!

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Erin @ Vie Balance     at 7:04 pm

Some of the best advice I received from my midwife when I was pregnant and then after my baby was born was to STAY AWAY from the internet!! If you have a question/concern/reason to freak out, she said to call her because they are the professionals and the internet 99% of the time just makes your anxiety worse. Of course I still Google things from time to time but find it less stressful for me and my poor husband who has to listen to me freak out if I just reach out and call my midwife or pediatrician.

Good luck tomorrow!

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Tricia     at 7:05 pm

I love how you call the baby a raspberry. It’s simply hilarious to me for some unknown reason. On a more serious note, I use to have serious issues with anxiety to the point where I was scared to be left alone. I still struggle with anxiousness and worry but not nearly as frequent or severely as before. I memorized things like “there is no fear in love, because perfect love drives out all fear” and “who can add a single day to life by worrying”

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Amy     at 7:06 pm

Wishing you lovely appointment tomorrow, and peace for tonight :) I’m loving your pregnancy posts– like all your posts, you are beautifully real <3 Keeping you, Casey & Baby Raspberry in my prayers: for a perfect appointment & a healthy pregnancy!

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Jillian @ Reshape Your Life     at 7:07 pm

Aww!! This post made me laugh and had me smiling the entire time. That is so awesome, and HOW EXCITING about your first prenatal appointment, on my birthday no less I’m sure it will go perfectly (as all things do on my birthday, right?;) )

Have a fun and safe trip!

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Emily Malone Reply:

HAPPY (early) BIRTHDAY!! How exciting! A good omen indeed. :)

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Jillian @ Reshape Your Life Reply:

Thank you! I can’t wait to hear about how it goes! I know you have a while to decide, but have ya’ll thought about finding out the sex of the baby?

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LoriV. (For the Run of It)     at 7:11 pm

I love Seattle! Enjoy your visit there! Remember, it is still very early so you might not hear a heartbeat and this 100% NORMAL! I had major anxiety about pregnancy is well since I normally panic and worry about everything and because it took a couple years to get pregnant! Try and relax and enjoy the time though, it goes so fast! (You’ll hear that about a thousand times during your pregnancy and you’ll be thinking that no it doesnt!!)

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KG     at 7:15 pm

Emily,

I am so happy for you! I got teary eyed when I read your post announcing your pregnancy- and your story is eerily similar to what my husband and I experienced. I went off bc, saw no period for 5-6 months, had irregular loooong cycles where I panicked about if I was pregnant or not and finally fearful that I would never be able to conceive. My husband and I started trying to conceive in November and began tracking temps, etc. We found out in early January that I was pregnant. I can’t wait to follow your journey since we aren’t too far removed from each other. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

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Cindy     at 7:17 pm

I have terrible anxiety too. This week we applied for a new apartment and it took the people THREE DAYS to process the application. I just knew there was something wrong and we were going to be homeless. Of course, all that worry was pointless. There was no reason they wouldn’t have accepted us.

Have you looked at the prenatal classes on yogadownload.com yet? They could be a fun distraction anyway :)

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Amy     at 7:20 pm

Congratulations! You’ll be in my thoughts tomorrow. As someone who also has serious anxiety, I felt anxious just thinking about how anxious you must feel! Good for you for deciding you’re not going to let anxiety get in the way of excitement! I am sure everything will go well tomorrow.

Also, your due date is my wedding date. :)

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Jayna @ Healthy Living Bites     at 7:20 pm

I love love LOVE all the baby talk!!!! I’m the same way with anxiety, the husband just doesn’t understand. With my first I flipped out at the thought that I wouldn’t be seen until 8 weeks, but then they did a super early u/s to make sure it was healthy (long story).

One thing that helped with my second, when I was even MORE freaked out about miscarriage etc was reminding myself that the odds were in my favor. Yes, you hear a lot about the possible negative outcomes, but more often (85% more often) the outcome is a healthy and happy pregnancy. As a numbers person that was kind of comforting (still didn’t stop me from driving the husband nuts if I wasn’t nauseated for a day or two).

Good job pestering your doctor! As my dad says “that’s why they make the big bucks”. Oh, and about the two weeks extra. . . it’s cause it’s dated by the start of your last period, which is two weeks before conception would occur ;)

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@amarantac Reply:

oops, saw this after I posted!

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katy {of} katy loves.     at 7:24 pm

I also deal with anxiety. We should talk sometime, haha. Glad to hear it gets easier with some work. It’s gotten a lot better for me since high school but I still worry a ton. I love reading about your babyventures. I have slight baby fever, although we’re not planning on having kids for another few years. I can live vicariously through you! ;) Good luck on your appointment tomorrow, so happy for you!

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Kristy@RunTheLongRoad     at 7:25 pm

Thanks so much for sharing. I really enjoy reading. I can’t wait to hear more. Good luck tomorrow!

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Kristine     at 7:29 pm

Yay for October 15! Your Google due date is my wedding day! Hopefully soon to be followed by some baby news of our own. :-)

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Lindsay     at 7:29 pm

I freak out big time while pregnant too! I have a 2 year old daughter and am 17 weeks pregnant with my 2nd. This time, knowing how long they make you wait for your first appointment, I lied and said my last period was like 2 weeks earlier than it really was so they’d see me earlier. Terrible maybe, but it was a huge anxiety relief to see the heartbeat at 7 weeks. And I bought a doppler online to calm my nerves when need be. I also follow every pregnancy “rule”, which is honestly and unfortunately rare, so i know that if i do miscarry, in no way could it have been my fault. (no caffeine, lunch meats, soft cheeses, artificial sweeteners,etc) Its a huge relief when the baby starts moving around. Good luck tomorrow!

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christina cadden     at 7:29 pm

Awe, love your story! Hope you have a great apt tom!

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Estela @ Weekly Bite     at 7:33 pm

I had the same anxiety with my first pregnancy. I know exactly what you’re going through. Best of luck tomorrow :) Don’t be surprised if you cry happy tears when you see that little heartbeat :)

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@amarantac     at 7:34 pm

the 2 week difference in due date is b/c they calculate it based on your last menstrual period (LMP) to evaluate everyone the same, but the actual conception is around 14 days later, but no one usually knows the exact date. So it’s just easier to go off your last period. So technically everyone is 2 weeks less (gestational age) than their doctor tells them, the baby is due at 38 weeks not 40 :)

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Michelle (The Runner's Plate)     at 7:34 pm

My husband and I are probably 1-2 years out from having a baby, so I am digging these pregnancy posts! The unknown scares me, so having you blog about these things helps me know what to expect!

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Stephanie @ LiveCookLove     at 7:39 pm

I LOVE YOUR PREGNANCY POSTS!!!!! Please keep writing :) For real… love them. This is going to be really fun to go back and read too! And for the little raspberry in there… when “it” gets old enough to read these posts, it will be really exciting! Can’t wait to find out how everything goes tomorrow!

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Allie (Live Laugh Eat)     at 7:43 pm

…and the little raspberry hahaha! Well, good luck lil’ berry.

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Averie (LoveVeggiesAndYoga)     at 7:47 pm

Major congrats to you both!!!

Pregnancy and finding out…yes, MAJORLY life changing, and surprising, even when trying. At that moment of truth, it’s still just…surprising!!

And anxiety…well, there is nothing like parenthood to force one to deal with their issues b/c you have a new life who needs you and so the details and things..just…work themselves out. Becoming a mother was a gift in so many ways…including putting the things I used to worry about in perspective b/c of everything else that just took priority over it. So your anxiety I am thinking will get better/easier to handle :) For me, it totally did after becoming a mom.

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Molly     at 7:47 pm

Congratulations! I am really looking forward to following your pregnancy journey through the lenses of veganism/vegetarianism–it will be so good for your baby! I am also pretty anxiety prone so when I was pregnant last year I was told to avoid reading the book “what to expect when you are expecting”. Instead, I got the Mayo Clinic guide to pregnancy and it told me everything I needed to know without the risks… Good Luck!

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kelly     at 7:48 pm

How exciting! My first prenatal apt is on Monday and I am so excited/nervous! I did the same thing as you and freaked out the first few weeks reading things on the internet..but then I made myself be excited and avoided pregnancy forums since there was so much negativity. Good luck tomorrow!! :) Do you have morning sickness yet? Mine is 24/7.. no fun.

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Emily Malone Reply:

Good luck at your appointment on Monday! It is so much fun. :)

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Sarah @ goingongoals     at 7:49 pm

Congrats!!! Even tho I am a long way off to even considering having kids I am very curious about your experience being a pregnant active vegetarian. Please keep the post coming and good luck tomorrow!

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Catherine     at 7:51 pm

I’m about 14 weeks pregnant right now and your story is so similar to mine! I had to stop going online because I was totally sure I would end up having a miscarriage. I was so relieved to see that little heart beating away at the 8 week appointment! Can’t wait to hear how yours goes!!

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Sara     at 7:54 pm

That first sonogram and image is amazing! I had my first appt at 10 weeks and apparently my uterus is in the back (who knew?!…apparently this is normal for some people) so the heartbeat wasn’t found until the next appt but hearing it is amazing! Good luck and enjoy!

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Red Deception     at 7:55 pm

Awwww, I know what it means to have a lot of anxiety! Coming from a background of neonatal and obstetrical experience, the odds of having pregnancy complications when you are a healthy woman are low. If you can, try to enjoy every moment as you grow that little person. Before you know it, you will be nine months along and BEGGING for the baby to come out!

Best wishes :)

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Wendy R     at 8:14 pm

Very exciting! 10 and 7 years later and I still remember that craxy, emotional feeling when I read the positive pregnancy tests.

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Stephanie     at 8:15 pm

Good luck on your first prenatal visit!! You and the raspberry are in my thoughts! :)

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Lee     at 8:18 pm

I can totally relate to the anxiety thing. Dr. Google is not my friend! I wish you the best at your doctor’s visit tomorrow!

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Jeni @ stepping out     at 8:21 pm

I know I would be exactly the same if/when I get pregnant. So jealous of you getting to go to Seattle! I went 2 years ago and I want to go again so bad! Safe travels. :D

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Sarah @ The Strength of Faith     at 8:22 pm

I think anxiety is more common than people think. I had to take some time off in college because of serious anxiety and it’s something I still deal with to this day, years later. I know it’s hard to let yourself get excited, but you’re right – give yourself permission and enjoy the ride.

I’m so excited for you!

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Sarah @ The Strength of Faith Reply:

p.s. I hope you call Baby Malone “raspberry” for your entire pregnancy!

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Robyn     at 8:40 pm

Keeping you guys in my thoughts tomorrow! Enjoy hearing that heart beat, it is such an incredible moment :)

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Lauren     at 8:41 pm

Eeek, I check this site way too often to hear baby updates!

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Tina     at 8:46 pm

It’s so exciting to read your story! I can’t wait to read about your first official appointment and I think it’s cute that you call the baby raspberry!

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Amber K     at 8:48 pm

It sounds weird to say that I’m saying prayers for a raspberry, but I think it sounds exactly like what I should be doing. :)

I’m so glad you are sharing such a wonderful time in your life. It’s new, fresh, and I can’t wait until I can (re)live those same feelings!

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Kiran     at 8:50 pm

Yay! I am so excited that you are sharing your journey with us :)

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Maria     at 8:51 pm

I’m such an anxious person, I don’t know what I’d do if I had to wait that long. Thanks for posting information on your road to baby makin! I’m about to get married and have been on BC for over 10 years. My mom says I should go off of it right away because it might take time for my body to go back to normal. But I’ve also heard of people getting pregnant right away. We shall see! Good luck at your appointment tomorrow and congrats mama!

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Kath     at 8:56 pm

Love your conversation recaps :) And I LOVE the nickname Raspberry!!

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Heidi - Apples Under My Bed     at 8:59 pm

Good luck!! I hope you, Casey and the Raspberry are all happy and healthy tomorrow :)
Heidi xo

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Caitlin     at 9:06 pm

Such great posts! Good luck tomorrow! And enjoy Seattle (my hometown!!) If you need a great vegetarian restaurant, you have to go to Cafe Flora. It’s my favorite :)

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Holly     at 9:20 pm

Hi Emily,
I just started reading your blog- congrats!
It’s been crazy reading your story because it is almost identical to mine (although it took me two years to get pregnant). I also just found out I’m pregnant- due on Sept. 25th so only three weeks ahead of you!
I had the EXACT same feelings you are having. It’s especially hard not to worry after waiting and worrying for so long just to get pregnant. I also had to wait until 8 weeks for my first ultrasound and it was TORTURE!!!
I want you to know at 8 weeks I did see my baby and its beating heart (I didn’t get to hear it though)- it was wonderful. I hope you have a wonderful appointment tomorrow! I am excited to be going through this experience at the same time as you :)

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Natalie Rae     at 9:31 pm

So excited for you!

Just moved from Seattle and miss it- let me know if you have any questions. I have a couple Yelp lists on Yelp Seattle under Natalie W that have to do with Seattle bests and visiting that might help :)

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Nadine     at 9:39 pm

Thank you so much for being honest and sharing your experience. As someone who is in the process, it’s encouraging and a relief to hear the stresses of a ‘normal’ pregnancy. Excited to follow your journey.

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Alyson     at 9:40 pm

I just want to hug newly pregnant you! I know what you’re saying with the anxieties. I’ve experienced my share of them. I’ve been pregnant a lot, and with six siblings of my own and my husband’s 11 siblings, I’ve seen a lot of pregnancies really close up. There *are* so many things that can go wrong—but do you know what the miracle is? They almost never do. With all the things that can go a little or a lot wrong, miraculously most pregnancies are full term and most babies come out miniature and perfect. All will be well. :)

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Cary     at 9:52 pm

Just to confirm what I think you have discovered, stay off the Internet. It will only get worse after you have the baby:) I have 2 young children and diagnose them with everything scary under the sun when I log on!
A book is a great reference- the Mayo Clinic one is done very well.

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Maryea {Happy Healthy Mama}     at 10:00 pm

Good luck at your appointment!

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Jen     at 10:08 pm

Hi Emily,
Congrats to you and Casey on your wonderful news!
I’ve followed your blog for a while, and am excited to keep reading as you go through pregnancy.
The anxiety and worry that begin the moment you find out you’re pregnant (for me at least) is the beginning of your journey as a parent. There will always be a new stage, a new step, that will bring worries with it, not because you’re a negative thinker, but because it’s all so new and unknown. Like you, I was convinced (especially early on) that every twinge and cramp meant something was wrong. As much as you can, try to embrace the awesome journey that your body is going through! My doctor once told me that getting pregnant is the hard part, staying pregnant is easier. I found those words very comforting and helpful with my anxiety.
Good luck at the doctor tomorrow! If they do a (TMI) vaginal ultrasound, then you should hear the heartbeat :)
All the best!

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Ashlyn     at 10:23 pm

I look forward to your post everyday, even more so now. I am so excited for you and Casey (and the pups too!) I just hope I am as lucky as you one day. xo

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RaeAnna     at 10:28 pm

Emily!
I found out I was pregnant in January and immediately started reading info on babycenter. Just as fast as I found babycenter, I realized I hated it. I hated how much it doesn’t let you be joyous and happy about your new pregnancy without stressing out about miscarriage. My fiance forbade me to read about miscarriages because I was getting so stressed out. I even went to the ER for crampiness and spotting. Everything was perfect. Believe me, I know how stressful it can be but you have to surround yourself with positivity and excitement and just let yourself feel blessed. Like you said, what will be will be. Thank you for this post, I think our anxieties are normal. Enjoy your first prenatal visit, they get more and more exciting. xo.

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Jessica Flemming     at 10:29 pm

Congratulations and I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow. I just wanted to tell you since it was a total shock to me- the first ultrasound my doc did at 8 weeks was a vaginal ultrasound! Maybe you had to have these when you had your surgery on your ovary, but I had never had one and I was freaked out. It is a small wand, they put a condom on it and do the ultrasound internally. Maybe every office is different, but that is what mine did. And I found out in that very first appointment that there were 2 heartbeats! TWINS! I will never forget that moment for as long as I live. My husband and I burst into laughter. Uncontrollable giggles.

Just wanted to mentally prepare you for the possibility of a vaginal ultrasound. I was not prepared, but by the end of my twin pregnancy, where they treated me like I was going to explode any minute (multiples make the pregnancy considered high risk), I was not surprised by anything.

Best wishes. So excited.
Jessica

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Mandy     at 10:30 pm

I’m SO excited I found your blog and that I get to follow your baby journey! I gave birth to my baby boy on New Year’s Day and it’s been amazing. I miss being pregnant, and am already sad that his “newbornness” is going away so quickly. Will live vicariously through you! I loved blogging about my pregnancy and birth…and I tried to stay off the internet…it’s a dangerous neighborhood when it comes to pregnancy (and parenting) advice, in my opinion.

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Reading (and chickens)     at 10:38 pm

Seattle! Woo hoo! My town :)

If you need veg. friendly suggestions, let me know (but Seattle is VERY veg. friendly). Check out Carmelita or Cafe Flora or Tilth (or for something less fancy, Chaco Canyon–raw and vegan options, and the most amazing veggie burger I’ve ever had) or the insanely good Molly Moon ice cream and sorbet. Have fun!

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Hollie     at 10:41 pm

Good luck tomorrow!! Seeing the baby on u/s and/or hearing a heartbeat are such amazing things!! It hopefully will put your mind at ease! I think that anxiety is totally normal, had it with both of mine. :)

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Tracy     at 11:24 pm

CONGRATULATIONS!! I am so excited for you, babies are a joy. May your pregnancy be filled with joy and excitement and your labor be quick!

tracyzabelle from spark

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emily     at 11:34 pm

emily!!!! i’m so happy for you, for REAL! i think you’re the first healthy lifestyle blogger who has announced a pregnancy since i’ve been a devoted reader–so i can’t wait for the months ahead and the new directions in which this blog will grow (personally, i don’t think you need to start a new one!) since i’ve been reading your blog for about a year now, i’ve grown familiar with the fact that you are shy just because you mention it every once in a while. but it breaks my heart a little bit that you were so down about your girly issues. i’m only 23 and farrrr away from thinking about babies, but you’re an inspiration! thank you for being YOU and i’m so glad things have worked out for you and casey just as you planned. best, best, best wishes to all three (five?) of you.

p.s….my parents had a dog before me, and she was so protective and sweet with me from the minute i was brought home, and not the least bit jealous! i know your 2 pooches will be the same!

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Becca     at 12:13 am

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness!!!! Congratulations!!!!! I’m excited to follow your journey of being healthy for both yourself and the baby; it makes me excited for the possibilities someday :)

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Ellie     at 12:17 am

Hey Emily,

Just wanted to say that I really appreciate your sharing that you have suffered from anxiety in the past. I have had bad anxiety too over my whole life and I know what it’s like – as you said, worrying and panicking about seemingly everything. Like you, I’ve gotten pretty good at managing it (but even though I can pretty much engage in all activities that I might have been too anxious to do before, the anxiety-managing takes a lot of mental energy so it still can be exhausting!) recently – but uncertainty can still throw me for a loop.

A lot of the time it can seem like food bloggers have perfect lives and are unflappable. So I really, really value that you share your true feelings about this!

And, of course, a big CONGRATULATIONS!

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Runeatrepeat     at 12:28 am

You are my second friend to announce they are pregnant this week! I am so excited and happy for you :)

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Ashley     at 1:01 am

I feel like I’m reading a book. I want more!! :) Safe travels and my thoughts are with you all!!! Love you dear! xoxo

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Kate (What Kate is Cooking)     at 1:11 am

Congratulations again :) Have fun in Seattle! Your baby is already logging some air miles in the womb!

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Cara Craves...     at 1:30 am

Wow!
What a great story and what a blessing.
Congrats to you both.

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bitt     at 1:31 am

I too have a lot of anxiety. I worry tons about my little nieces even though I’m not even their mom.

I am a Seattle reader and would love to see you if you have time. Cafe Flora or Plum’s brunches are great…and you’re feeding two now so you have to eat well. :-) I’d love to meet any other blog readers in the area too.

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Beth Reply:

I’m a fellow Seattle reader, and I’ve heard good things about Cafe Flora. I think a few other commenters mentioned it as well. That’s got my vote for a reader brunch!

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Gabi     at 2:30 am

It is so exciting reading your posts! Bring on the baby/pregnancy posts as much as possible! We’re thinking of having kids in the next year or so, so I love reading about everything baby/pregnancy related.)

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Michaela     at 2:58 am

Hallo

Big Congratulation to both of you. I have question about your running in pregnancy??? I mean when I was pregnant my doctor told meto avoid running and just fast walking if I want. It is also different with health care in my country( I am from europe) When I call to doctor after my period did not come she want me to see the same day I called to see ultrasound and took me blood test. We have to see doctor every 2 weeks during pregnancy and to check if everything is OK. I loved that visit because I could see my baby heartbeet movements,and I was sure that everything is ok and my baby is healthy. If there was any problem I could see doctor any time besides those every twoo weeks visits.

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Emily Malone Reply:

Hey Michaela! I plan to write a whole post about running and pregnancy soon. I haven’t really been running much just because I haven’t felt well, but it’s definitely something I plan to do. My understanding is that as long as you were a runner before, it is fine to continue to run at the same level.

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Elisabeth     at 2:59 am

I don’t have kids (not even married or pregnant), but these posts are so much fun, Emily! Can’t wait to read more for the next 7-8 months & good luck tomorrow!

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Shoshanna     at 3:02 am

Oh, you remind me so much of myself in the anxiety department! Hormones plus a recent miscarriage plus a looooong history of anxiety made me a giant ball of worry when I was pregnant with my son (now 17 months). I quickly discovered that if you google “pregnant” plus anything, even something as benign as “stubbed toe”, you will land on a dozen pages declaring that something awful — ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, birth defects — could be at hand. I ended up fretting through most of the pregnancy, which is a shame. It’s so hard to balance all the useful information against the scary stuff that you find, but I wish you luck in doing so and enjoying this wondrous thing that you are experiencing. CONGRATULATIONS!

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Jumanah @ Healthy Living in the Middle East     at 5:52 am

Good luck tomorrow at your appointment. I was also so anxious. I think I spent the first and second trimester worrying about everything! Every little symptom that I experienced drove me crazy and I was sure something was wrong. I think my doctor wanted to kill me I called so much! I know its hard, but try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy. I was so worried all the time that I never stopped to enjoy just being pregnant.

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leatitia     at 6:00 am

Emily! As much as I’d wish for you to hear a heartbeat tomorrow, 8 weeks is still a bit early to hear one. Even with an ultrasound (vaginal at this stage) So, please, keep in mind that it’s still early and you might not hear it at 8 weeks.

I heard my baby boy heartbeat only at … 16 weeks. We try at 10 weeks with a dopple (over the belly), but heard nothing. My doctor kept telling “I don’t think we’ll hear it, it’s too early, but let’s try… But I don’t think we’ll hear it”.. ahah. Hearing the heartbeat is so precious.. but SEEING my baby for the first time at 21 weeks was the most beautiful and amazing thing ever.

Congrats once again and good luck this morning xox

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Katelyn @ Chef Katelyn     at 6:49 am

Ahhhh love, I can not be more excited for you!! And the most beautiful part is, one day he/she will be able to read these posts and know that they were created with love, excitement, and pride. Congratulations girl!

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Casey     at 7:20 am

Even though I’m not ready for a baby yet (my fiance and I are in the middle of planning our wedding), I have really enjoyed reading these posts. Like you, I experience anxiety over a variety of things. I also feel that it doesn’t directly affect my day to day life, but my fiance (like Casey) would argue this. He never worries, and I always worry!!

You are a wonderful writer…often my favorite posts are the ones with lots of text and few pictures!! Congrats (again) on being a mommy and good luck at the appointment!!

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Therese     at 7:43 am

Man, I think following you on this journey is going to do me in! I’ve been in baby mode for a year now. In advance, my boyfriend (who’s birthday is on your due date no less) probably does NOT thank you! Ha!

But seriously, I am looking forward to following you on this. I’m getting in all the “research” I can get! :)

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Stacey (The Home-Cooked Vegan)     at 7:59 am

I would be the SAME way if I were pregnant! Worried about everything that could go wrong, but I’m so glad you are finally allowing yourself to feel excited :) Good luck at your appointment tomorrow!
I love how you call him/her “raspberry” hehe :D
Guess what?! You have a baby inside you!!!!! Ahhhhhh!!!!!! <–that's me getting excited for you

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Gabriela @ Une Vie Saine     at 8:18 am

GOOD LUCK today!! I hope everything goes smoothly. I don’t want to sound like a total creeper saying this, but I’m SO happy for you- people getting pregnant is the best news ever. I cried when I found out two of my cousins were! Have a great day!

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Kerr     at 8:49 am

Good luck at your first appointment. I will have my fingers crossed for you to hear the heartbeat!

Have fun in Seattle and safe travels.

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Lisa Paige     at 8:58 am

Congrats on your pregnancy!! It’s such a blessing. I’m 17 weeks along and everything is great. Just wanted to share some advise; everyone has opinions, and honestly, they get really annoying really fast. Like you, I was totally overwhelmed at first too. There’s so info you need to take in. I still have no clue what I need, what to register for, nothing. My doctor was right. She told me the less I know, the better. Don’t take everything the blogs, websites and books say too seriously. I swear, have the stuff you read is ridiculous. Enjoy this time, it’s the most fun and scary time in your life. Good luck!!

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Trish     at 9:06 am

Please please please stay away from the internet. Your doctor is your best source of information and the internet will make you worry about everything. Worry and stress are not good for your pregnancy. Think positive thoughts, be joyous and relaxed, and take care of your body. That is what your baby needs the most right now.

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Jen     at 9:10 am

I’m just so ridiculously excited for you! :D

Thank you so much for sharing the story and how you’ve been feeling!

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Liz     at 9:15 am

Oh my God, you crack me up. You need to read the chick lit novel “Diary of a Mad Mom-to-Be”. The protagonist totally does the whole “I AM HAVING AN ECTOPIC PREGNANCY” panic thing.

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Rachel     at 9:27 am

Best wishes at your appointment today! I get such anxiety about issues like this as well. I have had many sleepless nights about TTC issues recently. I would love to see a post about how you’ve learned to deal with your anxiety.

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Rachel Jacobs     at 9:29 am

It is all in God’s hands and you will be fine. Don’t obsess (althought after having 3 children I know it is hard not to panic). You and Casey will have a wonderful pregnancy…only 30 weeks left :)

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Jocelyn @ Enthusiastic Runner     at 9:41 am

So so exciting! I can’t wait to hear more!!

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Lindsey @ DownwardFacingFoodie     at 10:11 am

Hi Emily! First of all, congrats!! I’m a regular reader, but am not sure I’ve ever commented… :)

I can totally relate to all of your excitement AND anxiety because I am also pregnant! I am 14 weeks along, but I did the exact same things you have done. I read way too much on the internet and worried about everything. I was basically afraid to do anything during the 1st trimester thinking I would mess something up. But like you (and a little talk with my doc who told me to stop reading so much :)), I decided there was no need to worry! I was always so excited to be pregnant and there was no way I was going to enjoy it if I was worried all the time.

Now I just can’t wait until the little one is here! :) Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy! And in regards to the nausea, etc….it does get better – promise!

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Melanie @ Trial By Trail     at 10:15 am

Emily, you are so much like me in that crazy first trimester! Pregnancy is quite a ride – the second trimester is the best! Go on a baby moon if you can! We live in Seattle (well, Redmond to be exact) but have plans Sat. morning to get pics of the kiddos. How long are you two staying in Seattle? I’d love to meet you in real life! :-)

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Emily Malone Reply:

We are leaving first thing Sunday morning. We’re planning on meeting up with some other readers on Saturday morning at Mighty O Donuts in Greenlake around 9:30! Sounds like you might be busy, but thought I’d let you know just in case. :)

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Lisa     at 10:22 am

Aww, Emily, you made me teary!! I won’t ever forget the look on my husband’s face when I told him the news, and he won’t ever forget that I was still holding the pregnancy test in my hand when I jumped in bed to hug and kiss him and cry tears of joy. I didn’t know what to do, I couldn’t put it down!

I had to stop reading all of the pregnancy websites too because I was making myself crazy. :-) I’m almost at 19 weeks and I can feel the baby move now, it’s the most incredible and reassuring thing I’ve ever experienced (aside from seeing and hearing the baby’s heartbeat the first time).

My thought and prayers are with you, Casey and your little raspberry today!!

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Pam     at 10:24 am

I’m so happy for you :) I just started this same journey, due date August 24th… it really is all very amazing and pretty crazy! Enjoy the ride!

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Chicago Cuisine Critique     at 10:28 am

Try and enjoy the moment! Even though I can imagine how nerve-wracking it must be. Best of luck at today’s appointment. Fingers crossed you hear the heartbeat. :)

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Amanda     at 10:44 am

Thank you SO much for sharing your story! Good luck at your appointment!

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Laura     at 10:47 am

I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited to log on and read posts from a blog! I can’t wait to follow your progress and see the rasberry grow! Good luck to you at your first appointment!

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Kimberly @ Healthy Strides     at 10:50 am

Good luck at your appointment! I hated the whole waiting thing, too, but it’s good practice. I always feel like I’m waiting for the next appointment – first heartbeat, first u/s, etc.

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Melissa @ HerGreenLife     at 11:00 am

I was worried about the ectopic pregnancy thing, even though I DIDN’T have any risk factors. (I’m 22 weeks now, and things are going fine.)

I’m sure you’re getting lots of unsolicited advice ;) but I would highly recommend reading “Your Best Birth” by Ricki Lake (yes, the former talk show host) and Abby Epstein. I’m really regretting NOT recommending it to my little sister, who was hoping for a natural birth, but ended up with a c-section.

I read it when I was 8-10 weeks along, and it helped guide my decisions about what kind of birth I want, which is also influencing my decisions on prenatal care. Unless something pops up that makes me “high risk,” I will be seeing a midwife for all of my pregnancy and labor care.

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Kate     at 11:22 am

It is really awesome of you to be open and honest about struggling with anxiety.

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Gwen     at 11:35 am

Hope today goes great and you guys leave feeling informed and SOOO excited :) Safe travels West!

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Chrissy     at 11:35 am

Congrats Emily & Casey!! I think this is fantastic news. My husband and I are planning to start a family soon. I can’t wait to read about your pregnancy adventure! I have been an avid reader of your blog ever since I saw you on project food blog. This entry really struck a cord with me because I too have been battling anxiety my whole life. Even though it is very mild, it can still put a damper on some days! We all know we should not self diagnose on the internet but it’s always so tempting. Thank you for sharing your stories with us:)

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Rofomom @REAL life in Rofo     at 11:37 am

Ahhhh, reading this post brings back SOOOOO many memories for me. I have been EXACTLY where you are with two out of my three pregnancies (high anxiety and every thing else, too). I am sending good thoughts your way for a great first appointment!

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Amy     at 11:56 am

Emily,
First of all, I have been reading your blog for about a year now and I LOVE IT. Second, Congratulations to you and Casey, and thank you for this post. I struggle with anxiety too, and have been able to keep it more or less under control for the past couple years. My husband and I are talking about trying to get pregnant in the next year or so, and all of these fears are creeping up…about going off birth control, my anxiety returning, etc. It’s so helpful to know that others share similar feelings. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability.

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Katy (The Singing Runner)     at 12:25 pm

I am so excited for you! :D :D :D While I’ve never been pregnant, nor am I even considering it in the near future, I can understand your anxieties in the beginning.

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Natalia - a side of simple     at 12:39 pm

I’m really loving this “series!” Thank you Emily for sharing it with us! And best of luck today. You’ll be in my prayers for sure :)

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Sara     at 12:41 pm

Cognrats on your pregnancy! I remember staring at the pregnancy test last August just as you described-in complete shock, even though we had been trying (we’re due May 10th :) ). I guess it just really hits you when it actually happens! If your Dr. doesn’t do ultrasounds in office I highly recommend Ultrasound Associates in Alexandria. It’s an all women practice and they’re really great there. I hope you have an enjoyable pregnancy!

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Patricia     at 1:00 pm

Your blog is the best! Thank you for sharing all of this with your readers. Looking forward to updates each day!

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Christin@purplebirdblog     at 1:02 pm

The raspberry!! I love that the baby is currently so affectionately referred to as that! :)

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Julie     at 1:03 pm

Congratulations! Now, step away from Google! I made the same mistake when I was firts pregnant and it will drive you crazy. Try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy – its going to be one of the best experiences of your life. And, if you think you have anxiety now, wait till they put that baby in your arms!!! Good luck – I can’t wait to hear how your appointment goes.

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Anna @ Doing Good and Living Well     at 1:10 pm

Been thinking about you this morning. Hope everything went wonderfully well!

I completely feel for you on the anxiety. I get myself so wound up about things. I’m convinced I will want to live in a bubble when we decide to have a raspberry too. Health is scary but I feel like my anxiety takes it to new levels (ie I think every abnormality is the sign of some fatal problem).

Cannot wait to hear about how things go today! Happy travels.

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Karen     at 1:16 pm

Congratulations! I read you blog daily and was thrilled to hear your news – BECAUSE – I am also pregnant and due 10/21 (but I have not told anyone except my sister and husband). It’s so hard to keep this secret when I feel so awful and also want to ask so many questions. I’m keeping a journal and am trying to decide when to share our news.
FYI – I haven’t felt good enough to run but swimming has been amazing. It’s the only activity I feel like myself while I’m doing.
Good Luck and have fun in Seattle!

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Cindy Robinson     at 1:36 pm

Thanks for sharing. Know that you are not alone. My son is now 2, but when I first found out I was pregnant, I felt the EXACT same way. Convinced I had a ectopic pregnancy b/c this reason, or that reason. Then the next thing I Googled I was scared of.. It’s terrifying at first. It seems Casey is very supportive, use him :) You will do great. Sending well wishes your way! P.S. Love that you say little raspberry, seems fitting for you :)

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Jen     at 1:47 pm

I know that you really have no idea who I am, but I am SO very excited for you! The first pregnancy is truly magical. Try and enjoy it…all of it, because in the blink of an eye, your little wonder will be in your arms and you will be more in love than you ever thought possible.

Again, I know you don’t know me, but if you ever need to chat, ask a question, whatever, I’m always around! I’m a mom to 3 and love talking baby talk :)

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Lori     at 1:52 pm

I totally remember going through that when I was pregnant! My husband wouldn’t let me read books or look at the internet because there was so much out there that worried me. And they always print the worst/scariest things!

Take a deep breath relax knowing that you are not alone :)

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Abby     at 2:02 pm

October 15th? That’s the day before my birthday!! :-) congratulations, lady! Try not to worry so much about all of the stuff that could go wrong… a lot of times that’s over-medicalized, and besides, stressing probably isn’t the best for your kid-to-be. You seem to be one of the healthiest people ever… you’ll be fine!

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Tara     at 2:15 pm

Emily – I am so excited for you and Casey. This is going to be a marvelous and wonderful journey. We are 22 weeks and every little change captures our breath and puts a twinkle in our eye. Cherish this time because boy does it fly by! Our many congratulations to you – good luck tomorrow. I remember the fear, excitement, and impatience when we had our first appointment.

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Lauren     at 2:33 pm

SO SO SO EXCITED. Why am I so excited!? I don’t even ‘know’ you! Blogging is funny :)haha. Good luck tomorrow! Deep breath :)

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Haley     at 3:05 pm

As an OB/GYN nurse (and seeing that you’re carrying my second cousin) the biggest piece of advice that I can give you (and all your pregnant readers) is to STAY OFF THE INTERNET!!

I’m beyond excited for the little raisinette to join the family!! Reading about how you told Casey & the moments after were so sweet & touching. I love you both and cannot wait for what the future holds!

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melissa daams     at 3:13 pm

i originally started following your blog because i liked a few recipes you posted -back when you did that foodbuzz contest… but i’m so hooked on your pregnancy now… keep it coming – yes, the story of you – it’s very exciting and interesting to me. I love a good baby story :)

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Mary     at 3:32 pm

Emily, have you considered finding a practice with midwives (CNMs)? Please do. My sister is a midwife (having received an MPH from a prestigious university) and she cares very much about her patients and seems to alleviate patient anxiety in an extremely kind and informative way.

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Emily Malone Reply:

I’m definitely going to look into that! I watched the Business of Being Born and it made me really want to consider our options.

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kelsey @ un-american in france     at 3:41 pm

Have fun in Seattle! If you haven’t been there, you’ll love it! I am from there and would happy to meet up with you… if it weren’t for the fact that I’m living in France at the moment! Good luck at your appointment, I’m sure everything will be a-okay!

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Madelyn     at 4:02 pm

SO EXCITING! And even more exciting is that fact that your little one’s due date is my wedding day :) So many reasons to be happy and celebrate!!!

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Emily E.     at 4:34 pm

I am so excited for you, Emily! I am an ob-gyn in Dallas and a mother of three little boys. Almost everyone is especially anxious during their first pregnancy, so you are not alone. I usually see my patients for their first prenatal visit at 6 weeks, so waiting until 10 weeks, seems a little long to me. Make sure that your ob really takes the time to talk to you and listen to all of your concerns. Don’t feel bad about changing doctors if you don’t get a good vibe with the first one you meet. Remember, not all ob’s are the same and some will be more receptive than others… For instance, I never mind if a patient wants to drop in just to hear the baby’s heartbeat on the doppler. If they are at home worrying about the baby, I would rather they come by the office and let me help calm them down and reassure them. Just food for thought!

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

I wish you weren’t so far away – I want you to be my doctor!! :)

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Beth     at 4:48 pm

I can feel your excitement through the screen! You are SO healthy and doing all the right things already, I hope you enjoy this!!

[Reply]

Anne     at 5:21 pm

Good luck!!!! :) Can’t wait to hear more!

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Olivia     at 6:41 pm

Hi!
Congrats to you and Casey and the little raspberry!
Not sure if sweet things are sounding good right now, but if they are, I really recommend checking out The Flying Apron while in Seattle! It’s a vegan, wheat free and gluten free bakery in Fremont with a focus on organic ingredients and with some items that are alternatively sweetened (maple syrup, agave, etc.) It is super delicious!
Also, I have to recommend Portage Bay Cafe
There are locations in the University District, South Lake Union and Ballard. It is a breakfast/lunch place that is completely to die for. It has an organic and local focus and so many good breakfasts it is hard to choose! Do expect a wait though, I’ve been many times and never gotten a table right away. Sorry if that was too many food recommendations, there are so many great places to eat in Seattle it’s hard to stop!

[Reply]

Katey @ Bonne Santé     at 6:48 pm

You are so gorgeous Emily! I think many of us have the tendency to jump on the anxiety bandwagon and obsess over all the things that could go wrong, no matter how minuscule the risk, but I sincerely wish you all the best in soaking up joy of pregnancy and staying positive! You are so healthy, happy and well-loved (Casey is so supportive!) and I just know your little family will be completely perfect! Another huge congrats!!!

[Reply]

Lisa     at 7:26 pm

That is so crazy that you have to wait so long for an appointment! I’m sure they are used to over-anxious pregnant women but I’d want to be seen ASAP!!

(I have a feeling I will be a very anxious pregnant person lol)

[Reply]

Kristen, Sweetly     at 7:55 pm

I am sorry to hear about the anxiety; I can relate to letting it become mildly crippling. Congratulations on the excitement!!! It’s definitely what needs to be going on right now in the Malone house. Risks and possibilities will just drive you crazy. Celebrate that raspberry! Hehehe. :-) Congratulations again, guys.

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Lauren @ Hungry Child in the City     at 8:07 pm

YAY!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! This is so exciting! Congrats to you and Casey. I can’t wait to read about your pregnancy adventures!!!!

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Melomeals: Vegan for $3.33 a Day     at 8:33 pm

Try to relax and trust your body! I know it’s hard.. but welcome to parenthood.. your entire world is out of your control now… It’s an amazing, terrifying and fascinating time…

and your body knows exactly what to do. We women have been doing this for thousands of years..

[Reply]

Dae     at 9:19 pm

Okay after being an avid daily reader of your blog ( after your guest blog on Sparkpeopel!)and just logging on after 5 days of no internet (the agonyyyyyy!!!) I just want to say a gr8 big CONGRATULATIONS to you an Casey on your baby… Wow!!!

[Reply]

Lee @ Fit Foodie Finds     at 9:47 pm

I have no words to explain how happy I am for you! eeeeee !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Sana     at 9:56 pm

I just can’t get over all the excitement! I loved your tweet today about your healthy baby!

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Meg     at 10:02 pm

So excited for you, I love your blog! Thanks for sharing the details, it gives women like me hope that conception will happen eventually.

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Katy     at 10:11 pm

Yeah! Exciting that you are coming to Seattle…I just hope our weather clears up for you a little. it rained 1.5 inches yesterday – YUCK!

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Susan Fine     at 10:25 pm

I would consider NOT finding out the baby’s gender. We waited both times, and it was wonderful to do so. Someone said to us early on, “It’s one of the only surprises left in life,” and so we waited. Most people don’t, but I’d recommend doing so. I am wondering what your exercise routine is now and what your plans are. I exercised throughout my second pregnancy, and it was great. I did a lot of swimming, even getting up to where I swam about a mile at a time, several times a week. I found that this was when I felt the very best — buoyant, weightless, floating — just like the baby inside. Don’t know whether this has all come up in the comments, as there are so many, and I couldn’t read all of them. People do have TONS of advice for pregnant women, and just wait until you’re a parent, then there’s even more… I, too, like advice and info a lot, but there will be times when you simply need to go with what feels right for you or what is do-able. There are tons and tons of STRONG opinions aroundn epidurals and breast feeding, and while we all want to do whatever we humanly can that’s in the best interest of our children, things don’t always work out according to our plans, and you need to be kind to and forgiving of yourself if your well-laid and carefully researched plans have to change. Welcome to the great parenting adventure!

[Reply]

Beth     at 10:45 am

Congrats Emily! That is so exciting! I am pregnant too, I think maybe just a week behind you. I have my first dr visit next Wednesday and I am scared…we haven’t really told any friends yet either. It is suck a weird and exciting time. I live in Seattle and would love to meet up with you and chat on your visit. I am in Lake Tahoe and fly back Saturday morning though. Have a great trip and I will keep checking in and seeing how everything is going :) love your blog and congrats again!!

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lani     at 12:20 pm

Emily, I realize I am late to the party here, but CONGRATULATIONS! So Very Exciting. I wish you and Casey all the best, and I know this will be a bit scary, but you will do just fine. Thanks for sharing your journey with all of us. :)

[Reply]

Jess     at 12:43 pm

Even with the morning sickness, you are glowing with joy!

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Gabrielle     at 2:24 pm

I love that you are referring to your baby as “the raspberry”! I have a friend who called hers “peanut”, and still calls her child, now almost 13, “Peanut”. :)

[Reply]

Monica     at 9:57 am

This is helpful to know that you got those cramps too! And I can totally relate to the anxiety of not being able to see a doctor yet. My husband and I are both losing it with so many questions and worries, but we still have a little ways to go before we can get to that first prenatal visit.

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Rachelle     at 11:40 pm

Oh! Your posts have given me tears.
Learning to deal w/ an anxious mind (like mine) is a well sought thing for a parent, as you won’t ever be the same. The popular saying goes “a part of your heart will always be outside of your body from now on”. The worrying never ends, but always, as you’ve pointed out in your post, enjoy the journey. Always enjoy the journey, because no matter the outcome, you can enjoy now (even if it is filled with puking :-p)

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Allison @ Happy Tales     at 5:43 pm

I am loving this new journey your are on, Emily. And I’m sure when that day comes for me, I will totally be able to relate to your struggles…as I myself deal with/have dealt with anxiety issues. It’s always a conscious effort to take things as they come and to not allow them to overwhelm me!

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angie     at 3:22 pm

I was the same way! My hubby kept saying I was so negative about it… I would say things like, if I am still pregnant… It was so hard waiting for the first appt! I didn’t really get sick either so I never “felt” pregnant and it always worried me! I still don’t “feel” pregnant! I hope I start feeling the baby since I am 18 weeks!

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Kelsey     at 6:39 pm

This post helped me so much! I am newly pregnant (7 weeks today).
I have been doing nothing but freaking out since I found out at 3 weeks.
I finally had my first prenantal appointment today, thinking I was 8 weeks. I am actually 7 weeks. But, we still heard the heart beat and saw the little peanut!
I am so excited…. and reading that I am not the only one that freaks out is great.
I just wish that maybe technology wasnt was great as it is because it is true that a lot of the websites are really scary!
I was so releived when the doctor said “Well, the baby is in your uterus”…. :)
Its so funny what makes us pregnant women happy.

[Reply]

Lauri (Redheadrecipes.com)     at 11:17 am

We just found out a few weeks ago that we are expecting April 2012!! We had our first US about a week ago (We were able to SEE the heartbeat, but it was still to early to HEAR it). I am about 9 weeks now and it has been so comforting to go back through all of your posts!! Its amazing how similar we women are! I have been freaking out about having a miscarriage (more specifically a ‘missed miscarriage’) because at 9 weeks I have little to no symptoms (NO nausea, boobs are on slightly sore and this comes and goes) I am more tired than usual and I am drinking more water, but I don’t even know if I would notice these minor changes if I ‘didn’t know’. You are right about the pregnancy chat rooms–> They are very scary , and for some reason the commenters do talk a lot about miscarriages!!

Anyways, sorry to ramble on, but I just wanted to say THANK YOU for reminding me to stay calm and what will be will be. Just enjoy the moments, they pass quickly (You are already 34 weeks now!!)

[Reply]

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Lara     at 12:21 pm

I wish I had found this post 9 weeks ago when I was in the same position! Still, it’s nice to read it now and know that anxiety is not just something I’m prone to. Even at 14 weeks (tomorrow!) and many healthy doctor visits, I am worried all the time. Did you experience that, or did it go away after the first appointment?

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

I worried ALL the time! And now as a mom, I worry even more. It never ends – trust me. :) It’s normal and means you are a good mom because you care so much!

[Reply]

Kelsey     at 10:20 am

I just found out last week (5 weeks 2 days today) that I am pregnant and am going back through all your pregnancy posts with a new perspective. I am totally relating to all of this right now! I live in Seattle and my husband and I are planning on going with the Swedish Ballard Midwifery. I have my first 9 week appointment set up (which seems like forever from now!), but I can’t wait. We’re planning to do the centering classes, which I think you did as well. Anyways, I just want to tell you how grateful I am for your pregnancy posts! It’s hard not having anyone to talk to besides my husband right now.

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Ariel     at 11:48 am

OMG!!! normally I can’t relate to blogs..but this is seriously my life story!! my husband is in the military and we were out of VA too OBGYNs there weren’t what I imagined..we got orders to MS and while moving half the country again this time I was Pregnant and needed to find a doctor ASAP! finally found one when I was 14 weeks now im turning 17 wks and due on Sep 28 2012..Things were ironing out until my husband found out he’s getting deployed a few weeks before my due date…and thats where we’re at..sorry to take over your blog but I can SERIOUSLY relate!

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Fina     at 1:06 pm

This is so weird.. I just happened to stumple upon your blog just now while I’m lying (uncomfortably) in bed. Googled for “week 28 pregnancy” and your blog came up. I read this post and saw that we have the exact same due date! You know, plus a year for me. My due date is october 15th 2012! Isn’t that weird? =) When did he/she arrive? I’m negotiating already with the little guy in my tummy that it’s tooootally fine if he wants to come a week or two early.. but what’s the odds of that happening.. =/ Thanks for a great blog.

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Some pregnant women are experiencing anxiety attacks during their pregnancy. These tips that you have shared are truly very effective in dealing with this condition. Thanks for sharing.

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Alyssa     at 7:11 am

I love this…I can totally relate :-)
I made it my personal mission to simply allow myself to be excited. I knew that there was nothing I could do to cause or prevent any possibilities, so worrying about them was entirely pointless

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