about me

    Emily Malone

    culinary arts grad. nutrition facts lover. vegetarian chef. marathon runner. country music maniac. failed dog trainer. barre fanatic. loving mama.

    Contact Emily

    EmilyBMalone@gmail.com

    Search

    What’s Cooking?

    Personal Bests

    5K - 23:28

    10K - 52:35

    15K - 1:38:14

    1/2 Marathon - 1:57:39

    Marathon - 3:50:58

    A Look Back.



Failing My Gestational Diabetes Test.

As I’m sitting here in between blood draws for my three-hour glucose screening test, it seems like a good time to fill you guys in on the previous test that I failed

To back up a little, you may remember back a few weeks ago when I mentioned that I was worried that I might be at risk for gestational diabetes.  I was experiencing some pretty intense thirst, even beyond the normal thirst that tends to come with pregnancy

Because I was worried, I called my midwife office and told them what I was experiencing, and asked if I should possibly take the test a bit early.  They told me the thought it was fine to wait, and that I’d be able to take my test somewhere around my next appointment date.

Wednesday afternoon I headed to my appointment as usual, and was shocked when I arrived to see the midwife handing out glucose drinks to our group.  (I do combined childbirth class/checkups in a group setting, which I will write more about later.)  Everyone I know that has done the glucose screening test has had notice and time to prepare – carefully selecting meals before the test.

I walked into the office having NO idea I’d be taking it, and immediately started panicking that I knew I would fail.  Literally 30 minutes before I left for the hospital I had been scarfing down my lunch – a big bowl of tomato soup and an avocado English muffin sandwich.  I also decided that polishing off the last few bites of almond milk chocolate ice cream sounded like a good way to end my lunch.  WHOOPS.

Had I known I was going to be given this bottle of orange goo at my appointment, I would have eaten much much differently that day.

2011-07-20 15.10.33 (480x640)

But I had no real choice, so I slurped down the syrup and hoped for the best, all the while knowing that my chances for passing were not good.  The 50g glucose drink was disgusting and burned my throat.  Other girls in the class easily chugged it, while I seemed to need the entire five minutes to gag it down. 

2011-07-20 15.10.44 (480x640)

Yesterday morning the nurse from my midwife office called with my results.  Just as predicted, I had failed.  My glucose levels needed to be under 135 for a passing result.  Mine was 169 – not even close.  I don’t know much about blood sugar and how much levels can vary, but I worry that my level was SO high above the allotted range, and what that means for my next test.

2011-07-20 15.24.29 (480x640)

They strongly recommended that I get the official 3-hour glucose screening within a few days of the first one, in order to be able to make a concrete diagnosis.  Since I am going out of town tonight (!), I had to scramble to fit myself into a 7am appointment this morning.  So now I’m sitting here sleepy, full of 100g of glucose, and with bruises lining my arms from all the pricking and blood work.  I’m hoping I’ll know the results soon.

I’ll be honest and tell you that as soon as I got off the phone with the nurse, even though in my heart I just knew I would fail the test, I put my head down on the dining room table and started sobbing.

I felt like such a huge failure.  Everyone has worked hard to reassure me that gestational diabetes is something that can happen to anyone, and while I’m doing my best to believe that, it’s hard to not feel responsible and embarrassed.  I also feel…confused.  I exercise regularly and eat healthier than most people I know, but still I can’t stop second guessing all the rootbeers and popsicles I’ve treated myself to throughout this pregnancy.

It is hard for me to believe that I am not at least partly responsible for this, when the treatment plan for dealing with gestational diabetes is essentially to eat a well-balanced diet and get enough exercise.  Wasn’t I doing that already?

Once of my least charming qualities is that I tend to be a major control freak.  I work hard to control my life and my surroundings.  Sometimes I take it too far and even try to control the people around me.  It’s not a characteristic that I’m proud of, and it’s something I’ve worked very hard to let go of in recent years.  I am not perfect, but I am getting better.

When I was 18 weeks pregnant, I found out that my thyroid wasn’t functioning correctly, and I was put on medication to correct the problem.  I was devastated, and once again I felt that I had done something to cause this.  Even though I know the intentions were good, hearing suggestions like “eat less soy” or “eat more greens” only intensified the feeling that perhaps this was a result of my actions.

Failing the gestational diabetes test has brought back a lot of those same feelings.  Whether or not I pass or fail the 3-hour test, I’m definitely going to cut back on my sugar levels from here on out.  I would eat dirt for 13 weeks if I thought it would help my baby have a safe arrival into the world. 

Pregnancy has been a very humbling experience. It has forced me to let go of control and learn to give into natural changes that come with such an amazing physical transformation.  Most of the changes have been good.  Every day I see my giant round belly and smile.  Other changes, like thyroid levels and sugar metabolism are simply beyond my control.

Crossing my fingers that the three-hour test is a success!  I’ll keep you guys posted as soon as I know something.  One more blood draw until I’m home getting ready to get a plane tonight and head to the beach!

For some more upbeat pregnancy talk, here are a few other places you can find me recently…

I wrote an article called Eating for Two in the July/August 2011 issue of Breathe Magazine!

Breathe_JulAug11_Cover_FINAL.indd  breathe

And of course, the latest on Babble

See you from South Carolina!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

191 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Paige     at 1:09 pm

I am honestly so angry on your behalf. I can’t believe that a medical establishment would literally ambush a patient with an important test like that, especially when that patient is a hormonal pregnant woman. WHY? So unnecessary. I think that eating lunch right before the test would have a huge impact on the results (I mean…there’s a reason why they make you fast for the 3-hour test, right?) but I’m no gyno or nutritionist, so maybe I’m being silly. I hope you’re getting good results on that test right now!

[Reply]

Caitlin Reply:

Agreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[Reply]

Reading (and chickens)     at 1:10 pm

Oh, I know that feeling of failure too well. I felt it yesterday when I SCREAMED at my six-year-old instead of calmly talking to him. It’s hard for me as a mom to separate myself from my children–I’m so panicked when they’re sick, questioning what I could have done better. But you know you’re doing everything you can, and that’s what matters most!

[Reply]

Sara N.     at 1:12 pm

Hi Emily! I stumbled upon your blog from Eat, Live, Run and have enjoyed reading about your journey ever since. It must be so hard to be enduring this pressure. You have so many positive things going for you with healthy eating and exercise! Hang in there! You are strong!

[Reply]

chloe @ 321delish     at 1:12 pm

I work with a nutritionist who was JUST telling me yesterday that she failed her first gestational diabetes test! LIKE YOU- she eats exceptionally! She ended up passing the second test, and continuing to eat the way she had and she has a beautiful healthy baby girl.

Keep your head up :) Its going to be ok!

[Reply]

Brittany (A Healthy Slice of Life)     at 1:14 pm

I remember feeling like it was my fault when I failed the first test, too. Especially when people told me I shouldn’t have eaten. I felt like people were looking at me thinking ‘I thought you were supposed to be a healthy role model??’ But guess what, no one was thinking that, and I realize that now that I’m distanced from the experience.

I hope you’re getting through the 3 hour ok, but even if you don’t ‘pass’ it (what a horrible way to put it!), please know it isn’t your fault. After researching I learned that the placenta can effect normal insulin functioning and that there is nothing you can do about it.

This is just making sure that Baby C is watched after carefully to make a healthy entrance into the world- which I have no doubt he will. And he is lucky to have such a HEALTHY momma!

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Thanks Brittany! :)

[Reply]

Laine     at 1:16 pm

Remember that just because your midwife/doctor/anybody hands you something and says “do this/drink this/eat this/let us do this to your body” doesn’t mean you have to do it.

You can say “no, I need more time to research this, no I’m not ready, no I’d like to talk to you more about this.”

Use that control freak-ness to your benefit and instead of questioning your body and your behavior, question the people you are hiring to help you through this.

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Very true, and good food for thought.

[Reply]

Erin     at 1:18 pm

Whether you have GD or not you are nothing close to a failure! Lets save that term for people smoking crack during pregnancy..OK:)There is nothing you can do to prevent getting GD. I gained way more weight than I should have and didn’t have it. The woman next to me during my test was a tiny little thing and she said she had it with her first.

Even if you do have your baby will be fine. You eat properly and exercise. Both of which are necessary for GD. Good luck and either way you are doing a great job!

[Reply]

Holly @ RUST BELT RUNNER     at 1:19 pm

At this point in the game, try not to work yourself up too much. Basically it sounds like anyone would have failed.

I’m sure there is a reason they normally have that 3 hour period.

Considering you did not have that 3 hours I think it’s hard to make any judgement on this.

Easier said than done, I’m sure. Hang in there.

[Reply]

Lindsay     at 1:20 pm

That magazine cover photo and artwork is beautiful!!

Thinking about you, Emily.

[Reply]

Jen     at 1:20 pm

Hi Emily!!
I am a Registered Dietitian and Certified Diabetes Educator. Gestational Diabetes can happen to anyone. It has NOTHING to do with what you ate/didn’t eat/exercise/etc the whole pregnancy- it has everything to do with hormones. Because your hormones are elevated during pregnancy this creates insulin resistance in your body. (Meaning the insulin your pancreas produces isn’t working as effectively as normal) Every pregnant woman has some form of insulin resistance but when it reaches a certain point (aka you fail the test) it can become dangerous for the baby.

It’s sooo important that you don’t change what you “normally” eat before the test, so you did the right thing. The test is not a “grade” or anything like that- it’s to see if your body can “handle” that much sugar in a safe way. That’s all. The problem is when you can’t handle the sugar… then the glucose spills over to the baby and he will grow too much… and you don’t want to give birth to a 10 lb child :)

If you are diagnosed with GDM, I have a feeling you will do great based on what I’ve read from your blog! The key is to check your blood sugars frequently so you know how your body handles meals and snacks. The goals I tell my clients are <95 mg/dL fasting and <130 mg/dL after meals and snacks. You do want to be careful of carbohydrates (watch your portion sizes), plan meals to eat something every few hours, and be really careful of the refined sugars in your diet because they really raise your blood sugar.

If you need any help just email me at eatwithknowledge@gmail.com! (My website isn't up yet). Like I said this is my specialty!
Jen

[Reply]

Elizabeth Reply:

I’m no dietitian but I agree with EVERYTHING she wrote based on what I researched before doing my GD test. I especially agree with not changing what you eat prior to taking the test. My friend ate a bunch of sweets throughout the pregnancy and luckily didn’t have GD but that doesn’t mean anything. I’ve had friends who don’t have GD in the first pregnancy and then do for the second. Don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s nothing you have done wrong.

[Reply]

colleen Reply:

I’m not in the medical field but agree with everything Jen stated. I failed all three of my 1-hour tests but passed my 3-hour tests. After every single 1-hour test failure – especially the first one – I questioned myself and the food I was eating. Luckily my doctor helped me understand everything. Don’t put too much stress and pressure on yourself to control or pass every test – it is nerve racking and unhealthy.

[Reply]

Erin Reply:

wow great way of explaining it all!

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Thank you, Jen. This was very helpful and reassuring!

[Reply]

Shanna Reply:

Agree times 1000! It seems a little odd to me to change your diet before the test…Don’t you want to see how your body deals with your every-day diet?

[Reply]

AJ Reply:

I am also a dietitian and I too agree, you are much better off eating normally beforehand and the term ‘fail’ is a silly one, you haven’t failed anything!

[Reply]

Jess@atasteofconfidence     at 1:24 pm

Do not feel guilty! You are healthy and are providing very well for your little baby. Don’t worry about it yet!

[Reply]

María     at 1:31 pm

Oh, I had my test this morning but it was a little different: 12 hour fast (terrible),one blood extraction at 7 am, then the glucose liquid, a 2 hour wait and another blood extraction. I guess, different countries, different methods.
(I’m from Argentina)
Anyway, the waiting room was super crowded, 3 pregnant ladies almost fainted, one was even sent home and told to come back again Monday, I felt super nauseous… I’ll do anything for my baby but it was an awkard moment.

[Reply]

Carly (Swim, Run, Om) Reply:

I wasn’t pregnant, but I had to have this test a couple of years ago, and this is exactly how I took it … probably different doctors, different methods?

[Reply]

Carol     at 1:33 pm

Don’t be so hard on yourself!! You are taking WONDERFUL care of yourself and baby C! Anyone can “fail” regardless of what they eat, didn’t eat, exercise, etc., etc. I was SO surprised I “passed” my test when I was pregnant!! I ate about 50 pounds of BROWNIES! Actually, the day of my test my doctor looked at my weight – what it was @ 4 weeks and then that day; he then proceeded to let out a huge sigh and asked me in bewilderment, “you’ve already gained 40 punds?!?!” How’s that for a morale booster! I still had 14 weeks to go.

Anyway, whatever the outcome, you will be fine. There is a solution to every problem. Now, most importantly, have a great time on your vacation and enjoy the last few days with your sister!

[Reply]

RhodeyGirl     at 1:37 pm

Thank you for being so honest as usual.

Failing the test has NOTHING to do with anything that you’ve done. Just remember that!

[Reply]

Katie KS     at 1:43 pm

That is bizarre that they didn’t tell you ahead of time! Both pregnancies, they sent me with the drink at my 24-week appt with instructions to drink it right before I came in for my 28-week (carefully noting the time I started drinking so they could draw blood exactly an hour later). I scheduled that appt for first thing in the a.m. so I basically drank the drink for breakfast. (I agree – gaggy. I was told to drink it with a straw which I think helps.) Then, I treated myself to an egg and cheese bagel at Panera :)

I hope you pass this one, but you, of anyone, will have no trouble following the dietary guidelines if you do not! And don’t blame yourself. I eat a lot of ice cream but passed. It’s your body not your choices!

[Reply]

Shannon @ My Place In The Race     at 1:52 pm

I have a friend that failed her first test but passed the 3 hour test with flying colors! Keep your chin up! You are so healthy and doing a great job!! You are so not a failure AT ALL! Everyone’s body i reacts differently. Best of luck with this test! XOXO

[Reply]

ally@girlVfood     at 1:55 pm

I DEFINITELY think eating before the test had a lot to do with it! I had a test for mono one time and they said my blood sugar was extraordinarily high, but I had eaten a banana just prior to the test and that was the reason why it was so off.

You are one of the healthiest pregnant women I have ever seen. I’m sure you’ll be fine.

[Reply]

Melissa @ HerGreenLife     at 1:58 pm

Definitely a lot you can’t control. Our birth plans went out the window due to a couple of factors, and it’s hard not to be plagued by the what-ifs.

In the end, I have a healthy 11-day-old baby boy, and that is the most important thing.

Your first test may have also been a false alarm. We had some bad experiences in the hospital with our baby testing positive (falsely) for an infection, which led to lots of needless worry and heartache.

All the best!

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Congrats on your baby boy! 11 days – how exciting. :)

[Reply]

Maryann     at 2:14 pm

Keep your chin up and stop blaming yourself. The 3 hour will definately be more accurate. You should fast before any glucose test for accuracy. Whatever happens you are a strong woman and soon to be mother.
Have a blessed vacation. Wish I had time off right now. 100* here in Lancaster PA.

[Reply]

Ang     at 2:16 pm

Don’t blame yourself for this! I had such bad morning sickness that when I was able to eat again I ate so much junk! I also got very little exercise and my test went fine. So if diet played a major role in the result I would definitely have failed! Being pregnant makes things unpredicatable as it just throws your whole body out of whack! I hope your 3 hour test goes well!

[Reply]

Emily     at 2:24 pm

This is totally not your fault. The nature of pregnancy is that you can do everything right and still get some issues like this.

You are already a good, responsible mother who does so many more things right than your average person. Some things are just bad luck.

[Reply]

Sara@BakingandWine     at 2:29 pm

Oh my gosh, it was totally the ice cream and lunch! I agree that they definitely should have warned you so you could be prepared. You’re not supposed to eat anything sugary or carby before hand. How rude of them!

I bet you pass the 3 hour with flying colors. And if you don’t, oh well! GD is easily controlled with diet and it’s only for the duration of pregnancy. So many women get it. Are you on a birth board on babycenter? If so, just watch for posts in the next few weeks, you will see 20 “I failed my glucose test” threads pop up every day.

Keep your head up!

[Reply]

Gina @ Running to the Kitchen     at 2:37 pm

Fingers crossed for you on the results of this test. What you eat can have a huge effect on sugar levels so I hope it’s that.
You are NOT a failure :)

[Reply]

Therese     at 2:37 pm

I’m so sorry you’re feeling like a failure and I hope today’s test has a better outcome! However, from the outside looking in I was thinking something different… this is proof that sometimes you CAN do everything right and s#it still happens. I’m rooting for you!

If your diagnosis is still worst-case scenario, there’s still a bright side: I have a (health-minded) co-worker who was surprisingly diagnosed with gestational diabetes and was able to control it without medication for the remainder of her pregnancy.

Either way, I have faith that you’ve done everything right. Don’t blame yourself!

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Very good point – thank you so much!

[Reply]

Emily     at 2:43 pm

OMG, educate yourself. Thyroid medication is not “medication.” It’s a hormone. Your body needs it and so does your baby. I read your blog daily and am sometimes concerned about your reactions to things. They seem really overblown and dramatic. The matter of fact way you write about them makes it seem like everyone around you kind of tolerates your hysteria. If you get this upset over thyroid levels and glucose tests, how are you going to handle a big whammy or gasp! a birth plan that doesn’t go your way. I think you are really setting yourself up for post-partum depression. You really, really need consider therapy and letting go of some of these extreme reactions.

[Reply]

Sana Reply:

I am not sure if this comment is appropriate, however everyone is entitled to their own opinion, maybe you should have e-mailed Emily and expressed your concerns.

[Reply]

Emily Reply:

Disagree. I think it’s inappropriate to not address how dramatic she makes every single experience. Bringing a child into this world is a huge responsibility and this is just one bump in the road of many. You are all “rah rah rahing” her to death, so she’s never going to realize there are options and methods of coping than putting your head down on a table and sobbing because you may or may not have elevated insulin levels.

[Reply]

Pete Reply:

I read this blog daily also and have the same concern. The reactions to the manageable minor medical issues, normal weight gain, potential for stretch marks, and the ups and downs of pregnancy seem way overblown. There are some high highs and low lows that come with being a new parent and I worry about Emily’s ability to overcome the momentary lows without falling apart emotionally. Emily, I’ve read your blog since the CinWeekly days and really enjoy your writing. I hope your GD test goes well (my wife had to take the 3 hour test for baby #2 and passed it) and I wish you and your family the best as you prepare for the baby’s arrival. Please know that it won’t be easy and please consider what the commenter Emily is saying.

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Hi Pete – thanks for reading for so long! I’m surprised by your comment though. Diabetes and thyroid problems while yes, manageable, are also NOT in any way trivial. So I think if I was NOT concerned about them, that would be much more concerning. As for your remarks about my reactions to “normal weight gain” and “potential for stretch marks” I honestly I have no idea what you’re talking about. It is easy to forget that WRITING about something is not the same as complaining or overreacting. I write for a living, so it’s only natural that I bring up more topics and share more than the average person. I think my hopes and excitements, as well as worries and fears are pretty standard for most pregnant women.

[Reply]

Pete Reply:

Hi Emily and thanks for responding. Your points are good ones. Maybe this blog post struck me in a way that was different than the intent of the post. I regretted the use of the word “minor” after I commented about thyroid and GD since those are not minor. I appreciate your response to my comment and the others. I hope my comment came across as respectful of you and your blog because that was certainly my intent. Best wishes to you and Casey…you have so much to look forward to and you will learn a lot together, especially in those first few months. It is a lot of fun and tremendously rewarding, even in those inevitable moments when you have no idea what you are doing (and then you figure it out…most of the time!). Have fun on vacation and enjoy the time together. BTW, I saw you made reference on twitter one time to Poco a Poco, so my wife and I tried it when we were visiting my in-laws in Cincy. We loved it! Hyde Park is the best.

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Glad you liked Poco! My sister has been a hostess there – one of my favorite spots.

Ellie Reply:

I agree with Pete’s points for the most part. I’m a HUGE fan of this blog and Emily’s thoughtful writing. I always notice and appreciate it when Emily writes about her occasional anxiety issues because I have suffered from anxiety for almost the entirety of my life. However, even coming from this perspective, it’s hard not to think that a more realistic take on how common some of these issues, such as gestational diabetes, are, and how treatable they are, would be more beneficial than focusing on them. But I also recognize that it’s part of Emily’s job to write, in articles and here, about her experiences with pregnancy. I’ve come a long way in dealing with my anxiety about most issues and recognize that everyone has some issues that are especially difficult for them.

[Reply]

Brittany Reply:

I think you need to calm yourself a little bit… Everyone handles things differently. Plus, no one is forcing you to read this blog, so if you don’t agree with Mrs. Malone, then don’t read what she writes. I agree with Sana… it would be less crass to email her, instead of blowing up this “problem” where everyone can see it.

[Reply]

Leanne (Bride to Mrs.) Reply:

I don’t think Emily (as in Emily, the blogger here) is the first person to ever worry about failing this gestational diabetes test.. by her blogging about this honestly, maybe someone else will feel comfort or know they aren’t alone.

I have the upmost respect & admiration for Emily because she isn’t scared to tell it like it is, from her perspective.

If you have nothing nice to say, then stop reading her blog & stop leaving nasty comments… there’s no point in spreading negativity and telling someone they have to get over their “issues.”

Have some manners okay? :)

[Reply]

Sarah Reply:

Anything you take in pill form is considered medication. There are probably no hormone ingredients in the medication.

You are also not a part of Emily’s everyday life so maybe you should not pretend like you know everything that goes on in the house. Casey seems supportive as does her family. Don’t jump to conclusions based on the little snippets of Emily’s life that you do see.

I would like to see you try and maintain an honest and open blog to the whole world and then see how you respond when people critique you.

Pete – I am sorry but have you ever been pregnant – and do’t say you know how it is because of your wife… you are not a female….you have never been pregnant … you don’t know what it is like.

[Reply]

Meghan Reply:

Pete If you never write another opinion about what it is like to be pregnant it will be too soon. I mean unless I’m missing something and you have a womb or you have been pregnant or have had a flippin baby!! Give me a break!

[Reply]

Alexis Reply:

As much as I really love reading this blog and appreciate the transparency and honesty I sort of have to agree that some things seem to be blown out of proportion. Not saying that I’ve never had my moments (who hasn’t?), but over everything is bit worrisome. I’ve always wondered if it had something to do with your father leaving during your teens? I don’t want to speculate or make assumptions but there have been instances (not being able to help with the cross country move because it was too stressful?)where I think that some professional help would be beneficial to the whole family.

Again, I don’t mean this in a mean, cruel, or hurtful way AT ALL; I just feel there are some underlying issues that could be addressed.

[Reply]

Cheryl Reply:

“not being able to help with the cross country move because it was too stressful?”

Moving almost always is stressful that is unless you have someone planning the move for you. I believe Emily was smart in identifying this stressful situation and avoiding this stress while pregnant. By doing so she was keeping her baby safe. This is not to say that she would have harmed her baby while moving but why add unnecessary stress?

[Reply]

Alexis Reply:

Ok – maybe not the best example. There are plenty of other times where there was an epic meltdown for something completely minor. Again, who hasn’t done that? But when it’s over everything, one has to wonder if there are other underlying problems. And I completely agree that she seems to be set up for a case of post-partum.
I very much enjoy this blog, and that’s why I question somethings; it can be concerning.

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

To clarify on your speculation, I did not “not help with our cross country move” because I was too fragile to deal with it. In fact, I helped quite a bit. I organized our entire move, planned the driving route and booked all hotels, organized many many flights and other transportation details, and then unpacked and managed every piece of the move on the Seattle end. To say I did not help is very insulting. I did not go on the drive for a number of reasons, one of which was my anxiety. Other reasons were that I was also attending my sister’s baby shower, and that I knew a 3,000 mile drive while pregnant would be very uncomfortable. My husband and family agreed that we came up with the best solution that worked out well for us.

I absolutely do not melt down about everything, and I realize that it’s hard for you to know that through small samples of writing. I guess that is the nature of the blog.

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Hi Emily. Funny, I think your reaction seems a bit overblown and dramatic, so to each his own. Also, you don’t know what kind of medication I’m taking for my thyroid, so the “educate yourself” piece is really unnecessary. I don’t think I bring about mass hysteria, and the fact that the people around me “tolerate” it should show you that perhaps it is not as severe as you are implying. I have been honest on here that I do suffer from some anxiety issues. I have done a lot of work to deal with those, including therapy, as you mentioned. I feel very prepared and excited to bring a child into the world, no matter the circumstances.

[Reply]

Cyclist Kate Reply:

just fyi, I’ve been on Synthroid for 10 years and I’ve always called it “my thyroid meds.” Never had a problem with people understanding what I’m talking about! Also, I think it’s important to remember that there are many, many factors that influence the development of postpartum depression and it’s not exactly somebody “sets herself up” for–Emily has every right in the world to want to be her absolute healthiest for her baby and I think that her care indicates that she will likely be a very loving, wonderful mother. Rock on, Emily! Remember that you don’t need to take others’ projections personally–comments like this usually come from unresolved issues your commenters have going on in their own lives and nothing to do with you.

[Reply]

Bethany Reply:

Thank you for addressing the “setting yourself up for post partum depression”. My jaw dropped when it seemed implied that one controls the chances of post partum depression. I would be more worried if Emily wasn’t stressed about a move cross county and her unborn child’s development. Now if this was her third child and she was flipping out over a glucose test then maybe it would be strange. But even then I’d say kudos for being human!

[Reply]

Shanna Reply:

Emily (blogger, not poster), great response. One of my biggest turn-offs for bloggers is when they get catty to mean commenters. Way to express yourself eloquently and forcefully while not getting in the mud. You are a role model for many things!

[Reply]

Emily Reply:

I have to say I agree with Shanna and I’m also really impressed with your replies to commenters who don’t agree 100% with what you say or do. It really bothers me when a commenter will bring up a point of discussion even very respectfully and the blogger gets defensive and acts as if this person is attacking her. It’s just another reason why I read your blog. :)

I hope everything goes well with the test and and that you enjoy your vacation!

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Thanks guys! What’s the point if it’s not a discussion, right?

[Reply]

Jordan Wandfluh Reply:

Emily M. do not listen to these people. If they don’t like what you write then they don’t have to read YOUR blog. This blog is your life, your journal. It is your outlet to real life which means it will sound different than your actual every day life. I had a cousin who committed suicide from Postpartum depression and for them to go that far to say you are setting yourself up for that is VERY wrong. I felt insulted reading these comments they wrote to you.

I want you to know I look up to you and I one day want to be a mom just as you are. I also have anxiety issues and I try to organize my life to the very last second. I hope one day I am able to meet you. You really bring joy into my life.

I also want people to realize you are pregnant and pregnant women are very emotional.

You are amazing :)

[Reply]

Jordan Wandfluh Reply:

Also I hope this doesn’t stop you from talking about certain subjects!

[Reply]

laura Reply:

I agree! this is YOUR BLOG. I am all for discussion, however, when I read your blog I think that you keep everything honest and I love that about you. To imply that you are out of the norm is ridiculous to me. You have a right to how you feel and not everyone has to agree, however, they could respectfully disagree.
I also hope this does not change the topics of what and how much you share with us.

[Reply]

Annie H. Reply:

Wow, what a really unkind thing to say. As if someone could “set themselves up” for post-partum depression, or conversely be able to completely protect themselves from it. Maybe you are the one who needs to educate yourself.

Emily, I appreciate your honesty about what’s going on in your head during your pregnancy. Many of my friends have expressed similar concerns. Thanks for sharing your emotions with us; I know lots of women can relate.

[Reply]

Tiffany     at 2:52 pm

You are no failure!!! I don’t care if you turn out to have GD or not, you eat that popsicle and drink that root beer! (OK, unless they tell you it really is bad or something.) You are insanely healthy; from some of the other comments here, it really seems like this is not within your control. So chin up. :)

In other news I am going to fail at pregnancy, because I can tell you my list of eating “vices” will be a lot worse than popsicles and root beer…

[Reply]

Heidi     at 2:58 pm

I completely understand where you are coming from. When you have all these pregnancy hormones flowing through your body and are trying so hard to be healthy for the baby, it can be devasting to think that it somehow wasn’t enough. I failed the GD 1 hr test twice (and passed both 3 hours) but each time the nurse called to tell me I didn’t pass, I disolved in a puddle of tears because I had been eating healthy foods and exercising all along. I was also feeling sort of angry because a lot of my pregnant friends were indulging in ice cream and junk and passed their 1 hr test with flying colors!

I also understand how you feel about the thyroid meds. I felt the same way after my 2nd pregnancy-I had pre-eclampsia and my blood pressure refused to go down after delivery. I have always been in shape, so I was so frustrated that my BP was all of a sudden hard to control and I had to take meds for it. Again-tears. After about 8 weeks it was back to normal and all was well. You’ll be okay too. Promise. :)

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Hi Heidi! Thanks for helping me see that I was not alone or crazy for my reaction. I feel much better today and am not as worried about it, but I think it was pretty normal to be upset hearing the initial news.

[Reply]

Miranda Reply:

Hi Emily, I am not pregnant and don’t have any kids, but my best friend is a midwife and one of the most common things she tells me about is ‘mother’s guilt’ so to speak, where women worry about things they can’t do anything about – i.e. gestational diabetes. You are definitely not crazy, or alone – from what I can tell from Penny’s stories, almost every mother has a case of ‘this is my fault’ at some point in her pregnancy, where the mother is definitely NOT at fault.

Not only did you have to worry about the possibility of GD, you had to do it while your body is absolutely crazy flooded with all kinds of hormones. I would say that those two things combined do not make a mother-to-be calm and comfortable!

I have never gotten any vibe from your blog other than that you are anxious to give your baby the healthiest, safest pregnancy that you possibly can. I think that you already are such a fantastic mum, and your little baby boy is so lucky to have you :) I work in family law, and I only wish that my clients had even half of the concern for their children that you do. You are what we in my profession would call ‘child-focused’, and trust me, there’s no higher praise from a family lawyer!!

[Reply]

Nicole     at 3:02 pm

Stay positive Emily! You are NOT a failure! You have been the most cautious woman i know with your pregnancy and have made all the right choices. Take it one day at a time and do whatever you need to do to keep you and your baby healthy and happy!

[Reply]

Erin @ Big Girl Feats     at 3:08 pm

I’m really sorry to hear your test didn’t go as you’d hoped! I hope the 3 hour test turns out to be negative. I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in November, and any positive test or result that came back felt like a major “failure” of mine. I worked with a counselor who really helped me see that I couldn’t control any aspect of it (besides eating well, exercising and doing happy things for myself) and that sometimes crappy stuff happens.

You should be proud that you’re treating yourself and Baby G with such care and respect, and that you’re striving to be as healthy as possible! Hope you have a great weekend!

[Reply]

Pam     at 3:09 pm

Honestly, some of the healthiest, most athletic women I know have developed gestational diabetes during their pregnancy, two of whom are pregnant right now. I think it’s just what happens to bodies sometimes, and you’ll find that your commitment to taking care of yourself will pay off for yourself in other ways. :)

[Reply]

Lisa Fine Reply:

I have a good friend who was also diagnosed with gestational diabetes during pregnancy, and she has always been a runner and a healthy eater.

Since then, though, she has pretty much followed the Zone style of eating, and the balance of carbs, protein, and fat have kept the diabetes at bay.

[Reply]

Renee B     at 3:10 pm

Sending you good vibes. I can’t imagine how stressful it is to be a first time mom, but I think you’re doing a great job! I hope you enjoy your trip! Safe travels :)

[Reply]

Staci     at 3:18 pm

Fellow control freak here.

I will say that you going through these obstacles now is a good precursor to what you’re about to face. You really have to be comfortable with the notion that all control is out the window when little C makes his entrance, arrives and then keeps you awake at night (from day 1 to year 18)!

Keep your chin up – I hope the 3-hour test was great!

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Thanks Staci! :)

[Reply]

Wendy     at 3:23 pm

Do NOT feel guilty at all! A few Popsicles and root beer? There’s nothing wrong with indulging a little bit every now and then! Don’t feel guilty for things that are totally beyond your control…trust me…as the mother of a teenager and pre-teen, there will be many more moments that you DO control to feel bad about later! Parenting is a great deal like white water rafting! You can study, prepare, and practice, but to a small degree you’re still somewhat at the mercy of the current. Pray and do your very best, but don’t forget to be kind to yourself and enjoy the ride!!!

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

I like that phrase “the mercy of the current.” Thanks! :)

[Reply]

Clare     at 3:26 pm

Take a deep breath, Emily X Chances are everything will be just fine and so will Baby C.
I know it seems just awful when there is even the slightest hint of a problem with your pregnancy but the doctors/midwives are there to take care of you and will help make things right. The RD’s advice above is very sensible and if it turns out that you have GD I’m sure you’ll have to do very little diet wise to keep things in check. Anyway, we could all do with a little less in the way of sweets, pregnant or not, right?
It seems that trying to carefully choose what to eat before a meal would be the wrong thing to do anyway as it wouldn’t give a true reading of your normal blood sugar levels? Perhaps that would have given an inaccurate result? Regardless, I agree that the glucose drink is absolutely repellant and so far from what you would ever normally consume; you think they would choose something that’s a bit more realistic wouldn’t you? Maybe a handful of dates or something?
Anyway, you should eliminate the word “fail” from your head; you didn’t fail anything…it’s just that your blood sugar is a little out of whack. If it is, no biggie…you’ll sort it out.
I do also know how hard it is to keep the control freakery under control in situations like these. I’m a TOTAL control freak and I really struggle with that as a mom. Situations like this one are good practice for all the unexpected things that life will throw your way when baby arrives :)
Keep Calm and Carry On.

[Reply]

Clare Reply:

Oops…that should have been “trying to choose what to eat before the test”. Duh.

[Reply]

Brittany @ Pretty Fit, Pretty Healthy, Pretty Happy     at 3:29 pm

Congrats on the article!

As for gestational diabetes, there was a professor at my college that was as skinny as could be and VERY healthy, but she had gestational diabetes during one of her pregnancies. While I’m sure sometimes it’s a product of choices made, it seems like in your case it’s something that happens. It doesn’t reflect poorly on your choices!! It sounds like you’ve been making great choices for you and your baby (even by living a little by treating yourself to a root beer!), so don’t be too hard on yourself.

And honestly, the thyroid issue was probably a family history thing that manifested itself through your hormone changes. It’s happened several times with women in my family (and will probably happen to me if/when I have a baby).

[Reply]

Kate     at 3:31 pm

Try not to worry too much! I’m not an expert, but from what I understand, there are a lot of false positives with the first test (which is why there is a second one) and many doctors recommend that you fast before the first test. Even if you do have gestational diabetes, please remember that thousands of healthy babies are born each year of mothers who have gestational diabetes–chances are you and your little man are both going to be just fine! (I’m saying this as much for you as for me–I have my first test next week!)

[Reply]

Elizabeth     at 3:39 pm

You are honestly quite possibly the healthiest person I know (even though I don’t really know you hehe). And you want your baby to be as healthy as possible, but a lot of things are just out of our control and it looks like this may just be one of those things. I understand how frustrating it must be to care about something so much and not be able to do anything about it. Heck I cry when I lose a client at work that I worked really hard to get.

I know that it must be very difficult to share things that affect you in this way because you’re always going to get some negative reactions to it. But I am grateful that you chose to because it’s available as a learning tool for folks like me looking for real life opinions and examples rather than just “scientific evidence”.

Who am I to say, but just take it one day at a time. To an outsider looking in, you are doing the best that you can. Let your body work it self out if it needs to.

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Thanks Elizabeth. I assume others have dealt with this as well, and hopefully writing about it can help someone else.

[Reply]

Sue     at 3:44 pm

As a mom with an 8 year old with Type 1 diabetes (my son was diagnosed at age 2, now on an insulin pump, so I’ve spent 6 years testing sugar and counting carbs), I can most assuredly tell you this:

Eating prior to a glucose test will have an ENORMOUS impact on the numbers!!

Though sugar can respond much more quickly when eaten on it’s own, a “meal” (a mix of carbs, protein, fat) will start to raise blood sugar within 15-20 minutes – the effects will last anywhere from 1.5-3 hours, with a peak somewhere in the middle (where exactly the peak occurs, and how high the effect on your blood sugar, will depend on what/how much you ate). For the meal you had, you could reasonably expect your blood sugar reading to be inaccurate for at least 2 hours after eating – I’m really surprised they didn’t give you any warning for the test, as even in my son’s case we can’t consider a BG reading accurate if it’s within 2 hours of him eating.

The thing with testing for diabetes is that you CAN’T “cheat” the test…that’s why you typically get notice for a glucose test. The only true way to be sure of a diabetes diagnosis is to check FASTING blood sugar – if your levels are elevated having not eaten for however many hours, it’s a clear diagnosis. Eating so soon prior to testing will absolutely hinder the results, I can’t make that point clearly enough.

In my son’s case, if I were to test him within 2 hours of a meal, I could easily see a number that would have us in panic mode were it a fasting number. Context is key when it comes to blood sugar and diabetes, so please know that there’s every chance that your initial result was seriously flawed. ((hugs))

As an aside, in comment to the note above about your “over-reactions”….whatever. I’m very like you in a lot of ways, and know where you’re coming from. Yes, I’ve changed a lot since having my son (especially since his diagnosis, which changed my life completely and forever), and so will you – there’s nothing like having a child to teach you that not all things in life can be controlled, and that not every bump in the road need be a major obstacle. BUT (and it’s a big one!), we all reach that place in our own time – and we all settle in a different part of that place. It’s easy for those of us who’ve spent some time as parents to minimize all those anxious, worried feelings that new parents-to-be experience – we’ve been there, done it, and survived. We could all do well, however, to remember what it was like for us the first time. What you’re feeling is normal, and it’s OK…NOT that you need some stranger on the internet to tell you that, but there you go! ;-)

You’re doing great, and you’ll be fine….whatever your definitive glucose test results are. Gestational diabetes, were you to get a positive (but, fingers crossed!), is no more “your fault” then my son’s diagnosis was his.

Take care of yourself.

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Very helpful. Thank you so much! :)

[Reply]

Tiffany@tifftales.blogspot.com     at 3:48 pm

You’re going to be a great mom! You’re doing all the right things, don’t blame yourself for things that are out of your hands. :)

[Reply]

Danielle     at 4:01 pm

Hi Emily,

I am so sorry you are going through this but I don’t feel like you should blame yourself regarding your eating and exercise. You read about and see so many instances that the healthiest of people will die suddenly of a heart attack or get cancer. These things just happen sometimes whether or not we do our best to prevent them. My mom has been healthy her entire life with working out and eating her best but she still suffers from thyroid problems.And on the other hand you see people that are smokers, drinkers and they live a long disease free life. Life works in mysterious ways…

[Reply]

Dukebdc     at 4:08 pm

Some things you can’t control. You didn’t fail the test because of something you could control. If you needed your resting heart rate measured, and they sprang it on you while running 10 miles, would you think that is an accurate reading? This is the same–they failed to tell you ahead of time about the test, so your reading is most likely innaccurate. Wait for the results from this second test, and go from there. There are enough reports of healthy women developing this to assuage any guilt. Sometimes, it just happens.

I eat a healthy vegetarian diet and exercise regularly, but I have horrible and persistent acid reflux. Every doctor I mention it to shrugs at me because their standard advice is “lose weight and eat better.” My weight is 100% normal and my diet is healthy, so what else can I do? I can’t control it, no one will judge me for it, so I take the medication and move on.

You and the baby will be fine!

[Reply]

Shana     at 4:15 pm

Your emotional immaturity is absolutely astounding. You really need to get a serious grasp on your issues before this baby arrives.

[Reply]

Leanne (Bride to Mrs.) Reply:

What is the matter with you? If you have nothing to say, or nothing constructive to say, then don’t comment at all.

[Reply]

Meghan Reply:

Seriously, get a life, Shana.

[Reply]

Stephanie Reply:

Hah and maybe a blog so we can judge you too, Shana.

[Reply]

Sarah Reply:

Inappropriate Shana. I’d like to see you completely admit that you have never broken down over a “minor issue” when you havent been pregnant. Considering how long Emily had to wait to even get pregnant I think her emotions are 100% legitimate.

[Reply]

Chrissy (The New Me) Reply:

How do you know Shana hasn’t been pregnant? Let’s not jump to conclusions about people jumping to conclusions. :)

[Reply]

Brittany Reply:

Shana, the fact that you had to nerve to write something that impertinent shows how immature you, in fact, are. I would like to think that there are nicer ways to say what you said. This is a blog that is written for mature people to read. This does not need to be made into a drama-filled website with people like you posting unneeded things.

[Reply]

Nina     at 4:20 pm

I think your reaction to the failed test is absolutely normal. You are hormonal, your sister is leaving after this week, and your husband is out of town. Of course it seems incredibly overwhelming! Also, I’d venture to say your accident last year has made you extra sensitive to health issues and medical treatment– I know I am super anxious now following my own significant health crisis.

Don’t let the nay-sayers make you believe you’re going to be too emotionally immature to handle motherhood. You’re an intelligent, warm, giving woman. If anything, you’re going to be a GREAT mom. Good luck, and have a fun vacation!

[Reply]

Leanne (Bride to Mrs.)     at 4:21 pm

Emily, I continue to be impressed with how HONEST and OPEN you are about the things you’re experiencing. These qualities are going to make you an awesome mother.

I hope that the test comes back all good… I’m hoping for you chicky :)

Don’t blame yourself… you aren’t one of those pregnant ladies who are at McDonalds constantly.

*hug* :)

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Thanks Leanne! :)

[Reply]

Stephanie     at 4:52 pm

Don’t be so hard on yourself, my dear.
I’ve been doing some research recently on diabetes and thyroid issues because my nonna has been dealing with that kind of stuff and I’ve found robertmorsend’s channel on YouTube incredibly informative. The link is here if you want to check it out: http://www.youtube.com/robertmorsend
Just look to the side and click “see more” to browse through his videos.

[Reply]

Ginna     at 5:00 pm

Emily – I think you are way too hard on yourself! You are so blessed this baby and you have had a great pregnant so far. The most important is that the baby is healthy right?!

I also recently was diagnosed hypothyroid and started synthroid. Did you know there is a fertile range for TSH? it is actually much lower than the accepted normal range. And you of course know they want your TSH even lower than that during pregnancy otherwise problems like miscarriage can occur. Hypothyroidism is one of the most common diagnoses among women! You should NOT be yourself up for being hypothyroid and NO you didn’t cause it!

I think it is such a shame that pregnant women seem to guilt themselves about everything! You are doing wonderfully!

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

I DID know about the lower levels of TSH. To be honest I only brought up the thyroid issue because it provoked a similar initial response. I don’t feel guilty for that anymore at all (and probably should have said that). Thyroid issues also run in my family, so it’s not a huge surprise. I hope that your levels even out quickly too!

[Reply]

Jane     at 5:05 pm

Good luck to you with your test. I can imagine the disappointment and nervousness. That being said, I stumbled upon your blog just about the time you announced you were pregnant. It was exciting to read! However, you seem to take yourself wayyyy too seriously. I mean this as constructive criticism so bear with me. You are a caring person and will surely be a great mom! When I mention to my sister who is pregnant about all the guilt you say you feel ( and the many times you italicized the word failure in your post today!) she luckily doesn’t feel any guilt and wonders why you do. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and rock that bikini in SC!! Don’t fret so much!!

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Constructive criticism is always appreciated. :) I think perhaps my reaction came across in writing stronger than I anticipated. I don’t really know what I have felt guilty about until now – I actually feel very happy about my pregnancy and feel I’ve been healthy, relaxed, and active. It’s easy to forget all the times I have remarked at how much I love this and how happy I am, and focus on the few times I have been open and shared some worries or concerns. I am amazed that your sister hasn’t had any herself.

[Reply]

jane Reply:

well at least she hasnt admitted to any ;-)

[Reply]

Anna Reply:

She didn’t say her sister didn’t have any worries or concerns just that she didn’t have guilt. I think there is a difference there (at least for me, but I’ve never been pregnant).

I don’t think there is anything wrong with your reaction though Emily.

[Reply]

Kinder     at 7:45 pm

I think every person is entitled to their own individual reactions to experiences that they are having, and that is based on their life. While it may not be another person’s experience, it does not make that reaction the wrong reaction.

All new mom’s have moments of panic, and stating that because their moment is different that your (wife, sister, cousin, best friend’s) moment, it is somehow wrong, is just absolutely insane.

Live your life, Emily, and take care of your baby the best way that you know how. I am sure you will be fine.

[Reply]

Rachelle     at 8:08 pm

Many Hugs. You are the best mom ever! Sometimes we can *NOT* control biology. Take it easy on yourself, you are growing a human after all, it is hard work!!!

[Reply]

Meagan     at 8:15 pm

Wow, after reading these comments I am kind of shocked. But comments are comments; they are ONLY comments; everyone has a the right to voice their opinion. That being said, comments CAN be either positive or negative. Whether someone comments politely or impolitely is up to their own discernment and morals. Alot of people choose to only comment politely, following the axiom “if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say it at all,” but comments are meant to be opinion, and if everyone said something nice all the time, comments wouldn’t be true comments, they’d be called a “suck up column.” I appreciate other’s honesty, but I would not have said something so rude on a blog personally. I hope people can understand my perspective.

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

I totally agree with you, which is why even when comments can be very hurtful, I don’t delete them. My hope is that the blog is a conversation – one that I am simply starting. I would hate to ruin the integrity of that by deleting comments so I don’t. At the same time, I hope that others will be as respectful and contribute to the conversation rather than just yell.

[Reply]

Ella     at 8:24 pm

I’m a dietetic intern (RD within a month if all goes well) and just want to say – a blood sugar of 169 is not so so much higher than 135. I hope your second test goes well, but please know that we see gestational diabetics in our outpatient clinic all the time, and are really happy when their numbers are in the 160′s as opposed to 200+. Best of luck!

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

That is actually really good to hear! I wasn’t sure how much of a range was typical in the numbers. Glad to know I’m not off the charts. :)

[Reply]

jessika Reply:

I agree. Those are pretty normal numbers for eating a meal and chugging 50 grams of sugar.( My mom is a type 2 diabetic)

I just did my 1 hour test, and they suggested I eat a bagel before hand… needless to say I just fasted. I’m not about to pop a whole bunch of carbs before a planned sugar test! I’m sorry that they sprang it on you. It’s like suprise pap smears, they don’t do any good :)

[Reply]

Kelsey     at 8:53 pm

Hi Emily, I’ve been reading your blog for awhile now and have never commented but I felt compelled to tonight after reading this post and these comments. I don’t know you, I only know what I see through your blog, and I’ve never been pregnant but I wanted to say I am 99.9% sure you’re going to be a fabulous mom. As someone who also struggles with anxiety, I know how hard it is to deal with medical issues (after months of doctors, I’ve recently been diagnosed with MS) and even just everyday worries and stress. I think your honesty is refreshing and very brave. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

[Reply]

Brynne     at 9:14 pm

Obviously that is tough news to hear and with your sister leaving this week, your husband away, and hormones – I would be in much worse condition! You eat and live in general so healthfully, don’t beat yourself up! No one’s body reacts the same way to ANYTHING, especially pregnancy! My nutritionist, an RD, had gestational diabetes with her first pregnancy and she has a BEAUTIFUL 18 month old boy and a girl on the way :)

[Reply]

Maryea {Happy Healthy Mama}     at 9:15 pm

I’m sorry to hear about your test. I would be stressed and upset about it, too, so I think your reaction is pretty normal. I hope you second results are better!

[Reply]

Kortney     at 9:31 pm

I just wanted to say that I am also pregnant! 21 weeks. With these 21 weeks though i do find myself wondering and worrying about issues that most would find silly. By no means do I find you worrying about GD silly (I just expressed concerns to my husband the other day about it.) with pregnancy I feel that I am more alert to my body and how I want things for this baby. I hope your test went fantastic. I can’t believe some of the other things people wrote on here and I am proud of you for how you responded. I would have been an emotional wreck and hormonal back towards them. But way to go with everything you will be a great mom. Have fun on vacation!

[Reply]

sarahMTSBB     at 10:10 pm

Emily-
I’m a lab tech and promise you that you shouldn’t look on the test as a personal “failure”… the carbs from your lunch right beforehand combined with the gross orange drink very likely caused it to be elevated, just like your cholesterol would be high if you weren’t fasting beforehand. Don’t worry until you get the 3 hour back!!! LOTS of women need to take the 3 hour test but end up not having gestational diabetes. I saw it all the time when I was a generalist working in chemistry. Good luck! Don’t freak out (anymore)!:)

[Reply]

Katherine     at 10:15 pm

This is not your fault! Keep your chin high!

[Reply]

Whitney B.     at 10:18 pm

Emily – I’m not pregnant, have never been pregnant, nor do I have any experience with diabetes testing, but just wanted to say that I think you write an amazing blog and that you seem like a wonderful person (not in spite of but because of the uncertainties and imperfections of your journey that you so eloquently discuss). If and when life gives you lemons, I have no doubt that you’ll create with them a fabulous lemon tart :).

[Reply]

Molly     at 10:47 pm

Hi Emily,

Don’t usually post but I always read your blog. I had my second daughter in May and I can honestly say that experiencing this with you has brought back a lot of good memories.

I hate that you have to say that you failed your glucose test…I feel like that puts so much personal responsibility on you that you do not deserve. I can tell you you have eaten ten times better than I ever did and I passed my test and I ate before mine too. I am sure there is a level of genetics at play. My next door neighbor has a similar body type to your is also fit and healthy and was shocked when she found out she had GD.

No matter what the results are please don’t be to hard on yourselfI know you will handle the third trimester as well as you handled the first two! The GD diet is tough but maybe your next adventure…adapting it to be as colorful and interesting with all your culinary experience.

Having kids is one surprise and adventure after another. You should never hide or squash your emotions so I am so glad that you shared with us how you felt! You are rocking your pregnancy and you will be an amazing mother!

Take Care and enjoy your trip.
Molly

[Reply]

Amelia     at 10:59 pm

Emily, I’m sorry to hear about the test. Here is to hoping that the next test comes back with better results. :) Enjoy your beach vacation. Which beach are y’all headed to in Charleston? My husband and I live near Folly Beach and we love it!! Super hot & humid here right now with temperatures reaching into the 105+ this weekend (factoring in heat index). Feel free to email me with any questions or suggestions for things to do/ places to eat in the Charleston area. :)

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Sullivan’s Island!

[Reply]

Susan     at 10:59 pm

Hi Emily,
I just want to apologize on behalf of the people who feel the need to point out your issues and be critical. This is a blog and if they don’t like what you write they don’t need to continue to read it. I have stopped reading some blogs when I saw things/patterns I didn’t want to be an audience to. People these days can be so mean, it’s not constructive and mean-ness never motivates people to change or get better, it only tears people down. A little mercy goes a long way. I’m praying that your test went better today. Everything happens for a reason, even though we don’t understand why. Take care and please enjoy your trip!!

[Reply]

Annie     at 11:01 pm

I love your blog. Really. I read it every day, but this is my first time commenting. I loved your line, ” It has forced me to let go of control and learn to give into natural changes that come with such an amazing physical transformation.” Pregnancy is HARD work! But, it sure does do a good job at preparing you for having a baby. I am, too, a control freak, and had such a hard time losing “control” over my body during pregnancy. I think I cried literally every day because I couldn’t eat what I wanted, couldn’t do anything that I wanted to do, had to pee 100 times a day, etc… :-) Once I had my babies (I had twins), I realized that I really didn’t have a lot of control over ANYTHING for a long time, and I was suddenly very greatful for those hard pregnancy moments that forced me to lose control. That may sound odd, but it’s true. Having my babies was the most wonderful, yet challenging thing in the whole world. I had a hard time letting go of being in control, being able to control every aspect of my day, and learning to “just roll with it”. But, in the end, it’s been so worth it…well…I can say that now because my 2 two-year olds are sleeping, I may not have wrote this same thing this afternoon when they were screaming and hitting each other with their toy golf clubs…:-) I think you have an amazing attitude, and I think everyone that reads this blog can agree that you have done an overwhelmingly good job of taking care of yourself during your pregnancy. Whether the test turns out positive or not, your baby is lucky to have you as his momma!

[Reply]

alyssa     at 11:02 pm

I don’t know much about gestational diabetes, but I have type 1 in addition to thyroid issues to I feel the frustrations of not being able to control what feels like should be easily controlled!

[Reply]

Samantha     at 11:35 pm

Emilly, you should not feel like a failure. And the one hour glucose really should be done fasting. I’m a phlebotomist and we don’t take nonfasting one hour glucose tests. With all that sugar and food already in your system there is no way it could be accurate. I’m sorry you had to go through so much stress that wasn’t necessary. All will be well I’m sure just try to relax and focus on your little boy. : )

[Reply]

Katy @ notjustacarnivore     at 11:53 pm

Having no medical training or experience with gestational diabetes, I can say this. I have SEVERE hypoglycemia that I’ve been working to control for years. 4 years ago, my standard blood sugar level was a 28. That usually means you should be seizing and near comatose. I’ve managed through diet to get it up so that it’s in the 40s-60s on average (normal is 80-120). When it was so low, I had to test my sugar levels a LOT and I can say that, even with blood sugar on average in the 20s and 30s, after a meal, it would spike as high as the 140s, even when I’d eaten well. Granted, part of the problem with hypoglycemia is that, when it spikes so high, my pancreas produces mass quantities of insulin and in plummets to crazy low levels, but the point is that such a huge spike was actually normal. Having just eaten can do CRAZY things to your glucose level.

So, long story short, that ambush test is ridiculous, but know that haven’t just eaten makes all the difference in the world. Good luck with the new test!

[Reply]

The Healthy Hostess     at 12:02 am

Thinking about you Emily! You know everything will workout for a reason and how it’s supposed to be. I know how nerve wrecking things like this are, and I hate to tell you but hte worrying does not let up. Anna is just 15 months and it feels like I just did what you are doing! So happy for you guys! :)

[Reply]

Amanda     at 12:10 am

Please stop beating yourself up. Please.

I’m angry on your behalf that they just threw you into a glucose tolerance test (GTT) and then used the results, if they did that to me I would raise hell. GTT are supposed to be done in the morning not on a full stomach. Your glucose was high because you had to chug a 50 gram glucose load ON TOP of a full lunch….. that’s a lot of calories*! Actually 169 mg/dL sounds about right for an hour after ingesting so much….

The GTT you’ve just taken should give you a better picture and hopefully the results are good this time!

(*I have a Bachelors in Medical Laboratory Technology & basically studied lab values and diseases for a couple of years. We spent 2 weeks on diabetes and glucose tolerance testing.)

[Reply]

April @ Grits and Granola Bars     at 12:18 am

I completely understand, Emily. My first pregnancy I developed hypothyroidism (and still have it to this day!) and in my second I had GD. It’s not fun but you can still have a healthy pregnancy/healthy baby even with those issues. I promise!

[Reply]

Shanna     at 1:27 am

I was one of the posters who commented on your thyroid post saying you could help to control it with foods. I never meant to insinuate that it is your fault or under your control, nor is this. Your body works the way it works and you can’t control it. I was just hoping to point out some ways in which you can help your body cope. My apologies for making you feel as if it was in any way your fault.

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Hey Shanna! No worries at all – I really wasn’t singling out any one specific person. I just meant that when you initially hear news like that, it’s easy to blame yourself. Being farther removed from the situation now, I obviously see it much clearer.

[Reply]

Hayley @ Oat Couture     at 4:27 am

I can’t believe they just sprung the test on you like that!! :( It really isn’t your fault though, from what I see you have a great and healthy diet and i’m sure this next test will give you a more accurate result! It must be so stressful but try not to let it get to you and just keep doing what your doing! Baby G will be just perfect! :)

[Reply]

Casey     at 6:10 am

I’m due like 2 days after you. I just took my blood glucose test about 2 weeks ago. My doctor said to not eat anything after midnight except protein. That might be why it came back as a fail.

[Reply]

Kari @ bite-sized thoughts     at 6:28 am

I’m sorry you had such a stressful experience with this :( What a hard thing to go through. Having the test sprung on you the first time also seems horrible even aside from food-related decisions in the hours before! I hope this test gives you some more positive results.

On a side note, and as said by others…it’s absolutely not your fault and my understanding of gestational diabetes is there’s a genetic loading and a whole heap people don’t understand at all :)

[Reply]

Angela     at 7:34 am

Hope the second test went well. Don’t beat yourself up too much about it though. You are doing the best you can for you and your baby and that’s all that matters xx

[Reply]

Gena     at 7:53 am

Oh, Emily!

You should never feel like this is your fault. Studying pre-med has certainly confirmed to me that lifestyle choices have a huge impact on how we feel, but to be frank, it has also shown me that there’s a lot that is determined by sheer randomness and chance. We can do our best, but bodies are also mysterious, and we have to humbly accept that we can only do so much. I hope you’ll take that to heart, and continue to be proud of a healthy pregnancy.

Gena

[Reply]

Pure2raw twins     at 8:22 am

Emily, I saw your tweets about this and wondered what was happening. Thank you for sharing, and as I wish I could offer some type of advice on what to do, I honestly have no idea. But like many people have said I do not think it is your fault!!! Remember people who eat well and exercise regularly can have health problems (I know I do), so you are not alone, just remember you will get through this. Thinking of you and your baby, always in our prayers.

[Reply]

Sarah@The Flying ONION     at 8:36 am

Hang in there, Emily!! You are doing everything right for your baby, and by having the attitude that you have, your baby is very lucky to have you for a mom.

And certainly don’t beat yourself up over this, as you’re physically fit, active and you eat healthy. Many of these things can be lessened to a degree with our healthy lifestyle choices, but this doesn’t necessarily, 100% stop them either! Hang in there!

[Reply]

Kristin     at 9:11 am

Isn’t it amazing how the safety of a computer screen compels certain people to be hateful? Would they have the nerve to walk up to a stranger in a grocery store and speak that way to them? It reminds me of how rude people can be from the safety of their own cars – flipping off the next driver left and right. Would they do that to someone blocking an aisle in the grocery store?
I digress. But lots of these comments were shockingly hostile.

So, I am preaching to the choir by now, but I feel for you. Because there is such a stigma and personal responsibility attached to type 2 diabetes, I think any of us would feel upset (and guilty even!) for ‘failing’ the gestational diabetes test. BUT, gestational diabetes is different, and my understanding is that it can be completely out of your control. It’s your body reacting to the pregnancy hormones. It’s unfortunate that the condition has to share a name (and thus the stigma) similar to type 2 diabetes.

But many have already said this, as you know :) Glad you are feeling better about everything (as I’ve noticed in the comments). Any challenge thrown our way is an opportunity to grow and to learn flexibility and adaptation in this world we all try to control so much! :)

[Reply]

Stefanie     at 9:11 am

It is not your fault if you fail you test. Just go and enjoy your trip while you still have some free time.

[Reply]

Lolly     at 9:59 am

23 YEARS later and thought of drinking anything orange still grosses me out!!! I failed the first one as well, passed the second one, and then got much more careful about the sugars I was consuming in the last trimester.
And yes, pregnancy and child-rearing will challenge your inner control freak. I love it when expectant parents find out the gender of their baby, so they can “plan”—ha,ha–enjoy that concept while you can!

[Reply]

Megan     at 10:38 am

I agree with other commenters that it’s strange they ambushed you. When I took a blood sugar test, I was asked to fast all night.

One thing to consider – and I’m thinking of it only as a hypothyroid person and not a pregnant lady – is it possible they have you on too much synthroid (thryoid med)? As I adjust doses, that is one “warning” sign that I am on too much medication. Thyroid meds can definitely mess with blood sugar/glucose. I never had blood sugar problems and now watch myself bc of the medication I’m on. Just something outside the box to consider.

Please do not blame yourself! Anyone following this blog can see how much you love your family and put their health first. Continue living healthfully and I look forward to seeing the new bean :)

[Reply]

Sarena (The Non-Dairy Queen)     at 10:39 am

My fingers are crossed for you Emily. They should have told you they were giving you that test though. That’s not something that you can eat and then go in for. I’m with you too…that crap gagged me. It was horrible. Keep your chin up and I hope you’re having a good weekend.

[Reply]

Anna     at 11:11 am

Best of luck to you Emily! I hope the second test went better.

[Reply]

Kelly B     at 12:05 pm

I’ve been following your blog for about 6 or 7 weeks now…my twin sister sent it to me right after I found out I was pregnant. It’s great having someone about a trimester ahead of me, so i can look forward to what’s to come, I appreciate you sharing so much of your life with the web world. I have recently had a similiar experience and feelings as you, so I thought i would share.

When I was at my first midwife appointment 5 weeks ago, blood was taken by the gallon for the standard prenatal panel of test. Imagine my surprise when the next day, I got a call from my midwife (who practices at a teaching hospital here in San Diego) when she told me I was being diagnosed with gestational diabetes!! Noone I spoke with had ever heard of anyone being diagnosed with GD in the first trimester, let alone by one fasting BS test…I too am a very active, healthy person, who also feels like I eat healthier than most, who was shocked by my diagnosis. I cried, and fought, and I cried some more, feeling as though I had done something wrong. I learned how to stick myself 4 times a day, and semi-follow their “diet” rules (i say semi because I think I actually eat BETTER than their guidelines).

For over the past month, I’ve struggled with getting my fasting blood sugars lowered (they are consistently about 93-96, when “normal” here is under 90). Since they’re virtually impossible to control with diet, I’e stepped up my exercise routine, which had fallen to the wayside as I pretty sick most of my first trimester, and I’ve added back in my evening snack before bed.

Also just this week, I’ve “given in” to the medical professionals and will begin taking metformin tonight to get my fasting numbers down. I’ve fought and fought for weeks, resisting their suggestions of medications, praying to every goddess out there that I could do this without medication, but I know now that I probably can’t. I’m hoping that as my exercise and metabolism start kicking in, my fasting #s will drop enough to get me off the medication in time to go back to the birth center I was planning on birthing at, but that’s aways away before I know about that, so right now i’m (trying) to focus on being the healthiest most positive I can be, but it’s hard. There’s still not a day that goes by when all I want for breakfast is a big bowl of fruit, or a fruit smoothie. And there’s not a day that goes by that I think about this diagnosis and how I wish I could just have a “normal” pregnancy.

My focus for the next 2 trimesters is to stay positive (it’s hard, but i’m trying!) and to get myself out of this by doing everything i’m told, even if that means taking medication for my health, and the health of the baby. If you have any questions, feel free to email me.

Kelly

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Thanks Kelly! So helpful to hear someone else dealing with something similar. Sounds like you are doing everything just right. Pregnancy is crazy, right?

[Reply]

Michele     at 12:10 pm

I failed THREE of those tests; but passed all the extensive tests – 3 hours….regardless; YOU and the little man WILL be just fine!

Believe, take a deep breath and make the right choices; you’re doing great!!

[Reply]

Amber K     at 12:30 pm

Wow, just wow. Even if I thought you were overreacting (which I don’t)the wording of some of the comments is just astounding. You are so brave to be so open and honest about feelings that you are not alone in. Many, many women have felt the same way, and that people would be so harsh hurts my heart.

I pray everything goes well for you today Emily and that you keep being a good mama to Baby C. :)

[Reply]

gas     at 12:35 pm

I’m going to say some things that are not going to be popular but I think it needs to be said.

1 you can’t study for a GTT. You were not ambushed. Either your body responds normally or it does not. If you would have eaten differently then it begs the question are you trying to game the test and not have to deal with denial that your diet is less than healthy? If you game the test and pass then you really didn’t pass and you are just kidding yourself, and you therefore are kidding your baby. You say you have no control, but in fact you do have some control, but you won’t be exert that control unless you become honest. It’s your baby who has no control.

2 You have not 1 but 2 endocrine problems, enough red flags to really start paying attention.

3 You claim to have a “healthy diet, exercise bla bla bla”, but do you really? What I see in food blog land are a lot of people saying the same thing and not very much evidence for what they say except they read it on another blog. I’m sure its not different in baby blog land. Fads catch fire in blog land. One month “its new rules of lifting for women”, the next it’s chia seeds out the poop shoot, the next everyone is training for triathlons. What I do see in food blog land is a adherence to a political agenda. Some joker publishes a book on food and suddenly you can’t eat chicken or dairy because its such an abuse of chickens and cows. Well did anyone ever think cutting out meat protein and dairy might just have an impact on lets say the endocrine system or fertility? The meal you described with tomato soup and ice cream and muffins to me sounds not much different nutritionally than eating a couple bags of potato chips

4 you tend to want to be alternative. I had a friend who was an engineer at NASA. She got breast cancer. She was arrogant enough to think she new better and studied all the alternative treatments even to the point of getting certified in cranio-sacral release and setting up a practice. I am a pain physician and I would send her patients that I thought could benefit from her technique so I am not in the least adverse to alternative when it’s appropriate. I took my 1 year old daughter to the guy who invented cranio-sacral when I thought it would help solve an intense pain problem she was having, and in fact it did work for her. To my friend however medicine was political. She had a huge chip on her shoulder regarding treatment. She’s still dead. What is the point of that regarding your situation? As an anesthesiologist I’ve been involved in a few thousand C sections and about ten thousand epidurals and if you have gestational diabetes and you have chosen a midwife practice as your system of medical support be very aware of the politics of midwifery, because “honey you can do it au natural” doesn’t always work out that well, and especially if you are trying to push out an 11lb baby because of the diabetes.

Jet planes fly into the ground typically not because of one catastrophic failure. They fly into the ground because a lot of little failures add up at the same point in time. Do not let your plane fly into the ground because of politics or trendy internet blogospheres, or trendy alternatives that are all acclaimed by the magazines. This does not mean abandon what you are doing. It merely means to question what you are doing in the face of a changing data set. Ask yourself which way the arrows are pointing. You now have a couple arrows pointing toward the ground, failed GGT and thyroid abnormalities. You have a medical support system that is alternative and you have a diet that is alternative. I can’t tell if those are up or down or sideways. All of that is ok right up to the point it fails.

I have been called in way too many times at 2:30am to emergently deliver a baby by C-Section that should have been taken 12 hours earlier. I always hated that call the most because it placed 2 lives in my hands, one in the process of becoming a mother, and one in the process of being born, in a less than ideal situation.

Today is the day to honestly evaluate your situation and make your plans based on the changing facts present today

[Reply]

erin Reply:

very well said and excellent points.
I totally agree. I am so sick of hearing about freakin chia seeds on healthy living blogs and the notion that not eating meat/dairy=healthy. As someone who was a vegetarian for 5 years I can tell you I was way less healthy then than I am now that i am back to eating animals and animal products.

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

I’m not going to address all of this, other than to tell you that I’ve been a vegetarian for three years now, long before I began blogging about food. My dietary choices are in no way influenced by trends or blog popularity, and I certainly don’t make decisions hoping they will gain me more readers or traffic.

I can appreciate that you have a different opinion on subjects like medicine and diet. Please remember that you do not always see the big picture though, and you don’t know the specifics of my prenatal care or my eating habits. I don’t show what I eat here each day for a reason.

I don’t have the desire to be “alternative” as you suggested, but I really truly believe in the choices I have made for myself. Clearly you do too, so I’m sure you can understand that.

[Reply]

Kristin Reply:

Hmm. Nice bedside manner? If you are going to comment from the standpoint of a physician I think it would be appropriate to be more professional in your manner of speaking.

[Reply]

Jo Reply:

gas – I think that you should educate yourself about childbirth outside the USA. In England all babies (unless there is a need for a C-section) are delivered by midwives. In addition, the rates for epidurals and narcotic pain relief are much lower that in the USA, the most popular form of pain relief in ‘gas and air’, an inhalable mixture of nitrous oxide and oxygen. Childbirth in the USA has a lot of unnecessary physician involvement; other countries have midwife-led care and much lower neonatal and maternal death rates.

As an aside, I tried to get pregnant for a year, and only succeeded after becoming vegetarian.

[Reply]

Liz Reply:

gas: A meatless and dairy-free diet may be “alternative” from your cultural perspective, but there are millions of people in other cultures for whom it’s the typical diet, not alternative. A vegetarian diet is hardly radical, faddish, or medically irresponsible.

Further, as Jo mentioned, care from a midwife is standard, not “alternative” in many countries. Even in the U.S., this maternal care choice is not necessarily “alternative,” and it doesn’t even mean Emily’s planning to give birth outside a hospital. Your anecdotes of your engineer friend and the C-section cases you have seen is hardly persuasive medical evidence. Again, using a midwife is not just some fad.

Also? You ridiculously claim that a lunch of tomato soup, avocado on an English muffin, and almond milk ice cream has the nutritional value of potato chips. How on earth can you possess any kind of medical degree?

We now know that Emily does *not* have gestational diabetes. Great news, Emily! And keep up the pregnancy posts: most of your readers are cheering you on and excited for the next developments.

[Reply]

kara     at 12:59 pm

Hi Emily, I just wanted to take a second to thank you for being so open and honest on the blog. I am very similar to you in terms of anxiety, especially in situations like these, and although I am not and have not ever been pregnant, it’s really nice and helpful to read about your reactions and how you work through things. My worries have been difficult to deal with and most of the time I find it hard to confide in people about them, so it’s comforting to learn how others cope. The original post you wrote way back about your anxiety really spoke to me and since then, any post that relates to that has helped me to see that others do go through similar things, have similar concerns, and find ways to work through them. So.. thank you! Hope you can relax enough to enjoy your vacation.. you deserve it!

[Reply]

rachel     at 3:04 pm

I think those commenters who are having trouble dealing with Emily’s emotional response to her body’s changes during pregnancy really should be reading Web MD. This isn’t What to Expect When You’re Expecting. It’s an extremely subjective account, so why are you upset that it’s subjective?…I think so many women identify with Emily’s anxiety and concerns with the unfamiliar territory of pregnancy, not to mention dealing with those things while also having fluctuating hormones due to pregnancy. I actually LOVE that Emily will sometimes say, I am so stressed out about this, and then people comment and say look, I’m a doctor/nurse/whatever and you don’t need to worry for this reason. In that way, I think the blog is a useful resource for other people with those concerns, as well as just a fun thing to read.

I also resent people who think having emotional reactions means you’re hysterical…

[Reply]

Ellie Reply:

I really like that exact element of Emily’s blog too! I too don’t think that having emotional reactions means you are hysterical. We all have emotional reactions to things even if we’re sometimes loathe to admit it. It’s true though that sometimes a person who’s removed from a situation can have a level of objective perspective about it, but that this doesn’t need to entail belittling anyone.

[Reply]

rachel     at 3:08 pm

Also, some of these commenters need to work on reading comprehension…or they’ve never read your blog before.

[Reply]

m     at 5:03 pm

Please stop worrying that it’s your fault. You know you love your baby and your doing the best you can. But you do need to start revisiting your plans and preparing mentally for things to not go exactly as you would have them ideally be. Since you know you love to control things, this is the best thing you can do to help you feel in control going forward.

You may want to meet with an OBGYN so you know one, in case you develop complications. You should start preparing mentally for the possibility the baby may need to be here a bit before his due date. And start preparing mentally for the possibility (not certainty by any means, but possibility) of needing a c-section, and being as okay with that as you can be before the birth.

I gave birth at 31 weeks 2 months ago, the whole process was 40 minutes from thinking something was wrong to her being born – we barely made it to the hospital. I played over again and again all the things I could have done differently – but I had an absolutely textbook pregnancy with no complications so how was I to know?

All I know is that what got me through was stopping that thinking and focusing on what I could control – establishing a milk supply, visiting my daughter, learning about preemies, etc. (she’s home and doing well now!)

My advice would be to try to focus your energy on the productive aspects and obsess a little less on what you can’t control.

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

That is actually exactly my plan! I don’t have a “birth plan” for a reason – I know that it’s nothing something I can control or plan out on paper. I do have access to an OB through the office I am currently with, and I have all the resources set up if needed to have access to traditional OB practices. Every week that I am still pregnant, I am grateful that our little guy has had another week to grow. Whenever he gets here, ready or not, we will be happy for his arrival.

[Reply]

Tara     at 6:37 am

I find it really offensive that you are blaming yourself for having gestational diabetes. It happens. It happened to my mom. Was it her fault? No. After pregnancy the diabetes did not disappear (neither did her thyroid problems) and eventually we found out she had undiagnosed celiac disease. Her situation was unique, granted, but I guess my point is that no matter what health problems arise you will still love your baby and that’s what makes someone a good mom. My mom was a great mom and I think it’s unfair to judge her based on the fact that she had gestational diabetes. You seem to attach a lot of strong feelings to how healthy you are and I think it speaks more to your mindset than to actual healthiness.

[Reply]

Megan     at 7:50 am

Aww so sorry for difficulties. Don’t worry too much, although that isn’t easy. My friend just failed her first test and then passed the 3 hour one. You’ll be okay, you’ve made it this far in your pregnancy and you’ll be just fine.

And health problems aren’t your fault, they just happen in pregnancy, there are so many things going on with your body. Hugs

[Reply]

Megan     at 11:58 pm

Hi Emily. I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 2 years ago, so I know how scary it must be for you during your pregnancy. I know I was scared, upset, and panicked when I got diagnosed. The biggest thing that has helped me is just remembering that it IS managable. If I’m ever feeling down about it I try to remember that there are thousands of others who have unmanagable diseases, and mine isn’t as bad. It is a huge lifestyle change though! I hope your test goes well, but if you have any questions at all, I’m here to help :)

[Reply]

Sam     at 11:08 pm

Hi Emily, I’ve been reading your blog for some time now, but this is actually my first comment. I felt compelled to comment on this post, not only for what you wrote, but based on some of the above comments. Some of them seemed a personal attack, and I was bothered by that. I give you serious credit for being real with your readers and sharing your life with the world the way you do. It seems to me you were writing in the moment, and your thoughts and feelings reflected that. Some distance from that day may help put the pregnancy and GTT into a different perspective. Regardless of the results, keep up the great work in taking care of yourself, learning about yourself, and sharing it all with your readers. Have a wonderful, relaxing vacation!

[Reply]

Ashley     at 12:05 am

HOLY comments!!!! To me, everything you write, is everything I would imagine feeling while pregnant. You don’t hold back and people aren’t used to reading “LIVE” preggo information. They’re using to reading pregnancy books + WebMD. I know a lot of women keep pregnancy journals, and I would imagine this is exactly what they write about!

[Reply]

Meghan     at 12:12 am

Hi Emily,
Just wanted to say thank you for writing your blog even though people are SO mean sometimes. The Daily Garnish brightens my day and just tonight I made some zucchini boats that were inspired by one of your recipes! Your honest posts continually show your strength as you overcome obstacles from being hit by a car to finding peace with your past like this years Fathers Day post. I hope your vaca is awesome! I love that area. The beaches are SO pretty.

[Reply]

Cassie @ Back to Her Roots     at 6:10 am

I’m late to this party. But I just can’t believe some of the comments.

Please don’t censor yourself. You are one of the few bloggers left out there that I feel are real and honest and that I can look up to.

Remember, when someone has a problem with you, it is never actually about you. It is almost always about them.

*hugs*

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

No worries, no censoring here. :)

[Reply]

Nan     at 8:18 am

Emily- I never post but just wanted to tell you that I love your blog and look forward to reading each day. I feel that you are so honest, insightful, and interesting. As a woman and also as a psychotherapist, I commend you on your honesty of all your feelings and experiences and this awareness that you have of your self is truly going to make you an excellent Momma. This is such an exciting and challenging time and the ups and downs are truly inherent in this experience. Thanks for sharing your experience with all of us.

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Thanks so much Nan!

[Reply]

Sarah     at 9:22 am

Emily – I agree with Meghan. Your honesty about the ups and downs you experience in life is absolutely refreshing and encouraging. I hope that these posts don’t deter you from blogging about your true emotions and experiences. Keep it up, girl!

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

It happens! :) Just part of the job.

[Reply]

amanda     at 10:27 am

Wow. Just, wow. I don’t normally read comments on blogs but I was kinda pointed here by your recent post and I can’t believe how disrespectful people can be! Guys, this is one person’s experience. She’s not claiming to be a doctor or a therapist or anything of the sort: she’s dealing with all of the completely normal fears and experiences of having her first baby.

Emily, I’m glad to hear that you’re feeling better about the first test results, and that the second test went better for you. I can tell you that I would have freaked out as well, but there wasn’t anything that you did or could have done. Gestational diabetes is very common and while it’s not something to be taken lightly, it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

I applaud you for making such a personal experience public. I don’t know that I would be so brave.

[Reply]

shannon (the daily balance)     at 11:05 am

haters gonna hate.

hope you don’t let it bother you too much, Mama ;)

Just as they are allowed to have opinions, you are allowed to have reactions and feel whichever way you want – no explanations necessary.

you are a MOTHER — and most of these commenters should know that when it comes to your child, rational thought and “keeping your emotions in check” are impossiblities, anyway.

[Reply]

Kate     at 12:01 pm

I’ve been reading your blog for a few months and never commented, but I really feel compelled to after reading some of the other comments. This blog has really helped me figure out a way to eat healthily as a relatively new vegetarian and runner, and I’ve really enjoyed reading about your pregnancy too. I check at least a few times a week for recipes and baby updates,’so much fun to read!

[Reply]

Nicole     at 12:16 pm

What a comment shit storm! The posts that causes such drama always suprise me. Anyway, I thought I’d throw in my two cents regarding postpartum since it is the only thing I’m qualified to speak about. PPD occurs in up to 1/3 of women and the severity ranges from “mommy blues” to homicidal thoughts. The largest predictor of PPD is a history of major depressive disorder—this is the type of depression that requires treatment, not just a week of feeling sad. So, everyone who thinks that your anxiety issues or emotionality sets you up for PPD, they are plain wrong. Not sure if those comments struck a little fear within you, but I just wanted to give you my professional opinion based on reading your blog and having spent a few days with you and Casey. Being an emotional person is viewed as such a negative thing in this country. It’s not like you act on your emotions in a way that is harmful to anyone. I love that you share your feelings–especially when you are in the moment and raw. People need to toughen up–it’s just a blog post! ;)

[Reply]

Julie     at 1:29 pm

Wow. Remind me to never start a mommy blog. I am a worry wart and super emotional to begin with, I can’t imagine what I’d be like pregnant…and what people would have to say about it :/

I enjoy your honesty and love reading about your pregnancy. Don’t let the haters get you down ;)

[Reply]

Coree     at 1:47 pm

I love your blog!!! I’ve read most of it (stalked through your archives!), and I could not believe the comments on this post. I so admire your honesty. I hope to one day be as self aware as you are and as brave to be able to admit it to yourself and the world.

I look forward to reading your blog and find you to be an inspiration!!!

[Reply]

Angie @ Musings of a Violet Monkey     at 9:12 am

I had missed this post back when you posted it, and have been catching up…

To say that I was blown away by some of the reactions to this post, would be a great understatement.

I love that you are real, that you feel, and that you aren’t afraid to share what might be the “unpopular” point-of-view with us. It’s what makes you interesting to read, and interact with. If I wanted to read a medical textbook, I would.

I want to second (or third, or fourth!) the sentiment that you shouldn’t take some of these comments seriously. Those who leave nasty comments, anonymously, no less (imagine that, eh?) are usually the ones who have unresolved issues regarding these things, themselves.

I am an emotional person, (as you seem to be), and I’m so sick and tired of that being a “bad thing”. Being emotional, and caring are NOT signs of weakness, or being hysterical. What a load of BS.

And as for the comment by “Pete”… I have one thing to say — “No uterus, no opinion”. Thankyouverymuch! ;)

I think you are awesome, and I love following along with your pregnancy journey (and was a reader beforehand). I look forward to hearing about it all… the good, the bad, and the ugly. That is life.

Keep it up. :)

~

[Reply]

Emily Malone Reply:

Thanks Angie! I know what you mean – emotional does not equal crazy. It makes us interesting. :) No worries. While I think it’s important to always be open to feedback and different opinions, I also have a pretty thick skin at this point.

[Reply]

Angie @ Musings of a Violet Monkey Reply:

I’d would imagine you’d have to have a thick skin at this point – and I admire that about you, as well. :)
I doubt I would handle those types of comments as eloquently as you do.

~

[Reply]

Mom     at 5:56 pm

I finally was able to read all the comments on this blog and just wanted to add my own comment, I am Emily Malone’s mother… I was told twice, once when carrying Emily and again when carrying Sarah, that I was at risk of gestational diabetes. My reaction, after the initial panic and “beating myself up”, was to research it and ask my doctor for suggestions on how to “fix” it (we try to “fix” things a lot in our family) With Emily, I did not end up having GD but I had to be induced early with Sarah because of gestational diabetes combined with a placenta previa (I also was 39 years old) I felt worry and concern for both babies on the diagnosis and some “guilt” that I had some how caused this. My doctor assured me both times that my feelings were normal and that I was not to “blame”. When Rebecca was born, I had planned to have “natural unmedicated childbirth” because that is what my childbirth class said was “the only way to protect your baby during childbirth” (It was 1978).I felt horribly guilty that I had hurt Rebecca in some way when I had to have an epidural. I came to realize later, that the epidural was not the worst thing to happen to her. I think all women, when pregnant and in the first few years of raising children worry about how their actions will affect their child- I think this is very normal and would worry more about the woman, or man, who does not realize the consequences of their actions. Everyone has anxieties and some people are more outward in their expression of them. Emily’s job is to write about her feelings and she does an excellent job of letting you feel her “pain” as well as her joy. Post partum depression usually results from holding your anxiety and fears inside. Most of you read this blog because Emily is real and shows you herself from the inside out. Perhaps not being judgemental and presumptious and listening to the feeling of the blog instead of just the words would help to better convey what Emily is actually saying…

[Reply]

Lindsey     at 7:02 pm

Found your blog about a year ago via those amazing Asian/sesame brussel sprouts (!)… I just want to thank you for presenting such an honest, insightful and uplifting blog. It truly is so refreshing.

I love that your momma responded to the presence of such misguided negativity. Mine would have done the EXACT same!

[Reply]

JenRD     at 10:34 pm

Awww, sorry I am late to see this post! As a registered dietitian and certified diabetes educate, who also just happens to be 34 weeks preggers, I have lots to add to this topic!
Bottom line is that if you were to be diagnosed with GDM, it is NOT your fault! It is not from eating too much sugar or too many carbs. Pregnancy in itself is an insulin-resistant state, becoming more so the farther along you are. What this means is that even the healthiest of us (including fellow dietitians!) can develop GDM.
Most risk factors you can not control (i.e. age, race, family history); the ones you can control are being a healthy weight prior to pregnancy, gaining weight gradually, and being active–all help to reduce that insulin resistance.
Anyway, glad your 3 hr OGTT came back normal!
Jen

[Reply]

JenRD Reply:

Also wanted to add that STRESS can raise your blood glucose as well! They definitely should not have ambushed you with the glucose screen–it should be done on at least a 4-hour fast! Food in belly + stress in pregnancy = higher blood glucose.

[Reply]

Tara     at 5:36 pm

I feel you! I’m a registered dietitian, totally gaining the appropriate amount of weight, eat healthy and exercise regularly. However, I totally failed my 1 hour glucose test and had to do the 3 hour. I was so bummed when people found out I didn’t pass, they were trying to give me nutrition advice. Really? Anyway, looks like according to your updates, we are due at the exact same time. Mid-October…We’re having a boy too! I did end up passing my 3-hour. You too? I think the one hour test is lame as your body is out of wack as it is.

[Reply]

Lay off the sweets « Duke’s House     at 12:10 am

[...] encountered ranging from Emily of “Daily Garnish” writing about hypothyroidism and a gestational diabetes scare, to Jen from “This Runner’s Trials” talking about both success and challenges [...]

Nicole     at 10:58 am

Hi! Thank you for this post (I know it was written a while ago, but it is helpful for me right now!) I failed my first test, and passed 3/4 of my second tests, so the nurse told me to “watch my carb intake” (ask if I don’t already do that!) Anyway, I was…am…feeling pretty depressed about it, especially after talking to my Labor and Delivery nurse sister-in-law who told me the results “probably weren’t completely my fault”. Anyway, I’ve been feeling very guilty for the past few days for how I could have caused this. Glad to know I’m not the only one.

[Reply]

shekhar     at 2:59 am

nice article on gestational diabetes ..I follow http://www.gestational-diabetes-diet.com to have information about gestational diabetes diet

[Reply]

nehaelecwire     at 4:12 am

Buy diabetic socks online Diabetic Socks Online at elecwire.com with free shipping and COD. Shop online best diabetic socks online from elecwire.com

[Reply]

Dannielle N. Mahon     at 12:22 am

Thanks to my father who shared with me on the topic of
this web site, this weblog is truly awesome.

[Reply]

TrackBack URI

Leave a comment

(required)

(required)




    Welcome.

    A resource for healthy recipes, cooking tips, and inspiration for active living. Welcome!

    @DailyGarnish

    On Babble.

    On Facebook.

    On Twitter.

    Favorite Things

    On My Recipage.

    Categories




© 2014 Daily Garnish
All content is protected by copyright. Please do not reproduce in any form.
Blog design by Splendid Sparrow